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Wills and testaments, husband refuses to severe joint tenancy so I can't protect my share...

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  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Posts: 8,732 Forumite
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    If severing the tenancy will cause arguments I cannot think of any solution which will not cause arguments.

    He sounds selfish, and if he forced you into this you are not going to see your money unless you take control.

    I thought it was the other way round myself. There appears to be a low opinion of the OH. A low opinion of their family. Accusations that things where forced. OP has already said she doesnt trust husband and from my POV thats like missing the cement in a house.

    The OP's primary concern is protecting their self interests. Whilst the OP says the OH has said he doesnt care where money goes after them.

    IM not saying the OP is wrong for doing what theyre doing, although its not something i would subscribe to i just think theyre being more selfish than the OH.

    It sounds like the guy is worried his wife is trying to screw him over. Or inadvertently screw him over by offering their house to her siblings potentiallycausing big problems when hes on his own.
  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Posts: 8,732 Forumite
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    SoniaG wrote: »
    I did think about this as he is being totally unreasonable and selfish, but I would lose a lot of the money I invested. I invested a lot more than 50%...

    O yeh i was spot on. The OP is being selfish hands down.

    Care more about money than someone they married.
  • marliepanda
    marliepanda Posts: 7,186 Forumite
    spadoosh wrote: »
    O yeh i was spot on. The OP is being selfish hands down.

    Care more about money than someone they married.

    I understand your point of view, but why is he refusing to let her have a joint tenancy if he doesnt care...?
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Surely you knew when you married him that you had put in more in the house and that as a married couple, he would be entitled to half of it.

    Why did you maary him if you didn't want assets to ever be shared? Or is it a case that you were happy then but things have turned sour and you are trying to change things before living him maybe hoping that as its a 'short' marriage still, you might be able to get back what you put in? If that's the case, it's no surprise he wouldn't agree.
  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Posts: 8,732 Forumite
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    I understand your point of view, but why is he refusing to let her have a joint tenancy if he doesnt care...?

    Im assuming because as tennants in common any beneficiary of the OPs will can force the sale of the house he is living in.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,574 Forumite
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    spadoosh wrote: »
    Im assuming because as tennants in common any beneficiary of the OPs will can force the sale of the house he is living in.

    Not if she gives him a life interest in the property.
  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Posts: 8,732 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    Not if she gives him a life interest in the property.

    Which stops as soon as hes no longer in that property. What happens if the property isnt fit for purpose? Or he ends up in a nursing home?

    I do appreciate the OP brought the money but im guessing the husband has brought something to the party otherwise youd think they wouldnt be together, unless of course hes forced her to be with him too.
  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Posts: 8,732 Forumite
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    SoniaG wrote: »
    I am not being selfish, I am trying to protect myself and my assets. I live with a very stubborn and controlling husband that has made my life quite difficult for lots of different things over the last 20 years. I was only trying to get some advice about how to protect my share, how to write 'mutual' wills or perhaps any other will that could give me peace of mind.

    Thats pretty much the definition of selfish.

    Selfishness can be good and bad. In the case of a controlling husband, selfishness on the womans part would more than likely be a good thing.

    Look at it from my viewpoint. Youre slating your husband, youre trying to work out the best way to stop him inheriting your assets and you dont trust him. It doesnt look great. Now your reasons for doing so could be perfectly justifiable but i do not know those reasons.

    I know you tend to find now that more and more people are about protecting themselves in relationships and i appreciate the reasons for that i honestly do, but im old school (all be it still fairly young) i put everything on the line for my OH. I take pride in my integrity and from that point of view idont think it can be questioned when im willing to risk losing everything i had to form the partnership. I think if youre not, you open yourself up to your integrity being questioned.




    O... the post disappeared.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,574 Forumite
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    spadoosh wrote: »
    Which stops as soon as hes no longer in that property. What happens if the property isnt fit for purpose? Or he ends up in a nursing home?

    If the joint tenancy is severed, they will both own half of the property.

    Each of them can leave their share of the property to whoever they wish, giving their spouse a life interest (which should also cover the eventuality of wanting to move house, setting out who pays for upkeep, etc).

    If the survivor needs to go into care, their half of the property can be used to pay for that while the other half will go to the beneficiaries of the first will.
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    SoniaG wrote: »
    Hi.
    I am in a bit of a dilemma regarding Last will and testament issues. I have been living with my husband for about 20 years, we married about 3 years ago and we bought a property as joint tenants 2 years ago. We have no children and won’t be having any.
    I want to write a will to protect my share. All the solicitors I contacted told me about mirror wills, but I am not happy with this option because I don’t trust my husband with what he will do with my share if I happen to die before him. I am aware that he can change the mirror wills at any time after I die.
    I want my share to ultimately go to my own family (2 siblings) when my husband and I are both dead, or to my chosen charity if my siblings are also dead. I am aware that as we are married and bought the house as joint tenants, my husband will automatically get my share. He has been very reluctant about writing wills and the biggest problem is that he absolutely refuses to severe our tenancy from joint tenants to tenants in common, which would allow me to put my share in a trust. I know that I don’t need his permission to severe it but in our case, severing it without his permission is not an option (not now anyway) as I know that it would lead to massive arguments and a break-down of our marriage. - Im not surprised!
    I am worried that my share either go to his own family (he has 4 siblings, 2 of them estranged, and 2 nieces) or to his new partner/wife if he meets someone in the future. - AND? This is especially important as I have contributed to 70% of all we’ve spent on our property (deposit, mortage, etc.) and he seems to think that it is not normal to want to protect our own share. - it's not, you're married. He’s very much into the ‘what is yours is mine and vice-versa’ and ‘I do not care what happens to our money when we’re both dead’ principles, and I am at the completely opposite way. - He's right. That's what being married means! I very much care where my hard-earned money goes to. I certainly do not want it to go to his family (who I barely know, and to whom he gives money because they like wasting money and never live within their means) or new partner.
    So… I asked a couple of solicitors about writing a mutual/joint will (irrevocable) and they told me that mutual wills are very onerous and rare and that they do not accept instructions to write mutual wills.
    Could someone help me and let me know if they have written mutual wills ? How much does it cost in the UK? Are there solicitors specialised in mutual wills ?
    As my husband refuses to severe our tenancy, I am stuck and do not know what to do. Is there not any other way that I could protect my share ? Is it for example possible to include in ‘mirror’ wills a clause saying that these wills cannot be revoked or amended after the first partner dies ? (I read online that some ‘mirror’ wills were eventually considered being ‘mutual’ wills when the case went to court)… Or perhaps write 2 individual wills and add a special irrevocability clause in my own will, saying that MY will cannot be amended or revoked and specifically state that I do not want my husband’s family to have my share (and give all their names)? I am new to writing wills so I just don’t know what to do and would really appreciate some help there…
    I am also very confused about individual wills. My husband has actually suggested that we each write our own will but I know that it’s because he knows that he can change/cancel his own will at any time, so he’s not worried about individual wills. But surely he would not be able to change MY will when I’m dead.
    Any ideas ? Any suggestions ? I am totally lost ! Sorry for the long post…
    If I was him, I'd be walking out....
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