How will Universal Credit affect my family finances?

emberzburnout

swingaloo wrote: »

So he has decided its best to 'relocate with you' leaving behind 3 children with a mother who has turned to drugs in the past because you couldn't live in a Welsh village.

He wants to buy his kids 'decent presents' at Christmas, you want him to fill their hampers with cheaper stuff.

Despite having 269 spending money a month he wont be able to take his kids for days out.


This has got disaster written all over it.

Perhaps it would have been prudent to do some 'financial planning' before deciding to have a second family with this man.

His first family will not be inferior to your child and neither should they be. You have a lot of years of compromise ahead of you and you seem to be resentful of them already.

I'm here for monetary advice, not a moral lecture.

Mom wanted custody, she no longer does drugs, she's actively trying to improve her life (I think). He could have left one child behind in Birmingham, or relocated with his kids to be nearer. As it happened it was deemed best by all parties that mom got the chance to actually be a (full-time) mom and the kids didn't have to relocate, rather they stay in the family home. (he has two daughters, they're starting to gravitate towards mom as they near puberty)

We've tried to do what best for all the children.. which includes my one that you seem to be regarding with such derision.

Why's that? The disproportionate aspects of Child Maintenance speak for themselves. The flawed system is to blame, serendipitous and unplanned life circumstances aren't.

So really, your ill informed opinion means very little to me.

Also, I don't know how far you think £269 will stretch across the Christmas period when we have a baby due in January, still baby supplies to buy, having his kids for 5 days over Christmas, and his sons birthday in January before the baby due date.

I'm not a bloody miracle worker.. Alas, if you are, please enlighten me.

Craig1981

ummmm - not going through your entire last post, but HB will not pay for someone's mortgage, nor will housing costs under UC - at best, you need to claim for interest to be covered, but this is all paid back through equity or via person etc etc etc

also, you cannot just claim your child is autistic and "reap the rewards" as you so put it.

£100 per child in maintenance to me is a let off to be frank - the rate is 19% (i believe) for three children from GROSS pay - so my estimate would be based on the net you supplied, around £440 a month that the legal amount should be - be thankful that a lower agreement is in place

if you so strongly believe that she is claiming fraudulently, why have you not reported it as a taxpayer yourself?

at the end of the day, UC and benefits are there to help YOU, in YOUR circumstances, in time of need - very pointless worrying about everyone else are their predicaments

emberzburnout

Craig1981 wrote: »

ummmm - not going through your entire last post, but HB will not pay for someone's mortgage, nor will housing costs under UC - at best, you need to claim for interest to be covered, but this is all paid back through equity or via person etc etc etc

also, you cannot just claim your child is autistic and "reap the rewards" as you so put it.

£100 per child in maintenance to me is a let off to be frank - the rate is 19% (i believe) for three children from GROSS pay - so my estimate would be based on the net you supplied, around £440 a month that the legal amount should be - be thankful that a lower agreement is in place

if you so strongly believe that she is claiming fraudulently, why have you not reported it as a taxpayer yourself?

at the end of the day, UC and benefits are there to help YOU, in YOUR circumstances, in time of need - very pointless worrying about everyone else are their predicaments

My understanding of the housing situation is off base then, I know her mom got in on the mortgage but the details elude me.

I have no interest in playing tit-for tat and disputing her benefits payments, I'm just highlighting the inequity and unfairness of the incompatibility between UC and Child Maintenance which demonstrably and specifically discriminates against second families and those paying parents on low income.

I'm not seeking to deprive his children, I'm seeking a remedy for a detrimental situation.

My Universal Credit entitlement is supposed to "be there for me" - but due to the incompatible taper rates it not. Those are the facts. Universal credit assumes I (and he and our child) see the £300 that goes to his children, but we do not. Flawed system. Robbing Peter to pay Paul.

swingaloo

emberzburnout wrote: »

I'm here for monetary advice, not a moral lecture.

Mom wanted custody, she no longer does drugs, she's actively trying to improve her life (I think).

