Funding wedding advice

CatLady13

Malthusian wrote: »

Decide what you want your wedding to have and then work out what that will cost, don't work out how much money you think you can throw away and then think about what to spend it on.

This is one of the happiest days of your lives, not a government spending plan.

^^ this

Do not compare other weddings, make it your own, get creative! Have a small registry office ceremony and then hire a field and some marquees, let people camp out for the night. You do not have to do what everyone else does and if you make your wedding different then people are more likely to remember yours than all the other traditional weddings. You will probably have far less stress too.

Just do not get caught up in all the hype, £20k is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a wedding unless you are rich enough that £20k is small change to you. Think sensibly about whether you will one day look back and regret spending all that money on one day in your life when it could have been better spent elsewhere. But if it is what you want then make sure you do set realistic goals and timeframes for it as you do not want to be falling out before you even get married (weddings can be very stressful!).

Most of all, good luck with whatever you do and congratulations :beer:

Nasqueron

The people you have talked to spent 20k because they didn't budget properly and chose lavish champagne celebrations, most likely on a prosecco or even beer budget. You do not need to spend 20k, just repeat that to yourself over and over.


You are sacrificing having a good time, pension saving, house saving etc for a single day that will be forgotten in weeks.


You'll find an awful lot of stories of marriages starting in misery and leading to arguments or divorces because the couple spent a fortune on the wedding and didn't realise how much it would cost and how much they would have to cut back on their lives.


Look at your current budget and how much you can save without making cutbacks that will cause arguments. THAT x20 months is your wedding budget. Plan around that.

kidmugsy

Passiveincome wrote: »

Wanted to get some advice on the best way to put together the wedding fund. ... Target is 20k and have ~18 months

Ideally want to continue investment per normal and not take out of ISAs or current investments (if possible).

Considering cutting down on pension contributions temporarily - currently (6% match and I add another 4%, so 16% in total).

Also doing overpayments on mortgage to get it paid off earlier. Considering slowing down for wedding fund.

(i) Stop overpaying mortgage. If interest on loan cheap, check whether you can borrow back the overpayments you've made already.

(ii) If the discretionary 4% on the pension gets only basic rate relief and if it's not by salary sacrifice, stop it.

(iii) Move investment money into cash in case you need it.

(iv) Don't pay £20k. Ours must have cost us about a £100 and we don't regret that. Housing, children, and so on cost a lot and will give you far more lasting satisfaction than a splurge. If you really want to economise, elope.

MaxiRobriguez

Nasqueron wrote: »

The people you have talked to spent 20k because they didn't budget properly and chose lavish champagne celebrations.

I'm getting married in April and the bill is coming out to £24k. We're having an 'average' wedding and we're absolutely not lavishly spending without thinking about it. Unfortunately if you're purchasing something wedding related prices have spiraled in the last 15-20 years and many on here wouldn't understand unless they're actively involved with planning their children's wedding. I find it utterly disgusting and would quite happily have had a small pub gathering but the missus to be wanted a private hire and just by making that jump it takes you to minimum £20k we found.

To the op: If you think you're going to spend £20k, add 33%, and then add 10% inflation by the time you get there. Also, considering you're planning on getting married in 18 months then you won't want your money in investments, you'll want it in safe holdings. In your scenario you seem to have three choices, either go for a cheaper wedding, delay the wedding until you can afford what you want or use a cheap loan to bridge the gap but do so knowing the cost of that.

Every older person I've spoken to who've been married for years says it's not about the venue or the flowers or the meal or whatever, it's about family and friends celebrating. I wish my partner would listen to them!

Nasqueron

MaxiRobriguez wrote: »

I'm getting married in April and the bill is coming out to £24k. We're having an 'average' wedding and we're absolutely not lavishly spending without thinking about it. Unfortunately if you're purchasing something wedding related prices have spiraled in the last 15-20 years and many on here wouldn't understand unless they're actively involved with planning their children's wedding. I find it utterly disgusting and would quite happily have had a small pub gathering but the missus to be wanted a private hire and just by making that jump it takes you to minimum £20k we found.

To the op: If you think you're going to spend £20k, add 33%, and then add 10% inflation by the time you get there. Also, considering you're planning on getting married in 18 months then you won't want your money in investments, you'll want it in safe holdings. In your scenario you seem to have three choices, either go for a cheaper wedding, delay the wedding until you can afford what you want or use a cheap loan to bridge the gap but do so knowing the cost of that.

Every older person I've spoken to who've been married for years says it's not about the venue or the flowers or the meal or whatever, it's about family and friends celebrating. I wish my partner would listen to them!

