Buying ex out of property or selling house altogether?

soysauce1245

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I wonder if it's the fact that you plan to stay in the house that is making him dig his heels in? Perhaps he feels that he is continuing to fuel and sustain your dream.

In your shoes, what would I do? Without a doubt, I would sell, buy somewhere that has no horrid connections to him, broken dreams and unhappy memories.

Life with a clean slate is often a happier position to be in. Think too about how a future husband might feel at living in the place where so many hopes and plans revolved around the ex-partner and the lost love.

I suspect too that I would prefer to pay out £35k to have a final settlement, peace of mind and an end to the stress. Why not view the extra £10k as investing in your own future and wellbeing unless you actively prefer to be putting the same money into the bank account of your friendly neighbourhood solicitor?

Good luck.

This is so helpful. I agree that perhaps it is me getting the house that is making him say no. Whereas us selling and both buying our own places is probably more fair. You also make a good point about the extra money. I hadn't thought about it that way - if the legal fees cost a huge amount anyway then if he still refuses to sell after I threaten legal action, it will be easier to give him the money then go through the stress of court. You've made me see this in a different light. Thank you.

TBagpuss

Are / were you married?
If so, then if you have to take him to court, the court could order the property to be transferred to you (assuming you're able to remortgage to release him, which it sounds as though you are) but you would each normally pay your own costs.

If you aren't married, then you could apply under TOLATA and while the court can't technically order a transfer, if they order a sale and you offer the amount that the house is valued at, or slightly over whatever offer you get if the property is put on the market, there's no reason why you couldn't be the person who buys it.
If you apply because he refuses to cooperate with a sale then he might be ordered to pay your costs.

Selling has the advantage that you can move on.

I guess one issue is to consider how badly you want to keep the property, is staying put worth paying a bit more for, to you?
If you decide that staying put is what you want, then while you may pay more to your ex, you'll save on moving costs and the stress of selling and buying, so there might be some room for compromise.

For instance, he want's £10K more than his fair share. IS there any scope for you to offer, say, £130K, so he gets £5K more than his half share is worth, but you get to stay in the house you want and save whatever it would otherwise cost you to move?

If you decide that you don't want to stay, then it is simpler. sell, pay off the debt, and everything gets split down the middle, and if he is awkward, get proper legal advice with a view to forcing a sale and ensuring that you don't have any less than 50% , and that he pays the costs if he is awkward.

AnotherJoe

Sell it. Buy somewhere you can afford comfortably.



Whats Brexit got to do with anything. Come what may you'll be living somewhere before, during and after and so will everyone else in this country, so why bring that in?