Wedding Speech Help Bestwoman

KayleighTwyman

Hi, this isn't money related but I didn't know where else to go! I hope you all don't mind. I am best woman for my best friend's wedding in February. I am so nervous about the whole day but I hate public speaking so the speech is kinda bothering me. I have never spoken in public before neither wrote a speech and I don't really have anyone I can show so I don't know if it's ok. I wanted to do something a little different so I've tried to rhyme it throughout, kinda like a poem. I've tried to not be too soppy. It reads for around 5 minutes. I am just looking for some feedback, any at all would be highly appreciated. If there are any bits I need to change, if it sounds too much or seems like I'm just drivelling on etc please tell me. With it rhyming it was quite a struggle in places and so some sentences are quite short or I've used words I wouldn't usually - I just don't want it to sound 'simple' or 'short' in places etc. There will be a short introduction beforehand.
Here it is:
This is your special day
So I needed a speech that would signify it in a special way
For it being such a memorable time
I thought I'd do this speech in rhyme
In order for me to focus on what I am saying
As silently my brain is praying
That I get through this speech without stuttering one word
Because me? public speaking? now that's absurd.
So please excuse my obvious nerves

Now let's focus on the bride come groom
But let's just take a minute before I resume
To look at Anna, Laura's beautiful wife
The one she is going to treasure for all her life
I am sure you will all agree that Anna looks stunning
And that they both look great together
As together is where they are supposed to be forever

Now a bit about me and my dearest friend
The one who has put me in this awkard speaking position
But nontheless I honour her decision
I met Laura at Busy Bees
A friendship that blossomed as if from seeds
Working together means a lot of time is spent with each other
We bicker, we argue even fight like brothers
Other people don't understand but that's just the way we get along
And through it all our friendship remains strong
So forget what people say as we get along in our own special way
A way that bought me here being bestwoman today

We've shared many memories and now to name a few
Like the time Laura was so drunk on my arm she did spew
Or like the time in public her trousers came all the way down
And she just stood there casually looking like a clown
That's what i like about you Laura - the fact you don't care
Your in it for the fun and the moments that we share
So we are celebrating the love between you and your wife
But also our amazing friendship which will stay strong through life

Some days Laura calls me a !!!! and other days she calls me smart
But regardless of the day, I love my bestfriend with all my heart,
At times we can both act like spoilt brats
But really we just love being childish !!!!!
Making the most of every moment
Finding a joke to be had in any situation that presents
Like the time we got chased by hill billies on a dark country lane
Our lives could of been in jeopardy but instead we laughed until we felt pain
Despite the fact we got pushed aside by a tractor, a chance we didnt stand in the little fiesta
Or the time we nearly got ran off the road on the A38
But again we found humour in our nearly ill fate
In tenerife where we spent 8 days
Going down the big slide I was so afraid
But Laura gave me courage
Not by being kind and supportive
But by saying shut up and just do it
Stop being a wuss
Or I'm just gonna push you if you kick up a fuss

There are many memories that I could go through
But time is limited so I've just named a few
So forgetting the memories for now that we share
And remembering the one thing that will always be true
Is that I will always be here for you

Laura has taught me many things,
Most importantly how football teams win,
Penalties, red cards and the offside rule,
I've had to endure it all,
When she's sat on the sofa shouting come on you reds,
I'm sat there beside her feeling her pride,
Eventhough I don't understand football - but trust me I've tried,
When watching football Laura's in her prime,
Unless Forest haven't scored by half time,
But when that goal hits,
Laura runs around the living room having a fit,
and it's usually me that she hits
(out of joy of course)

So as Anna knows, Laura is one amazing person in many different ways
Perfect to Anna, I'm sure in every single way
Even on her bad days together I am sure they will stay
We all know Laura to be fun loving, kind and funny
But joking aside she can sometimes be one unhappy bunny
So Anna watch out for the temper outbursts
Because quite often her fuse grows short
Trust me I know first hand as in many of her tantrums I have been caught
But obviously love is blind and nobody is perfect
So this personality trait is just something to accept
The love between you two is real,
Something nobody else can feel,
So continue to love each other till the very end
Words from the heart that I do sincerely send
Because you my friends, deserve the very best
The love you have is treasure that can be found in no chest

Today is just a day but no doubt it is the start of something new
A new era of love, happiness and memories created around both of you
Hold onto that dream
Because surley someone so beautiful, understanding, intelligent and kind
Can only come along once in a lifetime
So thank you to both sets of parents for how you have raised them
Two beautiful people I am so glad I have met
Whose kindness and friendship I will never forget
I wish you a lifetime of wonderful moments
Love, memories and endless devotion

Now that's enough public speaking to last me a lifetime
Laura I hope I have done you proud
As out of everyone you know how I crumble under pressure
Some of these words forever I hope you treasure

Now you can all see I am running out of rhyming words to use
So this situation I will now diffuse
Thank you to you all, for listening to me ramble on
I hope I haven't taken too long
So let's clear this up and get the party started
But first a toast to the bride and bride
One which is fully whole hearted
So raise those glasses, pour that wine
As this marks the end of my bestwoman's rhyme

gettingtheresometime

Its a little Laura centric - don't you have any stories that demonstrates how good they are as a couple?

