Learning to live within my means

astrocytic_kitten

I’ve listed out all the clothes I’ve bought since May when it started creeping up and sufficiently scared myself out of the ‘want’ mindset (for now).

I was looking for black trousers, a couple of work tops in a breathable fabric, and a summer work dress. Instead I’ve managed to buy navy trousers (though a very dark navy which I’m thinking will just have to substitute for black for now), dark green trousers (bargain for the winter...but it’s july), a couple of dresses, and 3 tops (none of which fit the criteria of both work tops and natural fabrics)...I despair of myself sometimes!

I’m now skint till pay day, though I have enough for a couple of very small top up shops which is all I need really. The one silver lining I can find is that the debt hasn’t increased, and I’ve hopefully nipped it in the bud instead of getting the ‘sod its’ and having a second shopping spree.

So. Cheap activities for me for the rest of the month! I have a friend coming round tonight for a drink instead of meeting in a bar, and plan to spend the rest of the weekend curled up with cat and book, hopefully sitting in a patch of sunlight.

astrocytic_kitten

I’ve managed to avoid buying anything other than yoghurt, cheese and bread in the past week, and now have £11 till payday which is more than enough for food - just need some yoghurt and eggs really. Though contributions to work gifts will also need to come out of that (people leaving / having babies / getting married in the next week, I’ve been trying to budget for work gifts but a couple have taken me by surprise).

I think the biggest change for me so far is that when I’m getting to the end of the month and have overspent earlier I’m digging in and scraping through, instead of chucking a M&S food shop onto the credit card.

I’ve also set myself a challenge to read through the 240 (!!! :eek:) unread books on my kindle rather than buying more, and I’m now reading more which is really relaxing. And being open with my friends about trying to save money and finding free/cheap things to do has actually been really positive, so many of them have been enthusiastic about joining in that I wonder how long we’ve all been worrying about the amount we spend catching up over dinner but not wanting to be the one to say no!

Trying to focus on the positive changes, rather than the many areas I’m still failing in

astrocytic_kitten

Warning - self-congratulatory post ahead :rotfl:

This month I’ll have paid off 25% of the debt!! Just waiting for everything to clear before updating totals. Part of that was annual bonus so it’s not indicative of the next few months, but still very happy.

I got an email from YNAB last week telling me I’d been using it for 6 months - can’t quite believe I’ve tracked every penny for 6 months, have kept my future saving pots intact since the start of the year (used to regularly raid the presents fund at end of month) and haven’t increased debt this year. YNAB and the accountability from this diary has really been transformative. I’ve also managed to fund just over £1k of home repairs in that time from eBaying and trimming costs, rather than debt.

I know I’m still not out of the woods. And I’m definitely still a total mess on the wanting to buy all the clothes under the sun front It feels like my budget is running fairly smoothly now (touch wood), so maybe for the next 6 months I can try to get a grip on living with what I have, instead of convincing myself shiny new baubles will change my life.

One-step-at-a-time

Congrats on getting to 25%! I think every single milestone is worth celebrating - I give myself a pat on the back at reaching percentages paid and dipping under the next £1000

I got very drastic in my attitude to clothing in an attempt to stop the impulse buying, and set strict rules - 'one in, ten out' for buying anything new, and 'one in, five out' for buying from charity shops. I still stick to this (with the exception of replacing old underwear or completely worn out shoes), and it has made a massive, massive difference. I also used to be terrible for buying things without trying them on first, then leaving it too long to return them if they didn't fit. Clothes shopping is now far more deliberate and it's made me a lot more fussy; I've barely bought a thing in over a year now! I haven't quite managed to go a whole year with no clothes shopping but I do go months at a time now

astrocytic_kitten

Thanks One step! I hope to one day be like you with the clothes shopping :T At the moment I’m just constantly breaking whatever rules I put in place for myself.

astrocytic_kitten

At 25% paid! Still desperately dreaming of houses with gardens... and maybe a storage cupboard or two. I’ve been researching what’s out there, and even went as far as getting a couple of AIPs on mortgages to see what would be realistic with the current debt. I want to keep the payments low enough that I could go part time and still afford them, so I could actually afford to move now even with the debt, but realistically it’s much more sensible to stay put.

