Do i have to pay the gift deposit back?

Keep_pedalling

pinkshoes wrote: »

It depends how the money was intended.

My parents "gifted" me and my ex £10k to buy our flat. It was a gift but I agreed with my ex that when we had the money we would pay it back.

Ultimately it was a gift for the purchase of a flat, and if/when we sold the flat we would pay it back.

We split up and when the flat was sold £10k was paid back to my parents.

If I were you I wouldn't want the money.

I am sure if you had 2 children to raise after that relationship ended the gift would still have been needed.

wesleyad

No point echoing what everyone else has said regarding the legality, but I would ask what the relationship was like with the father?

You mention a hard break up with his son, but when you were in need, the father stepped up, gave you some money to start you on the housing ladder.

So really I'd say it would be a poor choice to try to withhold his money (unless there's things going on we don't know about)

Keep_pedalling

wesleyad wrote: »

No point echoing what everyone else has said regarding the legality, but I would ask what the relationship was like with the father?

You mention a hard break up with his son, but when you were in need, the father stepped up, gave you some money to start you on the housing ladder.

So really I'd say it would be a poor choice to try to withhold his money (unless there's things going on we don't know about)

Once you make a gift it is no longer your money so the OP is not withholding anything. It is a marital asset and will be down to the courts to decide how it is split if the OP and her husband cannot come to a agreement between them. She has already been pushed into selling the family home but needs a higher percentage of the proceeds to provide accommodation for her and the 2 children not less.

wesleyad

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

Once you make a gift it is no longer your money so the OP is not withholding anything..

Legally I agree, but lets be honest, 90% of these gifts are loans they just cant be called that anymore due to the mortgage companies not accepting loaned deposits.

My MIL "gifted" us some of our deposit and at the time that meant the world to us, it allowed us to skip 2-3 years and get on the ladder. 2 Years later we repaid her and took her on her dream holiday to say thank you.

That's why I'm asking about the relationship with the father in law, if it was good and he did them a favour, why should he be suffering, rather than rewarded?

The marital split is for the courts to decide, clearly the OP should get more money and child support from the father.

davidmcn

wesleyad wrote: »

lets be honest, 90% of these gifts are loans

Are they? Where are you getting your figures from?

I would have thought a large proportion are just people effectively getting advance payments of their inheritance.

hazyjo

davidmcn wrote: »

Are they? Where are you getting your figures from?

I would have thought a large proportion are just people effectively getting advance payments of their inheritance.

Totally agree. Strange figure lol.

The OP has not made any indication that it was a loan, nor have they been paying it back, nor (it seems) planning to pay it back.

If the father had paid for a new roof for them, or gave money for an extension, would those saying 'morally pay it back' be saying the same thing?

It was a gift. I don't think there's any 'morally' about it. It's not like an engagement ring where I'd say yeah morally maybe give it back as the 'promise of marriage' is now off.

saajan_12

Agree, a gift is a gift, but it matters who the recipient was. The father could have gifted the money to son alone. The father isn't owed a gift to be returned, but the son can argue he and OP agreed a different split of ownership based on what they each contributed.

eg If son then contributes that plus half of mortgage payments, while OP only contributes half mortgage then the equitable split of proceeds would be Son gets deposit back and then rest split 50/50.

If they don't agree then this needs to be handled as part of divorce. However my point is the gift / loan argument doesn't necessarily affect OP's rightful share of proceeds.

hazyjo

saajan_12 wrote: »

Agree, a gift is a gift, but it matters who the recipient was. The father could have gifted the money to son alone. The father isn't owed a gift to be returned, but the son can argue he and OP agreed a different split of ownership based on what they each contributed.

No, he can't. They are married. Presuming more than 2/3 years, it won't matter who put what in. Especially as there are kids involved.


If the father gifted to son alone, there would be documented proof. He can't just change his mind lol.


If I gave money to my SIL and his wife as a deposit and they split up, I wouldn't dream of asking her for half that money back - especially if she was bringing up my (step)grandchildren!

whatdoyouthink...

Gifted is gifted.

Is the husband asking the OP to pay the money back because the split came about because she got with someone else, and he doesn't want her using "his dads" money to buy somewhere with the other person? Could understand the husband asking if this were the case, but you still don't need to pay him back as it was gifted...IF this was the situation though, I'd pay it back.