But still partying hard at weekends


He could have left one child behind in Birmingham, or relocated with his kids to be nearer. As it happened it was deemed best by all parties that mom got the chance to actually be a (full-time) mom

Well she would have to be if you moved miles away rather than stay close enough to help on a daily basis. They are his children too, its not just about handing over some cash.



We've tried to do what best for all the children.. which includes my one that you seem to be regarding with such derision.

You seem to be very defensive, I have said nothing derogatory about your child. Im married to a man who has children from a first marriage and Im well aware of the sacrifices that need to be made when you start a second family and how difficult it can be to have a blended family. But, from reading your posts you already seem very resentful of his first wife and children.



So really, your ill informed opinion means very little to me.

My opinion is not 'ill informed', it is as valid as your opinion but you do seem to feel the need to justify yourself and come across as defensive.



Also, I don't know how far you think £269 will stretch across the Christmas period when we have a baby due in January, still baby supplies to buy, having his kids for 5 days over Christmas, and his sons birthday in January before the baby due date.


Im sure it wont go far but as you are now finding out that because of no forward planning you will have to adapt.


I'm not a bloody miracle worker.. Alas, if you are, please enlighten me.

As I said, very defensive.

skcollobcat10

emberzburnout wrote: »

I never said "mental illness is a joke" and I'm not making fun of mental illness as a whole... Although I am poking fun at this particular instance of "mental Illness".

There's actually much controversy around the evolution and application of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), and Bi-Polar is one of "illnesses" definitely up for debate.. what came first, the chicken or the egg? Bi-Polar is mainly characterised by reckless, self destructive behaviour and temperamental mood swings.

At what point does a fickle mentally equate to a "mental illness"?
But that's a debate for a whole other (medical and psychiatric) forum.

I happen to take mental illnesses quite seriously, my brother has just gone into psychosis, through trauma. That's a legitimate mental illness. On the other hand, this Bi-Polar case couldn't keep her legs closed or the drugs out of her nose and now wants to blame her reckless behaviour on her "Bi-Polar" - which just happens to share the same descriptors as typical unscrupulous behaviours often seen in delinquents who refuse to grow up and take any ownership for their actions.

She's "not fit enough to work", but she is fit enough to get on with just about any other daily activity and weekend activities of partying hard.

Personally, me and my brother had a traumatic upbringing by a single alcoholic parent (which has seriously damaged his mental health - though he always worked up until his recent traumatic experiences), I myself suffer anxiety and have only recently got over serious depression (through self therapy), although I don't consider these "illnesses" as a get out of work clause - Life is traumatic from birth till death, it's a normal part of the human experience... But you roll your sleeves up and you get on with it.

I also suffer two herniated disks, sciatica, piriformis syndrome and chronic fatigue But so long as I can drag myself out of bed, still do physical activity and maintain a coherent dialogue with others, I'm fit for work and fit for being a positive contribution to society, and fit for being a positive role model to my future child. I generally have to call in sick to work twice a year when my pain becomes unbearable (it fluctuates), but there are thousands out there claiming sickness benefit for the same illnesses.

Some of these people will be in serious chronic pain, others are just mentally and physically fickle and they would rather give up their own personal agency and let the state support them long term (which it's most incompetent at doing).

I'm not a person who likes to give up autonomy and self owner-ship. Unlike so many others.

But what ever, I'm still a social activist and I'll still support peoples right and access to the welfare state, even if I think some of them are being lazy and self-righteous - those are in the minority. The job market is a difficult place to navigate and not all are equipped to deal with it, heck I can just about deal with it. (Country's gone to pot, we all know it - It's not like there's enough jobs to employ everybody anyway. The numbers don't add up, the system is stacked against you from the get go. The joys of capitalism.



How much does it cost to feed clothe and house 3 children?

