Looking at getting married in Zante in 2020. Looking for practical help/advise

Retireby40

So the couple should change their wishes and desires because either:

Family / friends don't want to spend the money or don't have it or they don't want to spend a week in the sun celebrating a huge good event and experience of a friend or family member.

If you always did what suits other people in life your never going to experience the things in life you want.

The couple should do what they want or dream of. Price the details and let everyone know this is what it costs we would like you to come but if you can't no problem. If it's only the 2 of them so be it but I'd like to think close friends and family could make the effort if they mean that much to them.

trailingspouse

We went to a wedding on Zante about 5 years ago. The Family rented three houses at not inconsiderable cost - it was fun, but expensive.



The couple have now split up.

Red-Squirrel_2

Retireby40 wrote: »

So the couple should change their wishes and desires because either:

Family / friends don't want to spend the money or don't have it or they don't want to spend a week in the sun celebrating a huge good event and experience of a friend or family member.

If you always did what suits other people in life your never going to experience the things in life you want.

The couple should do what they want or dream of. Price the details and let everyone know this is what it costs we would like you to come but if you can't no problem. If it's only the 2 of them so be it but I'd like to think close friends and family could make the effort if they mean that much to them.

The couple can do exactly what they want, and get married anywhere that suits them.

What they can't do is expect other people to dance to their tune and use their valuable money and time going to a wedding abroad.

If getting married in Zante is the priority, go and get married in Zante, just the two of you and enjoy.

If having family there is the priority then don't have your wedding in a different country several hours flight away!

unforeseen

No, the couple should have realistic expectations that not all the people they would like to be there won't be. And it could well be people who they really want there for one reason or another.

, I would never consider going somewhere abroad for a wedding that I would never consider as a holiday destination for myself. Total waste of hundreds of pounds just for a few hours at a wedding.

Pollycat

Retireby40 wrote: »

So the couple should change their wishes and desires because either:

Family / friends don't want to spend the money or don't have it or they don't want to spend a week in the sun celebrating a huge good event and experience of a friend or family member.

If you always did what suits other people in life your never going to experience the things in life you want.

The couple should do what they want or dream of. Price the details and let everyone know this is what it costs we would like you to come but if you can't no problem. If it's only the 2 of them so be it but I'd like to think close friends and family could make the effort if they mean that much to them.

No.
The couple shouldn't change their wishes and desires because it doesn't suit other people.

But neither should they expect other people to spend a not insignificant amount of money to attend someone else's wedding.

Really, regardless of how close a family member or friend it was, I'd wish them well and decline the invitation.
You clearly have a different opinion.
Neither of us is wrong.
Accept it.

Retireby40

Who's saying I'm not accepting people can have different opinions. I'm just sharing my views like yourself.

As I said the couple have to do what they want and accept who comes and who doesn't. One things for sure if my mother/father brother and two sisters who were given 18 months notice of the event if they said no we aren't coming I would be deeply upset. And I think most would feel the same.

Pollycat

Retireby40 wrote: »

Who's saying I'm not accepting people can have different opinions. I'm just sharing my views like yourself.

As I said the couple have to do what they want and accept who comes and who doesn't. One things for sure if my mother/father brother and two sisters who were given 18 months notice of the event if they said no we aren't coming I would be deeply upset. And I think most would feel the same.

OK.
So you're happy to put people in a position that they feel they have to attend your wedding or you'll throw a hissy fit...?
Nice. :cool: (not)

Red-Squirrel_2

Retireby40 wrote: »

Who's saying I'm not accepting people can have different opinions. I'm just sharing my views like yourself.

As I said the couple have to do what they want and accept who comes and who doesn't. One things for sure if my mother/father brother and two sisters who were given 18 months notice of the event if they said no we aren't coming I would be deeply upset. And I think most would feel the same.

Sorry, but you'd really be in the wrong there.

You really really can't spend other people's money for them like that, or put a big guilt trip on with such expectations. If you really want them there you have to make it more reasonable for them to get there, either by offering to pay for their travel or by making it easier.

A wedding is just one day, guests shouldn't be expected to save and plan for 18 months just to attend!

Going away to get married used to be called 'eloping' and the whole point of it was that it was just the couple who went.

Pollycat

There's nothing worse than a bridezilla and a groomzilla with expectations of their guests...

Gavin83

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I was under the impression that the guests would be paying for themselves.

Surely no one would be that downright selfish to book a wedding abroad, especially with no link to the country and expect their guests to pay to attend?

Retireby40 wrote: »

One things for sure if my mother/father brother and two sisters who were given 18 months notice of the event if they said no we aren't coming I would be deeply upset. And I think most would feel the same.

But surely you accept that this would be your fault and you don't really have a right to be angry with them? If you want people to attend your wedding have it in the UK. If you want it abroad fine, do so, but don't get upset with people for not attending. That's your choice.

Unless of course you'd be paying for your family to attend but I gather from the tone of your posts you wouldn't.