leaving job with no job to go to

TELLIT01

iammumtoone wrote: »

The only reason I am reluctant to apply for DLA is he wouldn't get it as the school say no issues so won't be supportive of any claim, which I know is needed.

Although support from the school would certainly be helpful, they only see him for about 30 hours per week and can't know how he behaves the rest of the time. If you aren't doing so already, I would suggest keeping a diary of his actions in order to give more solid support for a DLA/PIP application. Do not be put off by other people saying he won't get it. None of us know whether a claim would be successful or not.

KxMx

Only the DWP know if the claim would be successful.

Overt behaviour is not the only factor in whether or not he copes at school.

I'd suggest school refusal, snapping all items in his pencil case and toileting issues while there (IIRC you've posted about that before) all show he is in fact not fine at school, despite what they may say.

iammumtoone

KxMx wrote: »

I'd suggest school refusal, snapping all items in his pencil case and toileting issues while there (IIRC you've posted about that before) all show he is in fact not fine at school, despite what they may say.

The problem is as the school don't see it (he is VERY good at covering up outside the home), there is no evidence of this only my word for it!


I can see the DWP point on this anyone could say anything about their child's behaviour in the home and claim, it there doesn't have to be evidence of it (apart from the parents word) then whats to stop everyone claiming.

KxMx

Well perhaps you've discussed these things with his psychologist and he could then mention them in a letter outlining his difficulties. Maybe suggest reasons why he is not acting out overtly at school but is doing it at home instead.

Your son has diagnosed ADHD, anxiety and is being assessed for ASD. He sees a psychologist.

Those things carry weight.

At the end of the day it's your decision, I think you should stop worrying about everyone else or what the DWP will think, and just apply for the support that could make life easier for yourself and your son.

[Deleted User]

I have had years of being told (with both sons) that one thing or another (support related) wasn't possible because my son (s) were coping. Schools, in particular, because of a lack of knowledge of autism seem to have a mental block as to cause and effect, even if you explain it, and the same thing happens again (with a different outcome if they recognised a stressor and anticipated it).

For example, my younger son is only attending school part time, a draft EHCP has been granted, he spends most of his time in a relatively quiet area in reception because of his anxiety. So they know any change is a problem. I have discussed over and over that 'fun' things are often not fun for a child with autism, they are 'change' which causes stress. They also are well aware that he masks, noise is a problem and doesn't want to 'make a fuss' so when they 'give him a choice' he tends to go with what they want rather than what he wants. So just last week, he was asked if he wanted to go to the school play as it would be fun. He didn't want to go but was told it would be fun, so he said he would (they also told him he could sit at the back, he was sat in the front row). He came home incredibly stressed as it was not only a change, it was very loud and he was sat in the front row. He didn't feel able to leave as he was placed in the front row rather than the promised rear.

And the school just said the same old stuff to me when he refused school yet again, 'we gave him a choice' ("Sam do you want to go to this play, its going to be such fun?" etc etc - they just don't see its not a choice to a child who masks with ASD"). I don't even sigh anymore.

They just don't get what happens in the mind of a young person with ASD. If they mask, they won't give true answers to questions, accuracy isn't the aim of communication for them nor is communicating - they are used to people not listening, unfortunately, its 'getting through/coping'. I have ASD and I've realised, thinking through all this, I did exactly the same in a difficult situation the week before. And I am an adult lol.

So go with your instincts. My son has toileting problems as well. These are signs of stress. Apply for DLA, there is an opportunity to give examples of what causes problems for your son.

The National autistic society will also help you fill in these forms. I had some excellent help with mine. They will help you explain things in a way that makes sense to assessors. They might also be able to discuss with you options that there might be in relation to your job. To be honest, just talking to someone who isn't saying 'there isn't a problem', who understands ASD, is a huge help.