Firstly, he transferred the cheap mortgage over to her and she gets that paid by Housing Benefit. Secondly she gets Child Benefit from the state for all of them. Thirdly, she gets her own personal allowance on behest on the tax payer (again). Fourthly, she also fraudulently claims disability for one of the children by lying and saying the child needs hearing and visual aids for Autism. That child in currently in my kitchen simultaneously playing on a laptop, playing with a deck of cards and making a hell lot of noise. No visual or hearing aids required.

Additionally that £100 each to them a month in maintenance is still more than the state provides for (which my kid will receive) of £89 per month. (But they are receiving both provisions - my child will not). She's also entitled to free legal aid, whereas we are not.

Lastly, if you decided to actually pay attention you would see that as it stands I'm on maternity pay and that leaves us with the £200 something "disposable" income after child maintenance has been paid. I said we are happy to live withing these means for the mean time. No begrudgement there. Although I "-" the "disposable" aspect, because I'm sure that won't go far between the new baby and still supporting the other three kids by alternative means, and we won't be able to afford any household emergencies.

The kicker is when my maternity runs out, my earning potential is minimised (due to having a child under one) and we have to make a claim to Universal credit. There is an inherent incompatibility between Universal Credit taper rates and the Child Maintenance rates which is having a detrimental effect on our combined joint incomes. When my maternity pay runs out, we'll be £600 down, and only entitled to £295 Universal Credit support - which actually leaves us in the RED.

It's not that I think that £300 is too much. The fact is that £300 is too much to cover our basic living expenses (which have not been taken into account since 1998!!) - meanwhile we pay for his kids four ways ways, 1) Paying our full taxes (both have done for years) in order to fund that Welfare bill that mother claims, 2) In child maintenance 3) In unclaimed welfare due to the incompatible taper rates of UC and 4) When we have them over here and still need to find a way to fund activities and presents.

I can't post links, but I suggest you brush up on your facts. None of this would be a concern if I'd already qualified and we were both earning to our full potential - but I'm not and this incompatibility between Universal Credit and Maintenance will significantly hinder my (new mother) 1 year off work and any hopes I had of becoming a full time student in order to re-qualify.

So the only solutions to this problem seem to be

1) I go straight back into work, and we work opposite shifts to cover bills and care for baby & I indefinitely post-pone University

2) We down size and he stops getting over night visits with his kids

3) We split up and I become a single parent, unravelling our finances - at the cost of a happy family and further cost to the state. (I'll need more financial support).

What an attitude you have to mental illness, I do hope that you change your attitude before becoming a properly qualified Social Worker.

Also awful to say that children's mother open legs to all kinds and now you come along with a holier than thou attitude not really knowing much about mental illness and you begrudge 1st family children and having to pay out for them. Remember, she might have opened her legs but you have also, to a second time round the block married man.

emberzburnout

skcollobcat10 wrote: »

What an attitude you have to mental illness, I do hope that you change your attitude before becoming a properly qualified Social Worker.

What attitude? Some people are mentally fickle, are they not?

Also awful to say that children's mother open legs to all kinds and now you come along with a holier than thou attitude not really knowing much about mental illness and you begrudge 1st family children and having to pay out for them. Remember, she might have opened her legs but you have also, to a second time round the block married man.

She's the one who had extramarital affairs and destroyed her nuclear family. Her last communication with me was "Haha, he took me back even after 5 affairs before we split".

I've not communicated with her since, yes, I think she's beneath me, and I think he deserves a second chance at love.

All I've done is met a guy, fallen in love and fallen pregnant with my first child.

I fail to see your moral high ground.

Anyone here got any financial advice other than turning back the clock and not having baby?
Hardly a constructive line of criticism.

welshmoneylover

This will not end well.
£300 cm is really low, should be at least double.
Children are incredibly expensive to raise... as you will soon find out.

Good luck, cos you are going to need it.

K80_Black

emberzburnout wrote: »

I never said "mental illness is a joke" and I'm not making fun of mental illness as a whole... Although I am poking fun at this particular instance of "mental Illness".

