Really need some advice please

vultura

My mum recently suffered a massive stroke three weeks ago and is currently hospitalised.

Her mail has been building since then and this week my dad took some of the post into the hospital for her to sort out. He has brought it back, some to be shredded, some for recycling bin and some to be filed. Most of which he has asked me to check over in case anything needs attending to.

Good job he has not read them himself, as I have found credit and store card debts amounting to £30k.

Given that she is on a pension and in her seventies I cannot see how all this debt can be cleared.

Something will need to be done, but what exactly.... I cannot tell my dad, as it would worry him greatly, he has enough to cope with right now and would not understand the issues. In the event of my mums death would we be liable for her debts or are we protected in some way?

Thanks in advance.

Edit: Sorry if I have posted this in wrong place.

Triker

Are you sure they are her debts and she hadn't had her identity stolen? Just a thought if you can't see where or what the money was spent on.

vultura

Triker wrote: »

Are you sure they are her debts and she hadn't had her identity stolen? Just a thought if you can't see where or what the money was spent on.

Doubtful. My guess it has been building for years. Transactions on the statements are with companies she deals with for sure.

Edit: She has always destroyed her statements after checking them, so little chance of any being left around that I could use to build some kind of history from.

Triker

Mmmm bit of a tricky one I think because in order to negotiate with them you need your mum's permission maybe even power of attorney.

Have you tried CAB or even Age concern? They may be best to advise given the circumstances.

vultura

Triker wrote: »

Mmmm bit of a tricky one I think because in order to negotiate with them you need your mum's permission maybe even power of attorney.

Have you tried CAB or even Age concern? They may be best to advise given the circumstances.

Had thought of CAB, but local one is only open a few hours per week. I might well speak to them asap, but still interested in what others here can advise.

Triker

Found this, dunno if any use

http://www.ageconcern.org.uk/AgeConcern/Documents/IS23DealingwithdebtApr2007.pdf

Jenna

I'm sorry to hear your Mum's poorly, I hope she gets well soon

If she's checked over the mail herself I guess she must be aware of the existence of the debt ... but sometimes elderly people (my OH's Mum for one) seem to be quite capable of just "sweeping it under the carpet" and ignoring the existence of money troubles.

I would suggest having a cuppa and a nice relaxing bubble bath or something similar tonight. It may sound frivolous but given all that's happening lately with your Mum being ill and things, it can be really exhausting and emotionally draining, and that can make even bad problems seem a lot worse than they are in the cold light of day, with a good night's sleep behind you, if you see what I mean?

There may be PPI on the loans which may or may not (depending on the policy) pay out in full / part, should the worst happen. There might also be a possibility she could take this out on some of the biggers ones? I don't really know how it all works and I think it's something you'd benefit from proper advice on (not my ramblings! heh) so it could be a good idea to talk to your local CAB - maybe give them a call on Monday?

When she's feeling better, it may be that you can sit down and talk to her about it, with the benefit of the CAB's advice (if she's a very private person about money, don't tell her you went! But just say you saw the letters and want to help). If you two are quite close this would obviously be better! There'll be a way through it and this can be sorted so don't panic, we're all about if you need a chat

bridget81

i know this is not going to help with the loans or store cards but its just a thought.
does your mum get any other benefits or does she just get her pension?
with her having a stroke she may be entitiled to other benefits, age concern in certain areas do benefit checks along with local welfare rights offices.
i know it doesnt resolve the debts but she could be entitled to more than just her pension which she can use to pay towards the debt.

just a suggestion.
Hope all of you are as well as can be given the circumstances and i agree with previous poster to have a relaxing bath and take some time out for yourself as you dot want to burn yourself out.

fletch3163

Get your Mum to sign a letter giving you permission to talk to each company on her behalf. It's not as strong as a POA but most probably will help. This way you'll be able to write to each company and at least get a handle on the size of the problem. Ask them the question also re liability in the event of her death. Sorry if that's too blunt, no upset meant.

Finally, perhaps the strain of this huge debt has contributed to her sad state of health. Once she gets you you should enquire about a possible carer's allowance for her.

I wish your Mum a speedy recovery and you the strength to deal with your dilemmas

doodledo_2

Sorry to hear your mum is unwell, I wish her a speedy recovery.

I'm sorry I don't know the answer to your questions think the best thing would be to speak to CAB.

Good luck.

bathgatebuyer

Sorry, I can't offer any advice, but when my Dad was ill, I ahd the job od dealing with all his financial affairs and it wasn't easy. I wish your Mum a speedy recovery and hope that you can get the chance to take time for yourself in all this.