Guilt about sick leave

lulu_92

I've tried to handle my anxiety and stress for about 18 months now, with little success so, at breaking point, I went to the doctor to arrange getting some counselling sorted. I'm booked in for a couple of days from now (thank goodness for in-house counselling!) but he has also advised that I self certify for 7 days, with the option to continue the time off via a fit note next week.

All of this has made me feel slightly better, but I'm now feeling more anxious that I will be leaving work in the lurch massively if I do take time off. My colleague is on holiday for a few weeks, leaving me to do all of the work (I work in a customer facing role), so if I am off this leaves them with nobody in this department.

I feel really bad about doing this, even though I know I will benefit from the sick leave. I'm not sure what I'm expecting from posting this, I just needed to write this out before I confront it head on.

dld2s

Different illness but same type of situation- My Mrs had a injury to her back and even though she was in a lot of pain and could hardly move at times and despite my nagging her to go to the doctors or at least take a week off and Self Certificate she continued to go into work as she didn't want to leave her work in the lurch or extra pressure on her colleagues.


This went on for 3 to 4 weeks before she finally gave in and went to the doctors, Doctor was not too happy and said she had actually aggravated the problem by continuing to go to work, she has now been off 6 weeks been at physiotherapy and is not much better, she has now been given another 4 week line and they are now arranging xrays because it is not clearing up.


What I am saying here is, that week may be all you need? but staying on at work whilst you are ill may in fact, long term, be worse for you and also your employers as you may make the problem worse not taking that week off?

KiKi

No guilt required. If they are a caring, human organisation then they'll want you to get well. If they're not, then you're nothing more than a transaction anyway.

Put it this way: in two years, regardless of the type of organisation you're in, no-one's going to say "do you remember when Lulu was off for a week?" They'll have other things to be doing / worrying about.

Feel better soon.
KiKi

London50

My opinion for what it is worth is you need to be able to do your job properly and if your doctor has told you you need help then he/she must know what is right for you.I understand your feelings regarding letting your company down {my partner is the same with their company} but in the long term it COULD go from bad to worse if you keep trying to push it aside. Then it might not be a {hopefully} short period of time off.
It is not YOUR problem as to who is brought in to cover the time and I would believe that your company would sooner have "the old" lulu92 fit and healthy doing the job she is good at rather than someone that could {and might, through the situation} be sacked if a complaint was made because of stress.
try {for once} to think of yourself, get the help you want and need and before you know it the "old lulu92" will be bak fit and well and ready to take the world on again. :0)

Good luck

happiestpuppy

Feel better soon Lulu. As dld2s says, a week's recovery now could be much better than getting even worse. Look after yourself, you don't need to feel guilty, it's not your fault. xxx

System

Would you feel guilty of you were off work with a broken leg?

This is no different, your mental health is equally as important as your physical health, and the brain happens to be one of the most important organs so when that goes wrong it can really go wrong. If you need a week off, you can take one. Hopefully after a bit of time off you will feel better, if you dont then think about how any adustments (less hours/phased return) could help. I do understand the guilt, ive felt it in times when i've been off for my mental illness, but if im not 100% then im no use at work.

20aday

I can understand why you'd feel guilty, I'd be just the same, but you have to put yourself first.

Your employer should be understanding and compassionate (hopefully) and have plans in place to be able to organise suitable cover?

I hope you feel better soon and I'm glad you're getting the help you need to sort out the anxiety and stress.

And I would like to say it's very important to put yourself first; a couple of months ago I told my manager at work I was burned out and despite booking me some time off I was still called in for overtime*... they didn't really need me, and with one thing and another, I ended up taking an overdose after clocking out at work.

Needless to say... one of the managers who was leaving work after the end of their shift told me not to be so stupid, got in their car, and drove away... and even after my return to work conversation with my manager some of the issues I raised in the previous chat have been completely ignored!

*Yes, I should've said 'no' but again I feel guilty if I say no.

lulu_92

Thank you so much guys, I do feel a bit better about it.

I think it's down to two things why I feel bad. The first is that the guy who is on holiday is the only person who works the same shift pattern as me, so getting cover from managers and others is a lot harder.

The other is that, although I have been struggling for a long time, my latest flare up has partly been because of some work related issues and I don't want them thinking "she's not genuine, it's because of *work reason*"

I'm going to self certify today (my next working day is tomorrow) and hopefully I get a counselling appointment for tomorrow.

DCFC79

Think about yourself, dont feel guilty. They will find cover for your absence otherwise no customers will be seen to.

TELLIT01

It is the responsibility of the employer to ensure they have adequate staffing to cover sickness and other events. If you were in hospital they would have to cope. Your own health is the most important thing for you, but not necessarily for the employer.

Manxman_in_exile

Do what your GP advises and put the "guilt" to the back of your mind - and - most importantly - give yourself the chance to get better.


I worked with a colleague who never took any time off (incl AL) because they thought they were irreplaceable. (Actually they were to a large extent!) But as our boss said to me on more than one occasion, "what if they step in front of a 'bus tomorrow? We would just have to continue as best we can."