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Champagne Lifestyle on a Lemonade Budget.

edited 11 November 2018 at 12:35PM in Old Style MoneySaving
2.5K replies 465.7K views
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  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
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    It is interesting about bereavement. I've never thought about it like that but I suppose when my husband became disabled it was a sort of bereavement. I had two at school, a toddler and was pregnant but we didn't realise at that stage that it was permanent, we got that news when the baby was a few days old. So life changed, instead of a big strong husband I had a husband who couldn't do anything physical and couldn't work so I put on my various hats, the carer, the mother, the wife, the breadwinner. I can remember days when I cried with tiredness and despair.


    Here we are nearly 30 years later and it just goes on except the children are gone and I'm retired. I'm older and it isn't easy caring for someone who is 8 inches taller and nearly double your weight.



    It is my life but not the life I ever thought I'd have.
  • jackieblackjackieblack Forumite
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    It is interesting.
    Although that is how I felt, I somehow never felt justified in feeling that way.

    However, I have just looked up the dictionary definition:

    bereavement in British

    (bɪˈriːvmənt )

    noun

    1. the condition of having been deprived of something or someone valued, esp through death

    2. a death



    Collins English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers
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  • candygirlcandygirl Forumite
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    what a fantastic idea for a thread LL:D Your posts always cheer me up, n give me the inspiration to make the most of life :D
    Due to I'll health, I am now unable to work , but also love making the most of what little money I have .I love charity shop hunting, with my best mate, and we always come home with all sorts of bargains, n have a good giggle in the process:D
    I'm lucky in that I'm now mortgage free, but did start on the ladder very young. I run a relatively old car, that my Grandkids call the "Nanny Wagon" , and am veggie so eat quite cheaply.
    My hobbies mainly revolve around my two crazy dogs, the Grandkids, and friends :D
    I've had a bit of a melt down in the past month. It was Dad's 10 year anniversary, and my old dog Buddy, had a particularly traumatic and shocking death:( These things have really tipped me over the edge , but with the help of my friends, family and lovely doctor, I'm now hopefully on the right track to getting better:o
    THIS thread is exactly what I need right now :T
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004):D:D:D
  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
    3K posts
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    It is interesting about bereavement. I've never thought about it like that but I suppose when my husband became disabled it was a sort of bereavement. I had two at school, a toddler and was pregnant but we didn't realise at that stage that it was permanent, we got that news when the baby was a few days old. So life changed, instead of a big strong husband I had a husband who couldn't do anything physical and couldn't work so I put on my various hats, the carer, the mother, the wife, the breadwinner. I can remember days when I cried with tiredness and despair.


    Here we are nearly 30 years later and it just goes on except the children are gone and I'm retired. I'm older and it isn't easy caring for someone who is 8 inches taller and nearly double your weight.



    It is my life but not the life I ever thought I'd have.


    Just had a shocking thought re not the life I ever thought I'd have. It has been almost half my life and more than half my adult life. I can't quite get my head round that.
  • mrsmac10mrsmac10 Forumite
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    lessonlearned - I'm also a big theatre fan and have recently discovered National Theatre Live (http://ntlive.nationaltheatre.org.uk/), where theatre productions are screened live into cinemas. They cost around £15ish a ticket and also the views are so much better than you'll get from being in the theatre as the cameras are right up close to the actors. I was very very impressed. Keep an eye on your local cinema screenings (and look at different brands too - Vue and Odeon are the major ones, sometimes the productions are only screened in one of these, not both!) as it seems to becoming a bigger thing, with more organisations joining in. So far I've seen Hamlet, Warhorse and Frankenstein's Monster (all National Theatre productions) and they were all incredible. I've recently seen the King and I advertised (https://www.kingandimusicalcinema.com/) and the next one I'd like to go and see is the Nutcracker as I've never seen a live ballet (https://www.roh.org.uk/showings/the-nutcracker-live-2018).

    Hi. I just popped on for a browse and am delighted with this information. Thanks. I would love to extend my outings but sometimes the locality is not suitable

    I went to see Swan Lake recently. It was in our local theatre. When did patrons start woo-hooing at the ballet. :eek: It was the Russian Ballet company

    I have checked and our local cinema particles in this and I will be happy to go on my own. Car park right outside cinema and 5 minutes from my house.

