Full time mum breaking up :(

Mummy1986

Hi

I’m in a very difficult situation and I have no idea what to do. I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar position.

I’ve decided to split from my partner after finding out he has betrayed me. We have 2 children, 1 and 4. I’m a full time mum so have no income. We jointly own our home, although it was my partners before we met. Things are getting messy as he says if I’m leaving I have to go and get a council house and he won’t pay for furniture. I’ve tried looking online and some benefit calculator but it’s hard because I don’t know where I’ll live with the children and as I own half a property, that’s assets. My ex partner refuses to sell or give me half. It’s still early days and I’m going to book mediation. I guess the questions I have are,

If we sell the property and I get however much it won’t be mega money and that’s not going to last long private renting and furnishings etc and looking after the kids.

Do I private rent or get a council house?

If my partner let me stay in the house which is unlikely, how can I pay mortgage as I am a full time mum with no family support.

This is awful. I have this as well as the heartache x

Afraid_of_Kittens

How much is the house worth and how much is the outstanding mortgage?

huckster

First of all I would suggest you obtain legal advice from a Solicitors that handles such matters. You need to be advised of your legal rights in this situation.

Whether you rent privately or via council or housing association, you are probably going to be claiming housing costs from Universal Credit. You would be claiming for other aspects as well, including a standard allowance, children element.

Do you have any current benefit claims or tax credit claims ?

Government no longer pays mortgage interest only as a benefit as such. It would be a loan, which would be repayable, when the house is sold. You have to wait 9 months before you would receive any help, which the mortgage company are unlikely to be happy about, unless your ex partner continues to pay them.

So renting is probably the only realistic option in this situation. The local council housing team, should be able to explain local options. More likely to be council or housing association, if you are not working.

If you receive any sum from the sale of the house or a financial settlement from your ex partner, you would need to advise Universal Credit and Council of the amount. Above £16000 and benefits may be stopped. For council tax reduction, check the rules of your local council.

Alice_Holt

https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/housing/your-housing-rights/

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/if-you-were-living-together/what-happens-to-your-home-when-you-separate/

http://england.shelter.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0020/23393/ShelterGuide_RelationshipBreakdown.pdf

http://www.nfm.org.uk/separation-issues/housing-and-property/housing-rights

May be worth giving Shelter a ring re your housing rights.

If you rent - it's more likely to be private as there are very long waiting lists for social housing.

Mummy1986

I’d say £120k max. £77k left to pay.

pmlindyloo

I do think you are sensible to try mediation. Is your partner going with you?

Your children are very young. Is there any chance of forgiveness from you and counselling for both of you?

You say it is very early days so things may settle down and common sense prevail.

The trouble with your moving out and claiming benefits is that you may have capital in the house and, certainly, if you are a joint owner, have a right to stay there. It is possible that you would be refused benefits because of this so it is important that you have evidence that you have sought mediation/visited a solicitor for advice.

How much is the mortgage? If you stayed in the house would your partner pay the mortgage instead of child support?

These are his children too and to uproot them seems so unfair.

To be absolutely honest, you need to persuade your partner that it is best for the sake of the children for you and them to stay in the house whilst you seek advice/mediation on what will happen about the house.

He cannot ask you to leave so it is important that he agrees to resolve this - either by your remaining in the house and his paying the mortgage instead of child support or by buying you out.

I think a visit to a solicitor would be a good idea in the first instance or even to CAB who might have a visiting solicitor with whom you could get a free first interview, This would, at least ,make you and your partner aware of your options and whether benefits can be claimed by you in these circumstances if you moved out.

Mummy1986

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

The last thing I want to do is disrupt my children’s live by moving them out of the family home. Daddy and mummy won’t be together and that’s hard for them enough. If my partner agreed to paying mortgage instead of maintenance would I be entitled to benefits? I’m planning on getting a part time job when my ex partner agrees to having the children on set days etc, we’re still in the very early days of all this. It’s so hard trying to think practical, realistic and have a broken heart at the same time. I’ve worked all my life until I had our children because me staying at home was more beneficial without having family to support us for childcare etc. My ex partner is being very unreasonable so far saying I’m to blame and there’s nothing wrong me and children getting a council house. My son is in preschool and I do not want him to move schools.

I appreciate the responses.

huckster

As long as your ex did not pay you money personally, for you to spend as you wished, then yes you would be entitled to benefits. Even child maintenance payments which are part of a legal agreement would not affect benefits.

I think you really need to get advice from people who have been through this type of situation and also legal advice.

From what I have seen, people in this situation, have been able to get a house/flat from a housing association and been able to claim relevant benefits including housing.

Important to get everything documented and have documents available, should DWP or council require to see evidence. Have evidence that shows you have split from your partner, that he is now responsible for mortgage payments, what he is paying towards the children etc.

xylophone

If my partner let me stay in the house

You have said that you own the property jointly so you have a right to stay in the house.

poppy12345

huckster wrote: »

From what I have seen, people in this situation, have been able to get a house/flat from a housing association and been able to claim relevant benefits including housing.

Really? Somehow i don't think that's correct. It's extremely difficult to get a social housing property these days and this has been the problem for well over 10 years, in most areas all over the country.


Even disabled people with mobility conditions that need suitable housing find it extremely difficult.



The OP isn't homeless, they have a house and even if you are homeless with children that still doesn't mean you'll be given a home. If it was this simple then there certainly wouldn't be as many homeless people out there as there is right now.

pmlindyloo

poppy12345 wrote: »

Really? Somehow i don't think that's correct. It's extremely difficult to get a social housing property these days and this has been the problem for well over 10 years, in most areas all over the country.


Even disabled people with mobility conditions that need suitable housing find it extremely difficult.



The OP isn't homeless, they have a house and even if you are homeless with children that still doesn't mean you'll be given a home. If it was this simple then there certainly wouldn't be as many homeless people out there as there is right now.

I agree, Poppy.

The only case where I have seen someone classed as homeless in this situation (i.e having a legal right to remain in the property) is when there has been domestic abuse. Even then they are often put in emergency/temporary accommodation.

Of course, there might be some councils who have lots of social housing available but I very much doubt it.

The only option is to site being unable to live in the matrimonial house due to partner's unreasonable behaviour/detrimental atmosphere to children etc PLUS documented evidence that you have made moves to sort out the house situation through mediation/solicitor.