Estranged father death and attempted theft

MissMoogle

My estranged father died recently. His sister asked if she could sort the funeral as she wanted to do something for him. My sister and I said yes, no problem. I said if anything became too time consuming, difficult etc to let me know and I would sort it.

The next thing I know my sister has received a call from my uncle. Who has not had anything to do with us for 28 years, never heard from him.

Turns out HE decided to take over the funeral without telling us. He then told my sister he would send her some paperwork to sign so he could sort the banking also. The paper he was sending would renounce our rights to the intestate estate. Obviously I said no.

After getting irate that I was even involved he asked if we would want to know if he found any bank accounts etc. We advised this was a must. He said the flat was empty, there were no personal possessions or papers etc.


Fast forward two weeks he advised he had found bank accounts (I'd already rung my dad's boss to find his bank and freeze the assets) and a pension and he would send it through.

There's £70000 of cash due. The bank advised my uncle had the details of it two days before he rang us to lie about there being no information. The pension also showed that not only had he been in contact with them, he'd told them he was legally entitled to the cash as next of kin. They'd even sent him the forms to draw the money down the day he rang us. But it needed avowing by a solicitor so he'd tried to get us sign our rights away so he could get it.

The "empty flat" had 9 bags of possessions in it that he's picked over and thrown the rest in his garage so by the time I got it, it was mouldy and had no personal things at all.


Then the uncle has the audacity to invoice me for his time. The time he spent running around trying to rob me, and arranging a funeral I didn't know he was involved with. I already gave him cash to cover the petrol to and from funeral home, the death certificates etc and extra.

Can he demand extra money given the above?? How would you handle it? Expenses were never discussed. I never knew he was involved. He's tried to rob us. But wants £280.:mad:

SevenOfNine

MissMoogle wrote: »

My estranged father died recently. His sister asked if she could sort the funeral as she wanted to do something for him. My sister and I said yes, no problem. I said if anything became too time consuming, difficult etc to let me know and I would sort it.

The next thing I know my sister has received a call from my uncle. Who has not had anything to do with us for 28 years, never heard from him.

Turns out HE decided to take over the funeral without telling us. He then told my sister he would send her some paperwork to sign so he could sort the banking also. The paper he was sending would renounce our rights to the intestate estate. Obviously I said no.

After getting irate that I was even involved he asked if we would want to know if he found any bank accounts etc. We advised this was a must. He said the flat was empty, there were no personal possessions or papers etc.


Fast forward two weeks he advised he had found bank accounts (I'd already rung my dad's boss to find his bank and freeze the assets) and a pension and he would send it through.

There's £70000 of cash due. The bank advised my uncle had the details of it two days before he rang us to lie about there being no information. The pension also showed that not only had he been in contact with them, he'd told them he was legally entitled to the cash as next of kin. They'd even sent him the forms to draw the money down the day he rang us. But it needed avowing by a solicitor so he'd tried to get us sign our rights away so he could get it.

The "empty flat" had 9 bags of possessions in it that he's picked over and thrown the rest in his garage so by the time I got it, it was mouldy and had no personal things at all.


Then the uncle has the audacity to invoice me for his time. The time he spent running around trying to rob me, and arranging a funeral I didn't know he was involved with. I already gave him cash to cover the petrol to and from funeral home, the death certificates etc and extra.

Can he demand extra money given the above?? How would you handle it? Expenses were never discussed. I never knew he was involved. He's tried to rob us. But wants £280.:mad:

Assuming there is no will.

Be quick & careful, uncle can achieve quite a lot if he has the death certificate. He's not started the Letters of Administration process has he? Might be best if you can find out, personally I'd be undertaking that myself (or you & sister) as quickly as possible before he finds a way to get himself into that position. Sign nothing for him. LoA isn't a difficult process, can be done on-line & loads of expertise on this forum to help you.

Have you made absolutely certain (confirming in writing) that the employer, pension provider & bank are aware your father has 2 adult children, & that uncle is not authorised to accept estate monies. Your dad's bank can have the funeral bill sent straight to them & it will be paid from his a/c (even if it's frozen, which hopefully it is). Though if uncle has arranged it, but not authorised to spend estate funds, he may well have to foot the bill (temporarily anyway) - others will be better placed to comment accurately on that.

TBH I'd probably get a solicitor to write to him instructing him to step back as you will be dealing with the estate from this point forwards, as his assistance was not requested.

At the moment YOU don't owe him any money, if anything it's the estate that does. Once YOU & your sister have wrapped that up you can consider his claim, when he provides proper accounts for his outlay, with receipts.

MissMoogle

Thank you,

I have froze bank, spoken to them and paid funeral directors and had the funds transferred into a holding account. They are the ones who advised me he had attempted contact days before notifying us he was even involved. They protected me immediately thank god.

Pension informed me he had passed my details along as another sibling...in order to put him on the same intestacy right level. My solicitor advised that is fraud and was wanting it reported, but I am reluctant.

All accounts and work knows I exist and am in control so are dealing with me directly. I've only just chased up all his accounts so haven't filed letters of administration yet. Should I/,can I do this now even though I haven't finished checking for debt?

Thank you, I will ask the solicitor to write the letter requesting proofs etc . It's only a small amount but it's the principle of it now. Paying someone for the time they took to try and steal things is just....galling.

Thank you for your help

Yorkshireman99

MissMoogle wrote: »

Thank you,

I have froze bank, spoken to them and paid funeral directors and had the funds transferred into a holding account. They are the ones who advised me he had attempted contact days before notifying us he was even involved. They protected me immediately thank god.

Pension informed me he had passed my details along as another sibling...in order to put him on the same intestacy right level. My solicitor advised that is fraud and was wanting it reported, but I am reluctant.

All accounts and work knows I exist and am in control so are dealing with me directly. I've only just chased up all his accounts so haven't filed letters of administration yet. Should I/,can I do this now even though I haven't finished checking for debt?

Thank you, I will ask the solicitor to write the letter requesting proofs etc . It's only a small amount but it's the principle of it now. Paying someone for the time they took to try and steal things is just....galling.

Thank you for your help

Follow the so;icitor’s advice and report it.

Savvy_Sue

Apart from anything else, a non-professional executor cannot charge for their time!

74jax

Is there a chance as you were estranged from your dad that your dad spoke to his brother and sister about you and what he wanted to happen should he die? Is there definately not a will? I'm hoping the uncle acted this way from conversations he had with brother, not from trying to be underhand....

However if there's no will and he know what he is doing.... Id be wondering what else he found in the belongings.

DUTR

74jax wrote: »

Is there a chance as you were estranged from your dad that your dad spoke to his brother and sister about you and what he wanted to happen should he die? Is there definately not a will? I'm hoping the uncle acted this way from conversations he had with brother, not from trying to be underhand....

However if there's no will and he know what he is doing.... Id be wondering what else he found in the belongings.

This indeed, many times we see absent Father, when we do not know (as often happens) that he was pushed right out.
The conversation could have been had along with a LTS perhaps.
Not everyone wishes to leave their estate or even part of it to offspring whether they were estranged or not.

SevenOfNine

DUTR wrote: »

Not everyone wishes to leave their estate or even part of it to offspring whether they were estranged or not.

True, but then they need a will to ensure the rules of intestacy don't come into play & their wishes go out the window!

Seems safe to assume there is no will or the sister of the deceased may not have been obliged to "ask" the offspring if she could organise the funeral, & the brother wouldn't be masquerading as offspring to get the pension fund released.