*sigh* this may take a while

lucielle

That’s good news on the bonus. 

L

savingholmes

Exciting news on the bonus

ohdearhowdidthathappen

He does get really nice bonuses, not much less than my annual salary but the tax man does take a big chunk, like 42% for tax/NI. 
Over the last few years they've gone towards paying off debt and house renovations, so it'll be nice to have most of it 'spare' for once.  DH wants us to have £250 each to spend on whatever we want as he's bored of all our income going on the house, kids and life stuff.  I like the idea, although it's probably a bit frivolous  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Entitled teen is being really nice at the moment (last few weeks really), much as it's lovely I'm always slightly suspicious as it usually turns sour at some point. 
She's being kind, thoughtful and easy company.  In the spirit of this, I've booked last minute tickets to a show she's wanted to watch for ages and booked a hotel room so we can do some sightseeing and shopping too. 
She's got her mocks this week and we go away at the weekend as I thought it would be a nice way for her to unwind after them.  She's SO excited about the whole thing, it's sweet and I think the thought of the treat at the end of the exams has mitigated her usual exam stress and bad mood that comes with it.  I've saved a couple of shifts worth, so have £500 to spend on hotel, food, shopping etc, have already booked tickets out of a voucher I got given.

savingholmes

Sounds like a really lovely things to do. Glad things have been improving. Has she kept the job?

EssexHebridean

Great to hear that about entitled teen - maybe she’s just grown up a bit, and quite possibly getting that job introduced her to real life values as expected by normal people with a bit of a jolt! Lovely idea to book her a treat - hopefully she will make the connection that it follows that nice things happen when she’s being pleasant! 

I get your thinking on the booze thing - and you’re right too, cutting back is a genuine choice which will improve health, particularly if you’re drinking most nights. Is the plan to gradually increase the “off” nights until you only drink on weekend (or equivalent if you’re working weekend shifts at all) nights? We don’t drink midweek on work nights at all - we both have to drive first thing if we’re travelling in to to work, and also knowing booze affects sleep adversely I don’t really want those effects on days I am going to be driving/working. Sometimes we’ll drink Friday/Saturday/Sunday and sometimes we don’t - this week I’ve had nothing as I’ve not felt like it. Next week will be boozier Friday and Saturday as we’re away with a pal for his birthday. If the weight doesn’t belong then the positive change to reduce the alcohol will make it depart, if it needs to stay then it’ll be more stubborn, but regardless you will still have made a really positive improvement to your health! 

That’s fab news on the bonus too - and a great idea to each have a bit of it to do something nice with too. Fingers crossed it’s the sort of amount he’s hoping for! 

ohdearhowdidthathappen

savingholmes said:

Sounds like a really lovely things to do. Glad things have been improving. Has she kept the job?

She has indeed!  She's enjoying the income and independence

ohdearhowdidthathappen

EssexHebridean said:

Great to hear that about entitled teen - maybe she’s just grown up a bit, and quite possibly getting that job introduced her to real life values as expected by normal people with a bit of a jolt! Lovely idea to book her a treat - hopefully she will make the connection that it follows that nice things happen when she’s being pleasant! 

I get your thinking on the booze thing - and you’re right too, cutting back is a genuine choice which will improve health, particularly if you’re drinking most nights. Is the plan to gradually increase the “off” nights until you only drink on weekend (or equivalent if you’re working weekend shifts at all) nights? We don’t drink midweek on work nights at all - we both have to drive first thing if we’re travelling in to to work, and also knowing booze affects sleep adversely I don’t really want those effects on days I am going to be driving/working. Sometimes we’ll drink Friday/Saturday/Sunday and sometimes we don’t - this week I’ve had nothing as I’ve not felt like it. Next week will be boozier Friday and Saturday as we’re away with a pal for his birthday. If the weight doesn’t belong then the positive change to reduce the alcohol will make it depart, if it needs to stay then it’ll be more stubborn, but regardless you will still have made a really positive improvement to your health! 

That’s fab news on the bonus too - and a great idea to each have a bit of it to do something nice with too. Fingers crossed it’s the sort of amount he’s hoping for! 

Hopefully she will!  I think being bossed around, dealing with customers and getting paid for her efforts is doing her the world of good.
I'm planning to do 3 weeknights off booze a week (the nights before I work)... I'm stopping doing weekend shifts completely now as I earn enough doing 2 NHS shifts and 1 private shift a week ( the private shift earns me more than my 2 NHS shifts put together, which is daft really).  I'd agreed to do one Sunday in February, which I will do, but I won't agree to more after that. 
The other 4 evenings, I'll just be more mindful of what I'm drinking and I think by default that will correct the snacking in the evening habit too!
Yes, fingers crossed, it comes in his Feb pay pack so he'll hear mid Feb.  Luckily he works in a sector that has been completely unaffected by covid, they've actually had their best year ever and as his bonus is profit linked, it's looking good.  

mark55man

All good.  We found that the late teens were a real transitional period, and as they progressed through 6th form all of our young adults just got less edgy - sparky, yes - hormonal, yes - but just generally easier in their own skin and therefore less challenging.  Also you've probably accepted its too late for any more shaping/guidance s less to fight and push back against

Good luck on the dieting - you are exactly right about 800 - snacking and booze are correlated and neither are affordable on the calorie budget - but you may be surprised and how full you will feel once you fnd the things you like and remove  lot of the carbs.  Our typical day is - black coffee for breakfast and at 10:30 - then eggs and bacon or ploughman or soup for lunch.  then a curry / tagine / stew (some but not many root veg) - often with cauli rice (we use frozen packs).  Then we will have full fat greek yoghurt with rasperries and some nuts.  I do have snackettes - but protein or veg not carbs

savingholmes

Glad things are going better with the entitled teen - I was concerned for both of you. Glad things have turned around.