House valuation and separation

Stoke

anna_1977 wrote: »

It absolutely is something she would do.

She's demanded to know what agents are coming, I suggested to ex he book them in on the morning she suggested and then just tell her what time to and from i.e. 9-10.30am for all 3 agents - she doesn't need to know what agency they are from until the valuations come in

She's instigated the divorce meaning this has to get sorted so I would have hoped she'd be amicable for the sake of getting sorted - wishful thinking

The fact they're married means they have 50% equity each in the house (unless that is contractually not the case??). He has just as much right to demand she isn't there, that she does to demand she is.

However, I'm guessing she's living in the house which makes it a lot harder. He could, of course, offer to move back in until the situation is sorted. He can legally live in another room, remember? That might make her want to cooperate a little more, but will obviously be a provocative move. Don't expect civility once that bridge has been crossed.

You need your solicitor to start earning their money and a few documents in writing. A few letters should clear up any issues.

anna_1977

I agree he has as much right but he doesn't want to rock the boat - which, I understand to some degree but not if it means she's going to fleece him.

I did mention moving back in a few weeks ago, that's totally out of the question - kids are young and it would confuse them..... although the wicked part of me would love to see her face if he rocked up with a case

Stoke

anna_1977 wrote: »

I agree he has as much right but he doesn't want to rock the boat - which, I understand to some degree but not if it means she's going to fleece him.

I did mention moving back in a few weeks ago, that's totally out of the question - kids are young and it would confuse them..... although the wicked part of me would love to see her face if he rocked up with a case

Awful situation with the kids. Although I was lucky enough that my parents didn't separate, I know it's not easy for kids when it happens.

He would be absolutely within his right to do so. My ex and I weren't married, but she owned 20% of the house and was legally entitled to come and go (move in, move out), as she pleased..... I couldn't stop her, and I didn't. The only time I began to put my foot down was after she stopped contributing to bills for a significant number of months but continued accessing the house. She was using the facilities on a fairly regular basis, so I suggested she either needed to contribute to bills again or stop coming. She took the second option and never visited again, except to sign the final form to complete the transfer.

gettingtheresometime

Could it be that she doesn't want your OH and an estate agent wandering around the house on their own unsupervised, which I can understand to a certain extent even if your OH is entitled to ?


If that's the case could your OH suggest a neutral party attends the viewing instead of both of them?

anna_1977

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Could it be that she doesn't want your OH and an estate agent wandering around the house on their own unsupervised, which I can understand to a certain extent even if your OH is entitled to ?


If that's the case could your OH suggest a neutral party attends the viewing instead of both of them?

Yes it is that but she won't have anyone else there but herself - it was already suggested. It's all about the money for her at the moment and I think she wants her say in the valuations - to get them as low as possible

anna_1977

Stoke wrote: »

Awful situation with the kids. Although I was lucky enough that my parents didn't separate, I know it's not easy for kids when it happens.

He would be absolutely within his right to do so. My ex and I weren't married, but she owned 20% of the house and was legally entitled to come and go (move in, move out), as she pleased..... I couldn't stop her, and I didn't. The only time I began to put my foot down was after she stopped contributing to bills for a significant number of months but continued accessing the house. She was using the facilities on a fairly regular basis, so I suggested she either needed to contribute to bills again or stop coming. She took the second option and never visited again, except to sign the final form to complete the transfer.

wow that's an interesting situation! I was lucky enough with my divorce to own the house 100% (mortgage and deeds my name only). It meant that my ex and I worked out a sum for me to buy him out and it was done with minimal fuss!

Stoke

anna_1977 wrote: »

wow that's an interesting situation! I was lucky enough with my divorce to own the house 100% (mortgage and deeds my name only). It meant that my ex and I worked out a sum for me to buy him out and it was done with minimal fuss!

Definitely not the case with us, but there we go. That's life.

It sounds to me as though she wants to be actively present throughout the entire house valuation. I would start by seeing how the first one goes. Be pragmatic, she might just want to be there in case anything goes missing (you'd be surprised).

If she actively starts to undermine your partner and influence the estate agent, then I would cut the valuation short and politely request they stop and leave. Obviously this won't win you any favours with the estate agent, but at that point, with such a strong gesture, you hold all the aces because you can indicate that the situation has changed and after refusing to allow an impartial valuation, the only move left is to sell the house. Instruct her that you will be getting solicitors involved and she will be receiving a letter next week with details on how to proceed. State that all further correspondence will need to be done in writing only, as phone calls and random chats aren't achieving anything. Formalise the procedure. Once you get on this path, the game begins to change and it becomes serious.

She doesn't want that. That will give her something to think about and I would put money on that she returns with an amicable suggestion that the valuations take place without her immediate presence. After all, she knows that if it does go too far, she will end up having to sell. She will also know that to sell, she will be required to obtain correct valuations.... so she gets her fair share. That would really besmirch her character if it then becomes obvious she was trying to stitch him up, out of £40,000. Hardy pocket money.

Keep_pedalling

Forget estate agents, it would be better to get a professional, paid for vavuation from a RICS qualified surveyer.

anna_1977

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

Forget estate agents, it would be better to get a professional, paid for vavuation from a RICS qualified surveyer.

Even for the purpose of her buying him out?

Keep_pedalling

anna_1977 wrote: »

Even for the purpose of her buying him out?

If you want to get a fair and accurate valueation, yes. Estate agents valuations can vary wildly, and where they are doing a free valuation with no chance of gaining any business I would not trust them to try to hard.