You've allowed her to talk you into lavish spending without realising it or stopping it. Absolutely using wedding venue/private hire is going to make it expensive but these are lavish choices, not average, not money saving.


The wedding sub forum has tips for people having celebrations with family and friends which aren't done for 24k or even 20k - people contributing food rather than gifts for example, using a church hall rather than a hotel - there are hundreds of ways of saving money and having a lovely event that doesn't come close to spending that much.

Alexland

MaxiRobriguez wrote: »

I'm getting married in April and the bill is coming out to £24k. We're having an 'average' wedding and we're absolutely not lavishly spending without thinking about it. Unfortunately if you're purchasing something wedding related prices have spiraled in the last 15-20 years and many on here wouldn't understand unless they're actively involved with planning their children's wedding.

Our church wedding, pub meal & reception (including free bar tab that lasted all night) and long distance all inclusive honeymoon cost around £10k about 5 years ago.

The wedding dress was direct from China, the flowers were direct from Holland (the bridesmaids made them up the day before), the printing was done by an eBay trader and the photographer was related to someone at work. My wife made the cake.

Some things were bought on ebay then resold afterwards (eg the morning suit coat, cake stand, etc) and other things I used up as workwear (the shoes, shirt, trousers, etc).

We didn't really have to save as the money was committed over 6 months from normal income.

Alex

MaxiRobriguez

Alexland wrote: »

Our church wedding, pub meal & reception (including free bar tab that lasted all night) and long distance all inclusive honeymoon cost around £10k about 5 years ago.

The wedding dress was direct from China, the flowers were direct from Holland (the bridesmaids made them up the day before), the printing was done by an eBay trader and the photographer was related to someone at work. My wife made the cake.

Some things were bought on ebay then resold afterwards (eg the morning suit coat, cake stand, etc) and other things I used up as workwear (the shoes, shirt, trousers, etc).

We didn't really have to save as the money was committed over 6 months from normal income.

Alex

That's a lot of money despite going down the cheaper route, 5 years ago.

I'm not saying you can't do it for less, but a typical wedding non-DIY wedding likely starts at £20k and is evident in the average cost of a wedding which is now around £28k apparently.

MaxiRobriguez

Nasqueron wrote: »

You've allowed her to talk you into lavish spending without realising it or stopping it. Absolutely using wedding venue/private hire is going to make it expensive but these are lavish choices, not average, not money saving.

Oh, I've realised it, I don't like it, but I'm not convinced either our choices have been lavish. We could have spent so much more and most of our friends have. The problem is anything wedding related instantly makes everything more expensive than it should be.

Our private hire venue was at the cheaper end of the private hire venues, food is a BBQ rather 3 course, drinks we are sorting ourselves. Dress was definitely at the cheaper. We spent a bit more on the photographer because they're memories to keep forever.

We walked away from a venue that said they'd charge us £400 to light the candles.

Alexland

MaxiRobriguez wrote: »

That's a lot of money despite going down the cheaper route, 5 years ago.

The honeymoon was around 25% of the budget and the free bar bill was the longest receipt ever!

We already owned a property each so £10k wasn't going to set us back in life.

Alex

Zanderman

MaxiRobriguez wrote: »

Oh, I've realised it, I don't like it, but I'm not convinced either our choices have been lavish. We could have spent so much more and most of our friends have. The problem is anything wedding related instantly makes everything more expensive than it should be.

Our private hire venue was at the cheaper end of the private hire venues, food is a BBQ rather 3 course, drinks we are sorting ourselves. Dress was definitely at the cheaper. We spent a bit more on the photographer because they're memories to keep forever.

We walked away from a venue that said they'd charge us £400 to light the candles.

Good grief! No one should be spending that much on a wedding - and anyone who does is just falling for the marketing and hype of the venues. You can say it's the norm because all your friends did it all you like, but just because they did doesn't mean you should.

The OP's estimate of £20k was bad enough, without being told it should be more! And you think you're not being lavish? Where has people's sense of proportion on these things gone in recent years?

It's just a wedding! One day!! That £20k would be a deposit on a house - vastly more important for the rest of your lives than a costly private venue with all the trimmings you are brainwashed into thinking are needed. You're just lining the pockets of the wedding industry - they're the winners of your wedding day, not you.

My own wedding, less than 10 years ago, cost less than £200. Registry office and minimal guests. That is, of course, the opposite extreme! But there's a lot of space between £200 and £20,000.

Make it memorable OP, make it different, and as someone else has already suggested, one really good way to do that is to go off-piste in your thinking, and that can make it cheap too.