My Early Retirement Story - Another Perspective

Dorian1958

I have 3 children aged in their early to mid 20's and one teenager still at school. There was little change in expenditure from primary to early secondary but as they got older the costs started to increase with mobile phones, more school uniform (thank you Child Benefit), and the usual clubs, activities, music, football, tennis etc. Threw in some tutoring for Maths and English and I think £100 - 125 per month per child is a conservative estimate, increasing with driving lessons. This of course could have increased substantially if they had been involved in stuff which required a lot of expensive equipment (they didn't) or they became really serious about the activity involving lots of additional travelling, time away etc. Also, they had a couple of foreign "educational" trips abroad each (one in early secondary and another when they were seniors), so £300 - 400 for each trip. Didn't mind these because as a family our holidays were spent at the seaside in a caravan (no regrets, great fun). For the eldest, at the time this just came out of income as I was working. As they got older they were encouraged into part time jobs so taking responsibility for their own saving and spending (and contributing towards driving lessons), although they still received pocket money until they left for uni. If you do that, try and help them find something local - mine either walked or cycled to work in our local community - or else you might just end up driving them to and from work, somewhat defeating part of the purpose. Also, their work must not be so onerous it interferes with school. I was initially worried when my eldest found a job in a bakery (5 mins walk from the house), however, he had worked 5 hours before midday on a Saturday morning whereas previously that was his getting up time! So no real eating into school work time. No expense during the secondary years matches up to uni costs (unless you are educating them privately in which going to uni possibly means savings). £20-25K per child required for uni for accommodation/travelling costs was what I successfully budgeted for. At uni, they took the part time work attitude forward and this helped with supporting themselves when they were studying, again without interfering with studies. I believe this work ethic helped them make the transition from uni to the next stage as they were clearly able to demonstrate a range of soft skills that employers look for in employees. Hope this helps you, ams25.

MallyGirl

ams25 wrote: »

I do have funds earmarked for uni support but wonder how it will all change in the next 10 years. I am perhaps more concerned with the general cost of supporting the teenage years. Grateful if anyone can help quantify the cost of supporting primary vs secondary... I assume it's more but unsure really how much. Already covering a host of activities, clubs etc. I am sure you can spend as much as you want...but what's typical might be helpful. Anyone?

I think there are more spending opportunities at secondary school- but you can also have a more sensible discussion about why they can, or can't, do whatever it is. We were paying for indie primary school but DD was really keen to go to the local grammar. As a result we were able to say yes to a number of trips and activities that might have needed more discussion.
Music is a big expense here - as she has got better this has led to buying better instruments and paying for more specialist lessons. That is a choice we made.
Things like Duke of Edinburgh can be quite expensive depending on where the trips go and what kit you have to buy.
Clothes and shoes are more expensive.
We said yes to a fab 3 week trip to Nepal which really had a huge effect on her confidence and self reliance.
She has opted to go back to the Indie for 6th form as she thinks they will support her better in getting onto her chosen uni course.
Driving lessons start on her 17th birthday as I would like to do less taxi service. Again this doesn't have to happen but it suits us to support it.

ams25

Thanks dorian1958. That is very helpful.

Assume the 20-25k excluded tuition costs and they have that to pay that off still. It looks like you've got a good balance there between some parental support with encouragement to self support for the extras...which is what I would aim for also.

Dorian1958

Yes the 20-25K did not include tuition costs but they are covered by the Scottish Government (no backlash please, I don't dictate government policy). Also, 4-5 year degrees, so longer at uni. It also didn't cover all the costs as they had to eat and wanted to do a bit of travelling (which they paid for themselves), so they graduated with approximately 10K of student loan each, probably not a lot compared to other parts of the UK. I might have bunged them the odd £50 (without them asking) on the odd visit home, Personally, I don't think graduating with a reasonable student load is a problem, it showed them there was a price to pay for deferring entering the workforce; we discussed all the advantages and disadvantages of going to uni and when they opted for it they went into it with eyes open and aware there would be a cost to themselves as well as me. Hopefully, they will benefit over a lifetime of work.

AlanP_2

Our three all went to Uni, in England, so had tuition fees as well.

All 3 did it via the loan system with us contributing a small amount to supplement what they borrowed, what they earned during the holidays and 1k a year from their grandparents.

No way were they spending 20-25k a year excluding tuition, and from what they have said their friends weren't spending anything like that either.

For example all 3 said the £1k a year virtually covered their weekly food shopping bill (they worked on about £30 p/w for the 39 weeks). Eating out and takeaways on top but that was no more than once a week.

What was it being spent on as it sounds very high?

Dorian1958

Sorry for any confusion, £20-25k was the total amount for the whole of the degree, so cost to me personally about £5-6k per year.

MallyGirl

Unfortunately DD'd desire to be a vet means she is going to start working life with a massive loan balance. 5 or 6 years of £9k fees plus 5 or 6 years of £4.5k maintenance loan, both of which will have been accruing interest at 6% during the course. Add in the course requirement of a further 38 weeks of work experience to be done during the uni holidays, making getting a holiday job more challenging. We have told her not to stress and to think of it as a tax as she will never pay this off in the 30 years.
Shame we aren't Scottish. All my friends with European or Eire links have been getting dual passports for their kids to avoid the uni fees.

AlanP_2

Dorian1958 wrote: »

Sorry for any confusion, £20-25k was the total amount for the whole of the degree, so cost to me personally about £5-6k per year.

That makes sense, I just read it as per year.

bostonerimus

Dorian1958 wrote: »

Sorry for any confusion, £20-25k was the total amount for the whole of the degree, so cost to me personally about £5-6k per year.

From a US perspective UK tuition fees are negligible. I still think having to pay any fees is ridiculous, but I'm an old socialist when it comes to things like education and will always be grateful to the UK for allowing me to do a BSc and PhD without paying a penny in direct fees. I have a colleague with one child at Boston University and another at Northeastern. The fees add up to over $100k per year...and they are 4 year universities. They do get some scholarships, but they will also be paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans for many years.

ams25

bostonerimus wrote: »

From a US perspective UK tuition fees are negligible. I still think having to pay any fees is ridiculous, but I'm an old socialist when it comes to things like education and will always be grateful to the UK for allowing me to do a BSc and PhD without paying a penny in direct fees. I have a colleague with one child at Boston University and another at Northeastern. The fees add up to over $100k per year...and they are 4 year universities. They do get some scholarships, but they will also be paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans for many years.

In my view you have to consider the ROI really carefully...same applies to private schools here in the UK as well as universities here and more so in the US. Is paying...in many cases huge amounts...going to generate equivalent huge increases in earnings. They may in some cases, but I seriously question if they would in most. I know children that have been to expensive and mid priced private schools but ended up in very ordinary low paying jobs that in no way justified the expense. They would be far better off receiving the invested school fees money at 25 to cover a good size deposit on a property, which the jobs won't allow them to do. I know it also depends on the schools available and sometimes the poor choices may force parents to go down the private route, but as often its seems a default option.