Coming out of the shadows.....

fantasyvsreality

Hello,

A bit about me. In 2014 I had my lightbulb moment and added up 18k of debt. It was all mine. I was a successful self-employed business owner yet I felt compelled to impress others with nice clothes, holidays and things for the house as underneath my success I felt no one would like or notice me if I wasn't perfect.

When I had my lightbulb moment I came lurking here to find solidarity in others who were struggling with debt and to get some great advice too. Over a period of 2 years I paid off my debt (I was earning really good money) through selling loads of stuff, working long hours and a complete turnaround in my attitude to money. I went from being a spendaholic to a complete tightwad. :rotfl:

The following two years I turned the debt busting to mortgage busting and we are now 8k off being mortgage free. I wanted to start a diary so that I would keep on the straight and narrow and hopefully save some money as we have a big job that needs doing on our property in the next few years which will cost dear. I have noticed that the closer I get to being mortgage free the harder it has been to stay focused. I have been a bit spendy these last few months and I fear self-sabotage.

I also want to start improving my confidence through hobbies. I am appear to others as a confident woman at work but the truth is I am actually very shy and a terrible hermit. Sadly I don't have children and waste a lot of time hiding away. I am going to do a few arty work shops this Spring and because I like running sign up to a few races.

I have enjoyed reading so many diaries and love how supportive everyone is. Even the simple details of peoples lives is strangely comforting - that sounds odd but hopefully you get what I mean. Thanks for reading.

doingitanyway

Hello FvR

I know what you mean about becoming MF. I had a wobble approaching DF and MF status. I think for me it was about everything being possible and too many choices. I was pleased but it forced me to think about what I truly wanted and the excuses were gone.

That said I am pleased I was able to do it and feel less stressed now.

I wish you well and I will be cheering you on

fantasyvsreality

Thank you DIA, yours was one of the diaries I have loved reading so it made me smile when I saw your had replied. I must admit that earlier in the year when I realised we would be mortgage free by 2020 it felt like a strange anti-climax. Like the journey to get there was more exciting than the destination! I know there will always be things to save for and that is why I need to stay focused. I'd like to have some savings too as everything gets thrown at the mortgage now. I also want to reduce my self-employed hours down as my job is physically very tiring and at 46 my body is feels a bit knackered out.

fantasyvsreality

Had a good day today, been keeping busy with a bit of work in the garden. I posted a jacket for sale on eBay. I was going to take it to charity but realised that even if I only get a tenner for it it will be worth having!! I have a bad habit of taking stuff to charity shops as I when I want rid of something I just want it gone. When I started my debt free journey I also became very interested in minimalism and noticed that while I was selling stuff to clear debt, I felt so much better owning less stuff and clearing out clutter.

Tomorrow I have a day off so need to watch my spending when I go to visit the city. I'm a bit obsessed with candles and bath foam at the moment :rotfl: So need to watch that I don't indulge myself on a whim. I have a habit of finding something I love, then behaving like an apocalypse is coming and stocking up prepper style.

System

Are you talking about me , bath foam and candles my two weaknesses. Not any candles either , not a fan of Yankee . Neom , Archipelagos, Diptyque to name but a few. Bath stuff I like any sort really.

Well done on everything you have achieved so far, being MF will be great.

Look forward to following.

fantasyvsreality

Cumbria Lass! We have been without a bath for 4 years - don't worry we had a wet room so not completely stinky peeps. Now the bath has been put in circa December last, I am obsessing about nice fragranced candles and bath oils. Like you I don't like synthetic stuff. There's a lovely candle company that make candles with profits going towards helping the bees. The etched glass holders they come in are gorgeous. With flowers, and bees and a wren.......Oh my!

[Deleted User]

Good luck on your journey x

fantasyvsreality

Went to the city yesterday. Started the day well by cancelling an order I had made whilst a bit tipsy over Christmas. So I arrived in the city full of good intentions. I was with a friend and had about an hour to kill before we went for coffee.....Managed to stop myself buying a £30 candle in John Lewis despite lingering and sniffing like a nut job for a good 20mins. As I made my way back to meet with my friend I went into a little independent shop and spotted some homemade candles for £7 each. When faced with something I want I go to great lengths to talk myself down or ask myself why do I want this? It works very well with clothes as I often have a fantasy of where I'll be wearing it (a tea party or wild night out) when the reality is I am too avoidant of social stituations to do anything exciting. I did buckle and buy two candles at £14. I bought one for my sister-in-law and one for me. I burned one last night and it was crap :rotfl: So I will treat myself next month to one that gets good reviews.

The candle thing is bourne out of a month off the grog, I feel the need for soothing. We have recently had a bath fitted and I had forgotten how much pleasure can be found in a hot bath full of wonderful smells and candles. I've done 12 days now alcohol free and my skin is glowing. I'm hoping to manage another couple of weeks. Hope everyone is having a good week so far.

efes_shareholder

Just popping in to say Hi

I'm not allowed to bath for a month following the procedure but your posts about having some lovely candles going whilst you relax makes me want a pool of bubbles even more then I do at the moment

fantasyvsreality

Hey efes, crap that you can't have a bath. Though I understand why you can't it would be nice to soothe yourself especially after the procedure you've been through. I'm craving a bath everynight at the moment! Our water bill and gas will be through the roof at this rate. Boozing might be cheaper

efes_shareholder

Try wine in the bath - I can assure you that works !!