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Can I afford to leave my boyfriend?

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Comments

  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,370 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Lmh713 wrote: »
    The more Child Maintenance he gives me, the less benefits I get so it would actually be more helpful for him to cover specific costs than it would to give me cash in hand. He won’t have much to contribute either and looking at the calculator his bare minimum seems to be barely £100 a month in which case I’d much rather he paid the childcare
    .....
    Your question about child maintenance - are you worried that I’m not asking him for enough or worried I’m over-asking compared to my entitlement? The thing is, he is still a loving, incredible father and I know he would never let his girls down so as long as anything he gives me or pays for directly benefits the girls then I know he will happily oblige.

    As others have said, child maintenance shouldn't affect benefits.

    But without getting into blame, doing it your way would not only mean that he has less to set himself up with because you want more than he is obliged to pay, it also leaves him open to you going back to child maintenance in the future, telling them he hasn't paid and putting in a claim for the backdated amounts. Is he aware of that?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Hey guys, thank you for your replies. I haven’t actually applied for any benefits, I’m just using the Turn2Us benefits calculator. When I increase the child maintenance amount it decreases the total benefits at the end?

    @ Xylophone - The Exeter School is a private school, I’m not mad or greedy enough to expect him to pay for private school! I literally mean trips and hot lunches if required 😂 maybe go halves on the uniform.

    @ Elsien - That is a very good point, however, I would never do that. Honestly, we are both honest and good people who respect each other enormously and value each other as great parents. We have simply fallen out of love. As much as I trust he would never put me in any difficult situation, I know he knows I would never do that to him either.
    And in relation to not leaving him enough money - splitting up leaves me (as you can see above) £70. It leaves him about £800 (for food, fuel & car) so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable? I don’t think he’d think I’m being unreasonable either?
  • DCFC79
    DCFC79 Posts: 40,641 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Make your next phone a cheaper one and go sim only, do you use the tablet and smart watch ?
  • @ DCFC79 ..ohhhh 100% I will be, either way. I use the tablet ALL the time at work but if I have to stop work then it will easily be redundant or WiFi-only would be fine. I also use my watch every single day but again, 90% because it’s so much easier at work, so if I wasn’t working I could very easily live without it!
    Probs just keep my phone contract going seeing as it’s only £26 a month for iPhone 8 with 20GB
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