Bullying in the workplace

jobbingmusician

Thank you, but I don't agree. I think the other posts have all outlined sensible and logical options, and I always assume that posts are written to be helpful (as I find that it's easy to misread posts and get paranoid). One thing I did think might be useful was signposted by z1a - trying to think of all the different ways to approach this. That's where I was coming from, really, I was trying to think of all the people involved and how they were affected by the situation. It must be affecting your colleagues as well, I would have thought - you mentioned that a couple would stick by you, so they are obviously aware.

jobbingmusician

tacpot12 wrote: »

I doubt the boss' wife will be able to provide evidence of constructive dismissal. A couple of impartial witnesses from the workplace would be better.

I don't understand why the boss and his bit on the side would be trying to discredit you? You have probably done something that suggests you are siding with the wife, or are supporting the wife when the husband doesn't want his wife to have any support.

I think you will have to choose between your friend and this job.

A hidden camera at work might provide some evidence of intimidation by the woman or lack or action by the boss, but it is only worthwhile going down this route if the company has a reasonable size and has a HR department.

No, I wasn't thinking that the boss's wife would be able to provide evidence of CD. I was thinking that she'd be useful at tribunal, to bear out a 'yes we've been friends for ages, and I did feel that I was being marginalised because I was friends with the boss's wife - I even discussed it with her and......' (the next bit obviously depends on what she says!)


A camera does sound like a good idea. I'm shocked that the woman 'used her body to push you'. This in itself could be seen as an assault, surely? Raising a grievance sounds like an excellent way forward!

And a word of caution - just supposing this woman ISN'T having an affair. Do make sure you can't be accused of spreading the gossip or acting on it. If the boss and the new worker see you as someone who has spread a false story or even manufactured it (or been sucked in by the wife's belief it's going on) it would to some way to explaining their behaviour.

(No, I don't think this is actually what's happening. I'm just trying to look at the picture from lots of different angles.)

theoretica

How big a company is it? If it is a small outfit run by the boss I can't see this ending well. If it is a large outfit with HR and policies about everything then you are in a slightly better position.

z1a

theoretica wrote: »

How big a company is it? If it is a small outfit run by the boss I can't see this ending well. If it is a large outfit with HR and policies about everything then you are in a slightly better position.

I get the impression it's a small concern, and her boss is THE boss.

Les79

Loopylynbin wrote: »

Jobs are hard to come by as it is, so who will pay by bills?

Hey OP, yea I'm sort of on your side with this one... Simply "resigning" is a good idea in one respect because you'll get out of that environment (and you might be able to claim constructive dismissal), but it doesn't answer the question of paying the bills each month especially when you've spent 12 years in this place and felt secure.


I think it would have been respectful had posters ALSO advised you to start seeking a new job, maybe even whilst lasting it out in this current job in the interim.


You are right not to rise up against them by the way. It does sound like they are trying to get you to react and stitch you up, so please try and refrain from doing so. Sticks and stones may break your bones... etc etc.


I would also say, and don't do this lightly, that if they end up assaulting you then potentially get the police involved. When you say "used her body to push me out the office door into the corridor" it may not be enough to warrant this but keep it in mind if they do anything worse physically.


Aside from that, maybe scope out the possibility of building bridges and "allying" with them a bit... Sounds like they are potentially dirty people BUT leave them to it!

System

It’s a large organisation that has offices all over the country, and yes I’ve contacted HR and put in a grievance.

After reading all your replies I have to say, all I did was calm my bosses wife down and nothing else, the whole of the workforce know about their affair and they started living together within a month of him leaving his wife and this woman had only been an employee for 1 Month.

lincroft1710

Loopylynbin wrote: »

It’s a large organisation that has offices all over the country, and yes I’ve contacted HR and put in a grievance.

After reading all your replies I have to say, all I did was calm my bosses wife down and nothing else, the whole of the workforce know about their affair and they started living together within a month of him leaving his wife and this woman had only been an employee for 1 Month.

Most of this should have been included in your first post as it is useful information which would have ensured some replies were more accurate.

System

lincroft1710 wrote: »

Most of this should have been included in your first post as it is useful information which would have ensured some replies were more accurate.

Sorry Lincroft, you’re right, I’ve never used a forum before, my apologies.

System

Does the boss own the company?

Comms69

Loopylynbin wrote: »

Hi all I hope you can help me.

A new employee started to work for our company just over 6 months ago, I thought she was lovely until I was told that she was having an affair with my boss who has been married for over 30 years, and I’ve known his wife for over 10 years and she is a good friend of mine. In a nutshell, his wife rang me in floods of tears asking me what this woman was like and was she prettier than her and all I said was, “you’re beautiful inside and out” and I calmed her down. Now my boss and this woman are trying to discredit my job, he also made this new woman a supervisor after only 3 months, everything I do is wrong now and I’ve been working for this company for 12 years and I’ve now gone from being a A1 employee to a F1 employee.

I’m 57 and I just want to run away from it all, they’re messing with my head and this woman even flew at me in the office screaming in my face and used her body to push me out the office door into the corridor, I think she wanted me to retaliate but I’m not a fighter and I didn’t argue back at her either, I just let her do it, my boss was in the office and he didn’t lift a finger to stop her.

I’ve taken them to grievance, cos I thought that with a grievance hanging over them that they’d stop with this torment and bullying, but it’s gotten worse.

I’m at my wits end, I can’t take this for much longer, and because 2 of my work colleagues have stood by me, they to are now being bullied as well. 😢

Lesson - never mix business and personal life.


See your grievance out and if you don't get anywhere; look for a new job.


As for being promoted to supervisor; nothing wrong with that.