Advice desperately needed

tlc678910

Hi,
If you buy a home and your son pays market rent then he is no better off than it be rented off someone else. Your intention is to help him but he is still finding the money to pay to you and it sounds as though you don't need the income?

You mention your other children living in decent houses - are they rented, mortgaged or owned? Unless your other two own their houses outright I could understand them being fed up if you buy one sibling a house? But if he pays market rent i don't really get it.

Why not mention to your son if he can get his finances straight and his income in a position to be able to afford a mortgage, perhaps show he can save a couple of grand for fees, you will help him with the 10% deposit to get a mortgage. You could update your will to reflect what he has had. If your other children rent you could make them the same offer as it should still be less than buying a house.

If you want to buy a house to rent at market value for income it is probably better not to complicate it by having your son live in it and just rent it out normally. Many things could go wrong but for one your son could end up paying rent to you for decades when he might have bought eventually leaving him worse off.

If you just buy your son a house and don't ask him to pay anything is there a danger he will "drift" and have nothing to strive for. I guess this depends on his circumstances and personality like if he is a grafter with a family or if he is the opposite. Just consider the possibility if it could do more harm than good? (depends on his personality i think)

Tlc

lisyloo

You’ve done really well, but my opinion is that you have to think hard as to whether you’re hreally helping by allowing your son live beyond his means and that’s before he’s started a family which we all know bleed you dry.

Will your other children feel it’s unfair if they are not treated equally?
We don’t know his circs so difficult to comment further.

Is he happy where he is? Is it you as a potential grandmother that’s not happy?

Just some thoughts so please don’t take any offence.

moneyistooshorttomention

xylophone wrote: »

The OP hasn't said that her son is on benefits or will be seeking benefits?

But the risk of being put onto benefits for one's income is always there (and for some of us more than others) until the day we heave a sigh of relief and think "I'm retired now. Safe at last from that risk".

On a different tack - I must admit to being very curious how it's possible to turn one's financial situation round to such an extent in a few years and would be glad of any hints to follow on that one. Is what you did to turn your finances round something that could be replicated by this son (eg is it a business he could join you in?)

Cakeguts

I am not happy about any of this. The reason being that it feels as if the son in the council flat is having is life choices questioned.



No one seems to have asked the son what he wants to do. The bit about it being a nice flat but not in an area where the OP would want to raise a family seems to me to be irrelevant because the OP is not being asked to to raise a family there and that is their opinion and not necessarily the son's. So we are back to the son's choices not the OP's. Not only that but the son might have a lot of good friends in the area that he lives in so why would he want to move?



I think it is better not to try to impose your opinions of where to live on someone else.