Hazelnutty's New Start

Hazelnutty

Hi everyone from the sofa! OH is watching the FA Cup Final, DD is catching up on Glow Up and here I am! We had a busy morning today - after DD's netball we had a massive team effort to sort the house. I bribed DD with a new PJ set in return for tackling her room. We're off to a colleague's place tonight for Eurovision which is totally NOT my thing but DD and OH are keen. DD has a footy tournament tomorrow morning and luckily one of our friends is doing the driving honours. OH really needs a rest but we also have a few jobs to get done in town.

Money-wise, I've been spending more than I've saved recently The big room, which was one of my goals for the house, is now clear, painted a lovely blue and set up as a proper living room. Next stop is the hallway and (I hope) some built-in storage under the stairs to stop everything being overtaken by shoes! Unfortunately, this all comes out of savings at the moment as for 10 months of the year I can only manage bills, a small OP, virtual pots (for all my various budgets) and if I'm luckly, a few quid into the general savings. In June and July I'm not paying DD's school fees and I can finally pay for a holiday and things for the house. I can't wait until DD goes into the state system. She's only been private as we've moved a lot and there were no state places anywhere workable where we landed now.

Only when she leaves will I be able to replace my car, start making proper inroads into the mortgage and think about anything more than month-to-month budgeting. That'll be in 2022! But I guess better late than never. I'm also waiting on a promotion decision, which unfortunately won't make much difference (HE salaries have basically stalled for years) especially as pension contributions have gone up so I take home less than I did before at the moment! But if I do end up with more takehome pay I'll feed it for now into my house budget, and later into OPs.

Also in my mind is that it's now 2 years since XH & I separated so we will be starting the legal side of things soon. It shouldn't be a major issue, except that it is of course a major issue and bound to have an impact emotionally if nothing else...

Karmacat

Hello Hazelnutty sounds like there's a lot of medium-term waiting for you - but I really admire the way you're balancing things and keeping your head *well* above the water. Great that you're ready to move on to the next stage of your life - and I really hope you manage to have an okay time tonight watching Eurovision - I'm not a Eurovision person either, wild horses etc, but between things stacked up on my dvd recorder and some dvd discs, I've plenty of choice, plus I need to actually catch up on my sleep!

Hazelnutty

Hello everyone!

Can't believe almost 4 months has gone by since I last checked in! I've taken a few much-needed days off work before DD goes back to school and so am back to try to get my MFW-ing and MSE-ing back on track!

It hasn't been the best few months money-wise. The column on my daily spending tracker for 'unbudgeted spends' was totally out of control and unfortunately the car had 3 pretty significant issues that needed resolving within a couple of weeks of each other (total bill £800+:eek:) But I can't just explain it away that way I think it's been a few things:

- end of school year means for the first time in 10 months I have some spare cash and can do things like pay off the holiday, maybe get the odd treat, except it's not the odd treat as I kick back and enjoy the freedom a little too much

- summer holidays come and we have holidays and holiday camps and time for trips out. I'm generally much more relaxed on spending but also costs are higher as everyone's around all the time (plus I don't want to say no all the time) A little bit of retail therapy if I'm honest too...

- DD's making noises about how her bedroom at her Dad's is nicer, wants to move into the smaller spare room and update it to be more grown up. This really pulls at the heartstrings because I really don't want her to change her main place of residence (plus he'd need a nanny or something as he can't be around for all the school runs etc). So I ended up paying quite a lot to do the move (done secretly by OH while I was away with DD) - new stuff for the room, lots of DIY. She loves it, which is great but it has really added up

Anyway, I skipped my regular OP for the first time since I remortgaged, twice now and I've had to take money out of savings to cover the additional costs, especially the car and some security measures for the house as there have been some burglaries and nuisance recently.

The only planned big cost coming up is the balance of the Christmas break (c. £240) and there's some travelling to events I've already got tickets for, but I really feel I need to get mentally back in the right frame of mind. It doesn't help that OH has brain surgery in September so I'll be a carer too for a while. Good news is that I recently got promoted which is quite a jump in salary (although doesn't kick in until October).

Anyway, I wanted people's advice on getting back on track with MSE ways after a faling-off or a period of difficulty. How do you mentally get in that frame of mind? How do you keep on track e.g. with rewards or incentives? What support have you found useful?

All ideas and tips welcome! Thanks in advance!

Karmacat

Oh my you've had a lot going on! But you've come back on here, and thats the first thing to do to get back on track. Then a new budget, or use the envelope system, whatever works for you. It's most difficult of all when you have *some* money, rather than when you have none. If you have none, you just can't spend on extras - it's learning how to buy extras that matters. That said, the spends you've mentioned all sound completely appropriate. And congratulations on the promotion, btw! Come back and start posting, that's it

Hazelnutty

Thanks, Karma

OH and I have just been to look at electric cars as I feel it's getting to be time to make the shift. We have charging points at work and some of the new models you can charge off a normal 3-pin plug. The house has a small built-in solar panel so during the summer it should be free or close to free to charge at home. I'm not in any hurry as I currently run an efficient Polo Blue GT but starting to look... Booked a test drive next week for the Kia E-Niro, which has a range of 280 miles combined, but the new VW ID range looks awesome too.

I think you're right, Karma, that some money is tricky! I think I get a little carried away with the first sniff of freedom!

One of the tasks we have for this weekend is to come up with a batch-cooking plan so the freezer's full for when OH goes into hospital. Might go foraging for blackberries in the park too. We've loved Jack Monroe's books (definitely recommend!) so will be turning there for some recipes.

