School stress

AnotherJoe

You could start with getting her to read this thread.

theoretica

Fireflyaway wrote: »

The comment about the lack of clarity from the teachers is a great point. I did ask my daughter if the teacher explained how to do better (it was in an art lesson) and apparently she didn't. Other comments seem to be quite general to the whole class. I know in a recent test some students scored lower than expected so maybe it was a general reminder to everyone to try harder. I know for sure the teacher who made the comment about expecting more because its fee paying has only been in post 2 weeks.

I find that potentially illuminating. I was at a very academic school and observed the teachers of non-academic subjects felt we didn't think art or tennis were as important as other subjects, they didn't get the same effort and the teachers were not happy with this. They were quite right that they were generally getting lower effort.

goodwithsaving

I take issue with comments along the lines of "deal with the real world" because, let children be children. They grow up so quickly and have enough pressure from elsewhere without comments and whatnot adding to it. There is more to life than chasing grades.



I had many comments at secondary school where a high mark still wasn't good enough, or once you've achieved you seek more rather than enjoying what you have attained.
That still sticks with me now and is one of the triggers for depression which I suffer with. I still feel that nothing I do is good enough and that I fail regularly, even though I have done well for myself.


So, by all means treat it as a one off episode but do ensure she has praise and a life beyond school. Some children was sensitive, I certainly was, but some are also inherently critical of themselves and whilst it drives you in one way, it hinders in others.

Mojisola

Fireflyaway wrote: »

When I questioned my daughter it seems the comments have been made to the class in general, not her personally.

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

In that case, your DD needs to be more resilient, although I'd also feel that the teacher's comments weren't necessarily completely appropriate.

So it may be a new / inexperienced teacher who hasn't yet worked out how to get the best from students, so talking to your DD's tutor may be worthwhile, and she may have some insights for building resilience.

I'd second the above - use the comment as a learning experience for your daughter but also keep an eye on the tutor in case this is an example of a teacher who isn't managing or is concerned that her performance will be criticised if the children don't reach higher grades - there are better ways of improving performance than bringing the fees into it!