Hate the word spew btw and do you need to recant how her trousers were down around her ankles & how she's a moody mare?

I know writing a speech is daunting but this doesn't hit the spot for me unfortunately

hazyjo

Sounds like you need a separate conversation with your friend re the fact she's been a bit of a moody cow and peed you off many times! Not sure their wedding is the place to tell her.

Lines like:

"So Anna watch out for the temper outbursts
Because quite often her fuse grows short
Trust me I know first hand as in many of her tantrums I have been caught
But obviously love is blind and nobody is perfect
So this personality trait is just something to accept"

are IMO definitely not appropriate. Sorry!

I would also be changing your username if real. Not ever a good idea on forums!

KayleighTwyman

Thank you for your reply. I do honestly appreciate your feedback as it's hard when writing it to see it from other people's perspectives. I'll definitely try and make it less harsh.
I am fulfilling what would usually be the best man role for the groom and 'Laura' is the groom so I tried to follow what it said online about it not being too heart felt, light insults etc. They know that I have about her moods in there as we joke about it all the time and we have a very 'brotherly' type relationship. I am worried about that section now though so I will definitely re look at that part.
It's just hard being a bestwoman for a marriage between two women when writing what should be the best man speech as obviously they usually include rude jokes etc which are more appropriate for men.

seashore22

No one needs to be rude to the object of their speech. Not in a best man's speech or any other speech come to that. (Obviously you can be rude about some people in a speech, but save it for the people who you really don't like or who deserve it, not a best friend.)

This is a marriage between two women with a female "best man", so the least you can do is knock the nasty traditions on the head and ditch the "banter".

Not knowing Laura myself I have to say that you aren't doing her any favours. Listening to your speech I would say that she's not a very nice person. Is that the image you wish to convey?

trailingspouse

I haven't read the whole poem, sorry, too long. But I wonder if a poem is really the way to go? You say you've never made a speech, and to be frank (and I'm really sorry for being harsh) I don't think you've ever written a poem before? Putting the two together could be a recipe for disaster.



The role of a Best Person is to be witty. Poke a little bit of fun towards the couple, give everyone a bit of a laugh - a couple of funny stories about Laura from her past, how the two of them met, that sort of thing.



First rule - if you can't think of something nice to say, don't say anything at all. You're breaking a lot of 'traditional' barriers - so think hard about what you actually want to say rather than what the guidance books tell you to say. We're at a very interesting and exciting time, where things that used to be written in stone no longer are - and you're part of it. Re-write the rule book. And the poem.

jackieblack

trailingspouse wrote: »

I haven't read the whole poem, sorry, too long.

Same, sorry, too long and no ‘flow’

Honestly...?
If I was a guest listening to that being read I’d have tuned out by the middle of the third verse...

My advice:
Keep it short and heartfelt/honest (but not mushy)

- How great they both are
- How happy you are that they’ve each found that person that makes them happy
- Hope they have a wonderful life together

Just simple and honest
Not contrived

And lastly, people trying to be funny in a speech rarely are.
Trying too hard never results in anything good.

Good luck

Red-Squirrel_2

Think about who is your funniest friend or family member, the one who can make everybody laugh regularly, who is quick with a one liner, and go and ask them for help in turning your thoughts and memories into something that might provoke a chuckle.

Also, look at toastmasters for advice, there might even be a group that meets near you:
https://www.toastmasters.org/resources/public-speaking-tips

chesky

It's too long. Most people just want the speeches over with and get on with the talking, eating, drinking, dancing. There's nothing worse than having to sit and listen to someone who's obviously nervous and trying too hard. It usually makes for everyone feeling slightly uncomfortable and trying to hide it.

z1a

Far too long, guests will start trying to talk to each other long before the end.

gettingtheresometime

seashore22 wrote: »

No one needs to be rude to the object of their speech. Not in a best man's speech or any other speech come to that. (Obviously you can be rude about some people in a speech, but save it for the people who you really don't like or who deserve it, not a best friend.)

This is a marriage between two women with a female "best man", so the least you can do is knock the nasty traditions on the head and ditch the "banter".

Not knowing Laura myself I have to say that you aren't doing her any favours. Listening to your speech I would say that she's not a very nice person. Is that the image you wish to convey?

The other thing the OP has to remember is that comedy is very subjective - what one person finds funny others may find offensive and that's why in these situations humour is best avoided