Might go and sort through DD's latest pile of clothes to get rid of and see if there's a FB bundle to sell there. OH is not in the mood for doing things today but I really find it difficult to not be doing things! I feel a mass clear-out on the cards...:D

Hope you're having a good Saturday :cool:

Hazelnutty

Quick update: 2 bundles of DD's clothing sorted and listed. Only £10 but every little helps (if they sell, so many time-wasters on FB). New spare room (old DD room) a little tidier and a couple of bits to sort with her when she's back from Dad's. Resisted excursion for fish n chips or (OH's preference) all you can eat buffet so this is going to be an NSD :j (although a bit of a cheat one as I've ordered pay on collection vacuum bags from Argos )

OH is currently making Jack Monroe black bean stew less than £1 a portion I think. Settling in later for new Dark Crystal on Netflix. I have a trail running race thingie tomorrow so am definitely feet up as it's way further than I've run since my 20s

Hazelnutty

Hi all
So I did my 9.5m race yesterday (further than I've run since my 20s!) and survived Also resisted trip to the buffet/Sunday lunch/Burger King and other distractions/expenses. Total spend was £3.50 at the refreshments stall and £9.99 for the vacuum bags, so things are looking up!
Today DD and I took OH to walking netball, and both ended up joining in. It was actually pretty good for my aching muscles! Very successful trip to our favourite charity shop, dropping off 2 massive bags and finding a Superdry jacket (as good as new), a throw for the spare bed (to cat-hair-proof it), 3 books and a 5l petrol can :T My spend came to a handsome £6.50 :cool:
Bit of blackberry foraging this afternoon so will rustle up some crumbles with the dodgy looking apples in the veg cart.
Freezer spag bol for dinner.

In my off-the-wagon few months, I'd stopped TTing so that's started up again. It definitely helps coming on here regularly to check in. A bit of accountability I guess :A

Anyway, hope you're having a good Monday evening :):)

Hazelnutty

hello everyone!
So an unexpected looking after one of DD's classmates as her mum was stuck today. Luckily the Odeon Groupon offer thing popped up so I can take them to the cinema this afternoon:T I also had £5 Groupon credit after I bought something on a free £5 Costa voucher offer which they then didn't honour :mad: I'd rather have the coffee personally :rotfl: but it's come in handy today (although now, cheekily, you can't book tickets in the cinema you have to go online and pay an extra 75 per ticket grrrr). Now they're a bit older I can sit in the nice Costa in the cinema foyer though, bonus. Have bought some snacks they can smuggle in so all in all not too pricey an unexpected day. I do wish there was more of an incentive to take the bus though - even with my having an annual pass it still costs more to take two kids into town and back than to park.

A bit of unscheduled spending yesterday as took DD into town and we bought a crafting kit. I may also have returned an online order at Office for £16 then spent £22 in H&M But it was a good day overall.

One nice thing is one of my regular savers is maturing this month, then a 1-year bond. So will have the illusion of a healthy bank balance for a few days . Unfortunately the same products now are lower interest rate - checked MSE and can't beat them though so may just funnel the same money through again. I may not renew the bond though with the potential car swap ahead...

Hope you're having a good Wednesday :cool:

Hazelnutty

Hi everyone

In the last couple of days I've become obsessed with the money diaries on Refinery29! I'd heard about them a while ago (I think something in a newspaper about avocado-shaming of millenials) but hadn't checked them out. There's a whole UK series now. Inevitably, there is a massive range of personal circumstances but there's almost always something to be learned from the read and some are really funny.

But it has been quite a tough few days. OH has had two really bad episodes in the last few days when there would usually be a few months between them. She's basically non-functional during these times and it's really tough. I think it might be the upcoming surgery, but hard to know. Anyway, I cancelled the electric car test-drive and spent the morning cleaning as the housework has inevitably fallen off. Then I took DD into town. Returned one item to Superdry and two to H&M after an attack of conscience. I really shouldn't be buying new clothes. I don't need them and the money is much better spent elsewhere. Two months no OP needs to not become 3

Planning has started in earnest for OH's surgery and inpatient time, which is complicated as the hospital is 1.5 hours away. Friends are being amazing though and am very grateful One putting me up in the town for a couple of nights, others helping out with DD, another coming over with food when we get back home :A

Big shop tomorrow, including some stashing. Just discovered that Asda does the US Fanta flavours you almost never see in the UK, including my personal favourite grape! I have an American half-brother, who was stationed in the UK a 30+ years ago in the USAF. I still remember the grape sodas he bought on the base So in addition to the usual Aldi/Lidl shop there will be a stock-up of grape Fantas!:D It's a taste from the past. Oh and they're on sale :cool:

Listed an old Superdry jacket on FB that no longer zips over my boobs! No takers yet, or for the stuff listed last week I also want to sell one of my bikes but with the cycle to work schemes it's pretty hard to shift decent bikes second-hand.

Expenses came through for a talk I gave at a conference recently, so that's come straight off the CC. If I can get control of the CC then everything else becomes easier.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to do a trail race, then DD is off to play footy, followed by tea and cake with good friends, whose daughter has become a friend and teammate for DD. So it's great all round when we get to hang out with them.

Anyway, that's all for now. Hope people are having a good weekend,
Hazel xxx

Karmacat

Hazelnutty! That's a very big deal to have your OH undergo such an ordeal I'm glad your friends are helping so much. And that you've found the grape flavour fanta, from the sublime to the ridiculous grape flavour anything is always mentioned in American books, maybe it's mostly kept domestic because its so popular!