    Thanks again
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
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    My friend's son *might* be in The Nutcracker Live. He's in yr8 at the Royal Ballet school. Me and DD went to watch him at The Royal Opera House at the beg of this year for his first Nutcracker. He's in it again this year at ROH but don't think we'll get there as I'm losing my job at Xmas and we already have tickets for another show.

    Watching National theatre live is a great way to see shows. I saw Billy Elliott a few years back, they had the first ever Billy and the (then) current one dance together - breath-taking.

    You don't always have to go to the West End though to find cheaper tickets. I lot depends on where you live and can travel to. I've had tickets for professional shows at West Yorkshire Playhouse (think it's now been renamed Leeds playhouse) for £12/£13 inc White Xmas and Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang, just before it started a UK tour. The young man I spoke of now at ballet school was one of the children in the latter production.

    That was helpful about bereavement. Currently going through a bit of a family issue and I haven't been able to clarify why I'm so upset about it and it's affecting me so much, realisation that it's 'mourning the loss of future plans' has made it clearer.
  • cherryblossomzelcherryblossomzel Forumite
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    mrsmac10 wrote: »
    When did patrons start woo-hooing at the ballet. :eek: It was the Russian Ballet company


    What, while they were dancing? That does seem a bit unorthodox.
  • Spendless wrote: »

    That was helpful about bereavement. Currently going through a bit of a family issue and I haven't been able to clarify why I'm so upset about it and it's affecting me so much, realisation that it's 'mourning the loss of future plans' has made it clearer.


    Glad that way of looking at it/phrasing it helped:)

    I know I find it easier to deal with anything (in whatever context) if I can verbalise it - ie clarify it in words as under:
    - What is happening?
    - Why is it happening?
    - How do I feel about it?
    - Is there anything I can do about it?

    To me - it adds a little "distance" from the issue that I know I find helpful in trying to figure it out/do anything that can be done to sort it out/then do any "living with it" that has to be done.
  • happyandcontentedhappyandcontented Forumite
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    This may not be the thread for this, but the comments re bereavement have struck a chord with me. My best friend is terminally ill and I already feel bereaved, even though she is still alive. I feel robbed of our future times together and I cope with the feelings by writing poetry.

    As a group of four close friends we regularly went on weekends away and day trips and now we can just about help her and her zimmer frame to the local coffee shop. It breaks our hearts to see her this way and we know that worse is to come. Obviously, our hurt is not the same as her family is feeling, but it does run deep.

    I wrote this poem to explain how we feel.

    Her Shrunken World.

    As four firm friends, we loved to hatch our self-indulgent plans,
    We have done London and The Ivy and a fleeting trip to Cannes!
    We have sunk many a Prosecco and copious amounts of wine,
    We even took a trip to Padstow for a rendezvous with Mr Stein.
    Milestone birthdays demanded that we formulate a scheme,
    To ensure the birthday girl was living out the dream.

    Now the landmark days approach, but they are viewed with less appeal,
    We glance at each other and feel our reality has become surreal.
    We skirt around the elephant and search for topics which are benign,
    Conversation is stilted as we seek the anodyne.
    No more for her the giddy excitement of the First-Class flight,
    With that realisation, we feel the sadness of mortality really begin to bite.

    Once more it is evident that death is the cruel invader,
    As he drags us kicking and screaming to the very brink of the nadir.
    Never again will we laugh together without the Spectre at the Feast,
    Soon, one of the four of us will be referred to as 'the deceased'.
    So sadly, we must accept that sprees will no longer feature in our lives,
    Circumstance dictates they’re now just memories in our ‘Golden Girl’ archives!
  • sheilavwsheilavw Forumite
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    What a lovely poem, so sad for you. I know how you feel. My lovely Husband was diagnosed with Motor neurone disease in July. I too feel cheated out of our future together. He had been in agony waiting for a new hip for over 3 years, finally got it done in Jan, now this. I am trying to be positive, you have to be.........................
    Just saw this thread the other day, and read it with interest. I too like a bargain, buy most of my things in the sales. Make use of the free coffee/cake vouchers for places like Boundary mill which is local to me. I buy a lot of my gifts at 75%, always have stuff 'in stock' for gifts, and raffle prizes for charity
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