Pregnant with a new job

MunchOff · 4 February 2019 at 12:48AM

Catnip63 wrote: »

Well done OP on keeping your cool, not rising to the bait and sticking to the point of why you came on this forum- for advice not thinly veiled criticism of your decisions, which you've clearly made for reasons that are not the business of anyone here - good luck to you

Thank you hun, I have come here for advice, the situation I've got is as it is. Once I've got my plan sorted I'll be posting it here so anyone else searching hopefully will see it.

MunchOff · 14 May 2020 at 5:49PM

Hello all, to update...

You guys were 100% right on council housing. To add to the long list, you also have to be in the local area for 3 years with proof. So as a boat dweller, I esentially didn't have an address that was elligable. I had part of the money for the boat of my dreams, but was advised against it by literally every person who I spoke to it about.

I moved into a shared house, where I didn't have a gaurantor, so had to pay the deposit plus 6 months rent in one go, which pretty much cleared me out of all funds. I gave birth exactly on the day that I was supposed to and stayed with my dad for 3 weeks. The health visitor was happy with the set-up, the only issue was that the stairs were really steep, so I needed to crawl up with baby in sling as I was still a bit weak on my legs.

Came back to London, finally unpacked the last box, then during the heavy rain, our ceiling collapsed in two rooms after dripping for 3 weeks and the landlord didn't seem to care. Eventually I was part assisted to move house but most of it was me with a suitcase going back and forth between nappy changes for about 2-3 weeks. I'm now fully moved in.

Started back at work on month 9, childcare is £1500 a month, I earn around £2200, the goverments 80% of childcare doesn't go past approx £600, so far they've offered me zero haha.

I have spoken to the father... Despite my anxiety almost making me faint, we met in a public place, I kept my mum on a call on mute the whole time, who listened to the father explain that it's not the right time for him to have kids, especially with someone who won't get back together and be a family. Despite this, he actually offered some money towards childcare, which I have chosen not to tell gov.uk about as it's literally the only thing keeping me afloat and employeed. He has since spent time with my kiddo, and smiles at him, and I've even left him alone with the baby a few short times. I think maybe the agression was only towards me as he seems to be very gentle toward his only offspring, though I'm always erring on the side of caution.

With savings on COVID19 from no tranport or childcare costs, I now also have a buffer again which really eased my stress levels, so if something were to go wrong, my credit card is almost at zero, so I've a decent line of credit to fall back on.

Thank you to those who helped and offered resources, it WAS a learning curve. My plan was never to just use a baby as an excuse to not work, I've always had a job and always worked hard and always wanted a baby, I didn't choose the father to be, I was simply dismissive at my doctor advised prospects and accepted my lot in life. What a complete joy my baby is, he's such an amazing person to come into my life, I can't believe I've been this lucky.

Thank you to all XxX I hope you are all safe during this frightening time. x