Don't want to help relative

LawAbiding

Recently, as I have changed jobs and done well. I have more and more people at my doorstep asking for help to get in to the companies.

A few people I have had to be blunt and say, I do not know you well enough to recommend you for any jobs, end of day, its my reputation on the line too.

I have also in the past said, I have given your details, its out of my hands now, when I never did. Not a great feeling to do, but keeps your positive relationship in tact.

CrumpetCombe

theoretica wrote: »

Assuming you are not in a position to recruit people on the basis of friendship (no one is in many workplaces!) just point that out. I am sure there is a lot you can talk about that isn't at all confidential - what the working day is like, valued skills, interesting or boring bits of the job, what promotion prospects are in reality, how often jobs are advertised and which are good entry roles... I have a number of times met with students to talk about what it is like in my industry.

I'm not in a position to hire but my employer hires quite often based on recommendations from existing employees. My employer doesn't even mention promotion prospects etc on their website, it's just we're hiring for x and y roles, please send us your CV. They use their brand name to attract candidates and don't even bother going into detail/making an effort when advertising jobs.



This relative is a director for a large company so he's filthy rich and doesn't care about a spare BMW. He hasn't been in contact with me for more than 12 years so he's not what I call a close relative. The only reason he suddenly contacted me is after finding out from my dad I managed to land a job in this industry.



If I did help his son (never met in person!) get a job at my workplace, and he turns out to be a problem person or uses my employer as a stepping stone, my employer will end up hating me.


My dad was convinced this relative wanted to contact me to 'help' me. He respects this relative so much, doesn't know he's just fishing for info and trying to use me to help his son get a job.


Thinking of a super nice way to fob him off.

LawAbiding

Says it all, never been in touch for 12 years and now out of bloom wants your help.

One group of people I hate with a passion!

If you want a super nice way to fob him off, just say, you've passed details and nothing else you can do.

TELLIT01

You could pass on the application from the son with a covering letter stating they are a distant family member who you have little knowledge off and you are not making any comment about their suitability for the job.

patman99

Just tell him to send in his CV with a covering letter.


If they think he is suitable, then they will call him in for an interview.


Don't worry about him using the firm as a stepping stone as many folks do just that.
If he turns out to be useless at the job, then they will get shot of him and, so long as you have not personnally reccommended him, it will have no affect on what the firm thinks of you.


Remember, they know what you are like as an employee, so whatever this relative does will not impact on you.

CrumpetCombe

patman99 wrote: »

Just tell him to send in his CV with a covering letter.


If they think he is suitable, then they will call him in for an interview.


Don't worry about him using the firm as a stepping stone as many folks do just that.
If he turns out to be useless at the job, then they will get shot of him and, so long as you have not personnally reccommended him, it will have no affect on what the firm thinks of you.


Remember, they know what you are like as an employee, so whatever this relative does will not impact on you.

I read online about someone who recommended a female friend to his workplace. As soon as she got the job she notified the employer she's pregnant and screwed up their plans for her and the department. The employer believed the guy who recommended her knew she was pregnant and did not tell them, the trust between them was lost just like that. While my relative's son can't get pregnant, I doubt if something wrong happens I won't take the blame.


I'll just pretend to have passed his details on.

TELLIT01

I was in a situation where two people I had previously worked with applied for jobs with my employer. They didn't know I was there but my manager asked me about them. I gave an honest appraisal, warts and all, of the individuals and both were offered, and accepted, jobs. A few weeks after they started my manager spoke to me and said my appraisals of both had been spot on.
Had there been any problems no blame could have been attached to me. I didn't say employ or don't employ, that wasn't my decision.

Marcon

You seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill. Your title says it all: you don't want to help.

Explain that you can't recommend someone unless you have known them well for a period of some years, as you are sure he'll understand(!), but you are happy to meet the son for a general chat about working in your industry.

Forget the white lie approach - it isn't needed and could come back to haunt you.

Gavin83

CrumpetCombe wrote: »

Thinking of a super nice way to fob him off.

I'm not really sure why you're bothering. You haven't heard from this person for 12 years, you'll probably never hear from them again. If you upset them so what? It'll make no difference to your life. I think it goes without saying that it's a bad idea to recommend this person, it could affect your career and not positively.

Just say you aren't willing to recommend someone you've never met. If you'll feel bad then feel free to offer general advice about your industry but don't expect any thanks for it.

The only people I'd consider recommending are ex work colleagues who I know are exceptional at their jobs, so that excludes 99% of people. I would however be willing to give an honest appraisal if asked by my employer.

I actually know a senior member of staff who lost a very lucrative job offer (around £100k payrise) because someone much lower down the food chain was asked for their opinion on this person. Highlights the whole theory of being nice to everyone, regardless of their position.

James1968

As long as you don't actually recommend them, but simply hand your employer their cv then no fall back on you.

If your boss asks you what your relative is like, just say you don't know him well enough to give a personal opinion.