There's actually much controversy around the evolution and application of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), and Bi-Polar is one of "illnesses" definitely up for debate.. what came first, the chicken or the egg? Bi-Polar is mainly characterised by reckless, self destructive behaviour and temperamental mood swings.

At what point does a fickle mentally equate to a "mental illness"?
But that's a debate for a whole other (medical and psychiatric) forum.

I happen to take mental illnesses quite seriously, my brother has just gone into psychosis, through trauma. That's a legitimate mental illness. On the other hand, this Bi-Polar case couldn't keep her legs closed or the drugs out of her nose and now wants to blame her reckless behaviour on her "Bi-Polar" - which just happens to share the same descriptors as typical unscrupulous behaviours often seen in delinquents who refuse to grow up and take any ownership for their actions.

She's "not fit enough to work", but she is fit enough to get on with just about any other daily activity and weekend activities of partying hard.

Personally, me and my brother had a traumatic upbringing by a single alcoholic parent (which has seriously damaged his mental health - though he always worked up until his recent traumatic experiences), I myself suffer anxiety and have only recently got over serious depression (through self therapy), although I don't consider these "illnesses" as a get out of work clause - Life is traumatic from birth till death, it's a normal part of the human experience... But you roll your sleeves up and you get on with it.

The DSM is used in the US, in the UK they use the ICD made by the WHO. Regardless, the last big change to the DSM that caused controversy was the removal of Asperger's. After checking, we're still on the DSM-5 and the ICD-10 (edit, oops, 11 this year! not in effect til 2022 though), and there were no changes to the classification of bipolar between the DSM-4 and DSM-5. Please don't talk nonsense.

Bipolar is a very real illness, and although like all of them, the effects on the day to day life of the person changes dramatically. I'd suggest you watch Stephen Fry's excellent documentary 'Not So Secret Manic Depressive - 10 years on' so you can educate yourself a bit more with the struggles people with bipolar disorder face. Even if they did put powders up their nose as Mr Fry has admitted to!

While we're sharing our life stories for no particular reason, my partner had Cancer, and thought it 'wasn't a big deal'. They just lopped off a testicle, gave him a few rounds of chemo and sent him on his merry way. The way he talks about it now, you'd think he'd had an ingrown toenail. We all react to things differently.

I however am severely mentally ill and have been out of work for nearly 5 years. I simply cannot roll up my sleeves and get on with it. Working full time just lead to me being hospitalised (at the cost to the taxpayer of around £450 per night), often for months (you do the maths), so now when my psychiatrist says I should lead a low stress life, I do.

I agree this isn't the right forum to have this debate, and I'm sorry I don't have useful advice on your situation, but I find your attitude towards the mentally ill appalling, and simply had to say something.

huckster

All I would say on the personal issue of being a second family unit, is that it is perfectly normal to feel bitterness towards the ex-wife/partner. I have heard this on so many occasions and it does not help. If you have had legal advice and there is no legal way of addressing any issues, then as you know, it is just making the best of it.

On the financial front, the obvious point, is that you both find a way of working, minimising any childcare costs. Have a look at Government website 'childcarechoices'. It might be a case of passing ships, as one leaves for work, as one comes home, but this might be better than seeing debts building up, causing misery later on.

The main thing is to avoid debt like the plague. Don't use credit cards, storecards, catalogues etc, as a way of providing for todays needs. You might be able to pay the minimum repayment amount, but the debts will keep increasing. If your circumstances changes, then you will be in trouble. Remember that the credit providers can change the interest rate and they are normally variable.

FBaby

Alas, the obligation needs to be paid.

Alas? Really? How about Alas that you've decided now was a good time to add a child when your OH has three children who have gone through hell and now have to cope with seeing less of their father whilst a new addition will get to have all his attention.

The only 'alas' from their perspective is that you came into his life. And thank god for the government imposing father to pay maintenance as clearly he would happily pay nothing towards his kids so that you can have a nice cosy family together. Disgraceful.