Despite knowing that, I now have a colour coded spreadsheet with all the possible options of equity from various possible sale prices, different mortgage interest rates, if I pay debt from equity or not, to see what is realistic within a monthly mortgage payment I’m comfortable with:rotfl:

If I moved I’d be diverting the current overpayments to an increased mortgage. DFD is currently Sep 2021, and if I moved it would extend out to April 2023. Or I could pay the debt out of the equity in my current place instead of putting it all towards deposit, but I have a feeling that’s frowned upon and considered consolidation...?

I have a little voice in the back of my mind which says if I’m going to move to a forever home I’d be better doing it now and getting 2 years ahead on the mortgage payments. Counteracted by head which points out that I might well lose my job if we enter recession (it is as safe as can be for now, but having been through the last recession while working in professional services I’m well aware that doesn’t mean much), and that while my health is stable now it isn’t likely to last and I’d be locking myself into needing to stay full time at current job for longer. Decisions, decisions...

And summer will be over soon enough, at which point I’ll stop thinking of gardens and start being grateful for my current cosy place. Well, either that or I’ll start dreaming of wood burners :rotfl:

astrocytic_kitten

Not the most MSE start to the week - needed deodorant so decided to pick some up at lunchtime, ended up buying some for £2 when picking up my repeat prescriptions despite knowing if I went into a few more shops one of them would be bound to have the same one for £1. And then impulse bought a couple of cereal bars thinking they’d be useful for after gym...and promptly ate them both as soon as I got back to my desk. And didn’t even use my advantage card for any of it :wall:

So. £3.49 spend when I only needed to spend £1, and I’m now going to try to get through the rest of the week without spending anything, just because I’m so annoyed at myself. Have a friend coming round later in the week that I’d normally get some snacks in for, but as I already have lots of drinks I’ll suggest she brings some snacks rather than a bottle.

Onwards and upwards!

astrocytic_kitten

Didn’t quite get through the week without spending, but did get through without spending anything not budgeted for - had forgotten I had an appointment for a hugely overdue haircut, and I needed some fruit & veg too.

Trying a new plan for the clothes overspending: I’ve been trying to run a separate pot for clothes in ynab, but just keeping the money in my normal account. So instead, I’ve opened a separate savings account for clothes and set up a standing order. Now I know this is not exactly a revolutionary idea, and I’m not overly optimistic this will be the solution that works when so many others haven’t, but you never know, it might!

Other than that, not much to report. It’s been quite a long and trying week and I can’t wait to go to bed and have a lovely long sleep. Plan to have a very lazy morning tomorrow curled up with kitties and books, have been waiting for it all week

astrocytic_kitten

Busy busy week at work, part of it working away. Found myself having a mooch around clothes shops one evening before heading back to hotel, but thankfully all the burnt oranges and warm browns and greens about at the moment don’t suit me at all so I survived.

Only unnecessary spend all week was £2.50 on a canvas bag for life I grabbed half price in a sale. My last really roomy bag like that was a casualty of an unfortunate washing incident, so I’m glad to have a nice big bag to get shopping home in again.

Still finding myself having itchy wanting to buy new clothes feelings, there is a dress I have an eye on which is about double the amount in my clothes pot. Partly I’ve put on a bit of weight so I’m feeling uncomfortable in a lot of my clothes, though they still fit. But a lot of it is to do with anxiety, I’ve always channeled free floating anxiety into thinking if I have a wardrobe I love and feel comfortable in things will be better. Never mind that no matter how much I buy it’s never enough. And that I’d keep stuff that wasn’t quite right, instead of holding out for things that were perfect.

I might write a list of the clothes I do actually have and love, to remind myself. Though first I need lots and lots of rest, have been pushing myself a bit too much lately and can feel myself teetering on the edge of a chronic illness flare up.

DebtFreeMonkey

Just had a read of your diary and congratulations on all the progress you have made! You're doing wonderful.

I'd consider really looking at why you feel the need to buy clothes and addressing that directly. You can make all the rules etc for yourself, which you seem to have done, but unless you try to remedy to the emotional/internal issues, I doubt they would work long term.

Not that this will work for you or anything, but for me, I spend a lot of time meditation and reading and trying to better myself/my mentality and it's paid dividends to my life. I decided a year or two ago that I'd wake up every day as happy and positive as I could be and, don't get me wrong, it doesn't always work, but aiming for it everyday makes a huge difference. From that, I don't feel so negative and down which is helpful, especially when I'm trying to dig myself out of the debt mess I got into.

But anyways, I shall be following your journey and look forward to seeing you reach your DFD!