Divorce and clean break

Hi folks,

Thanks for your time and guidance in advance. Long post alert.

I married my gf in 2013. Things started crumbling after marriage, and in 2015 we had an argument which ended up me being in a hospital (she got scratched but I did not directly hit her). We lived separately for 6 months after this but got back together in 2016. In the mean time, she got a job in her field (I am working since 2011).

In early 2017, we had arguments when she started coming home late from work and started revealing dresses she never wore before, came home drunk couple of times which she never did before, stopped physical intimacy with me altogether. Smelling an affair, I wanted to be separated and I left the matrimonial flat in June, 2017. We were renting, despite we both were earning decent at this point, I was paying the rent and all bills.

Soon after I left the flat, she filed for a domestic violence case with the police, and a non-molestation order at the family court. Both of these were overturned, only the court asked me to undertake an oath and not to contact her for few months. I already left the flat and was living separately so no issues there. In Jan 2018, this was lifted but I didn't contact her, neither did she.

We are in our early 30s, both have decent jobs (she earns about 38K last I knew and I around 48K per year); no joint assets, no joint bank accounts, no property, no children. I have a bit of savings and pension; she does have both but I am not sure about the exact amount.

Now I am thinking of getting a divorce.I tried to communicate with her but she is non co-operating. Calls/texts/emails go unanswered, calls from my cousin to her brother received no answers of our ask of getting a divorce amicably.

I am going to file for a divorce. Obviously I want a clean break so given the background, what steps should I take to get a clean break from her? (given that she will be putting blockers on every step of the process?)

Many thanks again,


  • pphillips
    pphillips Posts: 1,631 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    You should ask her to agree to a consent order, which needs to be drawn up by a solicitor and is usually approved by the court after you both confirm you have received independent legal advice.

    The alternative is to let the court decide by filing for financial remedy using Form A.
  • andy.b2018
    Thanks pphillips
  • OhhEnnEmm
    I'd get a divorce solicitor involved and pay them to handle the correspondence. If she's the uncooperative party, she should also be made to pay the solicitor fees for correspondence.

    I'm currently handling my friends divorce for him as he has disabilities. We're using J M Wilson, who specialize in family law (I'd recommend going with a specialist) and it's been money very well spent. Without their advice he was about to give up thousands for her.

    Here's a link to J M Wilson's Divorce Solicitors Page. in case you need it.

    Best of luck, I hope they sort it out dude.
  • SandraX
    SandraX Posts: 840 Forumite
    Dear OP

    Divorce solicitor as it appears you can afford it, shop around, see their feedbacks, ask they about timescales if you ex was cooperative or not and go for that one and you will end up with a 100% clean break. And, never be tempted to contact her again even if she provokes you or gets someone else to do this

    Good luck, you will need it.

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