Any nurses who work in BUPA care homes - please help

paulac_3

This is probably a very unethical thing to ask but I'm at my wits end.
My DD (21) has been a care worker in a BUPA home for a couple of years. She has just announced she is pregnant by her BF of six or seven months. Of course we are all worried to death for her but thought that at least the BF would be able to help her financially. He's a senior nurse at the home, often works 60 hours a week (night shifts) and has been in this country for 2yrs and previously in Saudi for 12yrs. He lives in a shared house so rent can't be that much.

However he's just announced that he's not very well paid and only has £3000 saved and can't possibly help her with somewhere to live. DD is swallowing all his lies and I don't know how to approach this next.

Is there anyone out there who works for BUPA who might be able to say roughly how much someone in his position would earn so that I can confront him with it ( and show DD what a lying rat he is being)?

kathy206

Hi
Sorry to hear of your predicament. Whilst I can't comment on wage rates for BUPA care homes,may I just make a suggestion? I can understand your angst regards your DD however my honest opinion is the more you try and show DD how much of a creep her BF is, you run the risk of pushing her further into his arms, and maybe isolating her from you and the rest of the family. However hard it must be to sit back and watch the situation unfold, if you make him out to be a total to$$er then natural rebellion and the "I'll prove you wrong" instinct will kick in (bin there,done that:rolleyes: many years ago....)
I am sure you are going out of your mind with worry about this, and I can honestly sympathise with you, but the best you can do is be there for DD and guide her to the www.entitledto.co.uk to find out what she can claim in the way of maternity benefits.Also working as a care assistant, she needs to have a risk assessment with her manager and identify potential hazards to her whilst she is pregnant. (ie manual handling, infection control, COSHH )
My very best wishes to you and your DD good luck xx

lynzpower

My mum works for BUPA and I think on a standard working week , most nurses are on about 20-5k+ - but of course it all depends on a) experience b) qualifications etc. c) where in the UK they are etc.

You dont know anything about his situation, he could be sending money home ( if hes from abroad) he could be up to his neck in debt. you do have to wonder why hes working a 60 hour week, after all.

Why does she need somewhere to live?

plane_boy2000

You say hes a care worker and not a qualified nurse, so I would suggest the he is probably on minumum wage £5.X a week. To behonest if he has managed to support himself and save 3K up then he is not doing badly. Sounds like you are looking for a reason to have a go at him, but i imagine that he is telling somewhere near the truth.

*********************************************

Sorry - just read again - if you say hes a senior nurse the he should be on low to mid twenties (as lynzpower said) plus his overtime) so it likely he is probably on 30K plus, but before you start to critisise you should consider his existing commitments