Romance scams

AubreyMac

K80_Black wrote: »

I didn't see it, though I'm familiar with the scam.

I have however sent money or gifts to at least 5 different people I've only met online - none were romantic interests, all were friends. Small amounts that I'd give to a mate down the pub, usually because it was their birthday. It's fun to paypal someone a fiver and say 'Happy Birthday, have a pint on me today!'

I do it because I've known them for years, and just because they're geographically far away doesn't mean they're not real people I care deeply about. I've received cards and gifts from them too. People make all sorts of connections online - I've been chatting with some of my online buddies for over 5 years now. They're as much a part of my life as friends who've moved overseas or similar.

People aren't stupid, they're human. We all want love and affection, friendship and connections. While I agree some of these scams are absolutely blatant, I wouldn't say that caring about people you've never physically met is stupid. I think the opposite is true - ignoring the possibility of friendship with the billions of people who don't happen to live in the same postcode as you is just plain silly in this day and age.

That's far different from the cases of romance scams featured. some were sending over thousands of pounds and other articles on youtube some were selling their homes in order to send the money.


I've met friends and partners online before. Most of my current friends are from Meetup site, which is online but does require an actual physical meet at first. I'm meeting one of these friends for a meal tonight actually and I bought a gift along too.

K80_Black

AubreyMac wrote: »

That's far different from the cases of romance scams featured. some were sending over thousands of pounds and other articles on youtube some were selling their homes in order to send the money.


I've met friends and partners online before. Most of my current friends are from Meetup site, which is online but does require an actual physical meet at first. I'm meeting one of these friends for a meal tonight actually and I bought a gift along too.

Yes, I'm aware that some people get sucked in very deep by these scams.

My point was that it isn't so black and white. There are situations like mine where sending money or gifts to a 'stranger' is perfectly reasonable. There are times when giving a RL friend money is absolutely idiotic. You see it all the time on the loans board - 'How do I get my friend to pay me back? I loaned them 5k, and they promised to repay me, but now they've done a runner!'

There will always be people who are terrible at making judgement calls.

Fireflyaway

When in Egypt I met several older British women who had much younger Egyptian husbands. Typically the wives bought phones, cigarettes, clothes etc for the husband's and paid for the rent / bought a flat to live in. One woman I knew, allowed her husband to marry a younger Egyptian women and keep her On the side as it was the only way he could have kids! It was sad that these women had such low self esteem. Sometimes the men would say really horrid things about their wives right in front of them, because they knew they didn't understand.
Why would a 25 year old man want to marry a fat wrinkly 65 year old woman when he could pick a really attractive, young women?

Callie22

K80_Black wrote: »

Yes, I'm aware that some people get sucked in very deep by these scams.

My point was that it isn't so black and white. There are situations like mine where sending money or gifts to a 'stranger' is perfectly reasonable. There are times when giving a RL friend money is absolutely idiotic. You see it all the time on the loans board - 'How do I get my friend to pay me back? I loaned them 5k, and they promised to repay me, but now they've done a runner!'

There will always be people who are terrible at making judgement calls.

I do think that in a lot of these cases, the people do know that they're being scammed, but they're so invested - emotionally and financially - that they can't let themselves believe that they've been conned. It's almost like if they send just one more payment then they believe that that'll be the time all of the promises are kept - that their 'partner' will fly over to meet them because their kid will be better/they'll be out of hospital/they'll have rebuilt their house (insert excuse as appropriate). It's almost like an addiction in a way, where an addict believes that just one more bet/drink/fix will make everything ok. It's very sad.

calleyw

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Why would a 25 year old man want to marry a fat wrinkly 65 year old woman when he could pick a really attractive, young women?

And the same can be said of the 25 year old woman who marries a fat wrinkly 65 year old man.


A lot of the time its about money and wanting to be looked after.



So I can see why it happens. But not for me, as yes money is nice but would prefer to marry someone I love and have less.



Yours


Calley x