Once your kids are earning should you charge them Housekeeping?

25jsr

We have 2 daughters (21 & 20 yrs) living at home, they both have a take home pay of about £1000 a month . We charge them £150 a month each with them only having to pay for shampoo & deodorant, on top of this we regularly give them lifts to and from work & everything else is included. They give no help with cleaning, cooking & shopping & they both question how much they are paying. The younger daughter stays at her boyfriend's half of the time and is now saying she thinks she should pay no rent at all. The older one has a friend who regularly stays and also has dinner as well. Who is being unfair us or them?

thegirlintheattic

If the are under 18 then no, over 18 yes. It's gives them an idea about responsibility.

I paid housekeeping to my grandparents when I lived there, even when I was a student.

rising_from_the_ashes

25jsr wrote: »

We have 2 daughters (21 & 20 yrs) living at home, they both have a take home pay of about £1000 a month . We charge them £150 a month each with them only having to pay for shampoo & deodorant, on top of this we regularly give them lifts to and from work & everything else is included. They give no help with cleaning, cooking & shopping & they both question how much they are paying. The younger daughter stays at her boyfriend's half of the time and is now saying she thinks she should pay no rent at all. The older one has a friend who regularly stays and also has dinner as well. Who is being unfair us or them?

I'm sorry but I just can't believe the cheek!

£150 / month when they're earning very decent money is hardly anything to start with and now thinking this is too much! (That's less than £35/week!)

First of all, why are you still running them around in the car all the time? (and I assume free of charge) Once they're past the age of learning to drive / using public transport on their own, this should certainly have stopped (or at least be provided only if they're willing to contribute to the costs of running the car).

For the daughter who spends 1/2 her time at her boyfriends & doesn't think she should pay any rent - maybe gently point out that if she had her own place she wouldn't just be able to pay for the nights she used it.

For the other one, if her friend is going to stay & eat your food - maybe suggest that they buy groceries to cover the meals or pay a bit more in rent.

I'm sorry as I don't want to sound harsh but IMHO they are taking the "whatnot".

SailorSam

Gillyx wrote: »

When I lived at home with my dad, I didn't pay any "keep" My contribution was the housework, all washing/ironing, doing the food shop, making all dinners and packed lunches. I think it's about contributing, my dad didn't need me to give him money, but I realised he was short on time, so offered to do alot to help him out.

But you should be doing your share of the cooking; cleaning etc anyway. You're not excused it just 'cos you pay 'keep'.

patchwork_cat

Yes as long as they are on a proper wage, if eg the are an apprentice and on £100 p week, then it would be very little.

Marisco

SailorSam wrote: »

But you should be doing your share of the cooking; cleaning etc anyway. You're not excused it just 'cos you pay 'keep'.

Must agree with this! There were never any passengers on my ship, they learned to do things from a young age, which stood them in good stead when they got their own places! They both left home young anyway for work, so the question of board never came up. My daughter is very good at budgeting, and my son is useless!!! So I think it's more down to personalities, rather than if they pay board or not.

Callie22

I'm amazed at people who pay no keep, and those who get away with doing nothing at home! As soon as I was earning anything, I was expected to give half of it to my mum to help with the household expenses - so even when I was earning £5 or £10 for a night's babysitting at 14/15, half of that went to mum. You don't live for free in this world, and that was made very clear to me from quite a young age. On top of this I was expected to fully contribute to the running of the house in terms of washing, cooking and cleaning - again, it's was my home, not a hotel and there's no way I would have expected my mum to skivvy for me on top of her job.

Money was very tight in our house and when I left school at 18 and was earning a 'proper' wage, I was proud to contribute half my wage to the household and help my mum keep things going. I fully understood where 'my' money was going - to pay the mortgage, bills and for food - and I never had a problem with paying it. This wasn't *that* long ago and I really struggle to understand the mentality of young people who think that they shouldn't pay a penny to their parents out of their earnings. I think it's rude, spolit and ungrateful. It's also poor training, as once you move out you can't say to your landlord (or your bank) and the utilities companies that you're not going to pay your bills as it's 'not fair' that it takes so much of your wage!! Also, if you don't pay keep then it gives you a totally unrealistic idea of how much money you're going to have 'spare' each month once you start living on your own. It's no wonder so many young people end in up loads of debt, as I'd imagine it's very, very hard to get used to spending less on treats and luxuries every month once you've got used to blowing your whole wage on yourself.

VJW87

I paid £100 a month from a bursary of £375, I also bought a lot of my own food, done a lot of cooking and housework. Also paid for things like my own computer/ipod/clothes etc. and I think I benefited from this, understanding the value of money more. I also went to pay the bills for my mum when classes would allow, thus learning that boy o boy gas and electricity are expensive so maybe I should switch that thing off when I'm done! My mum was 'forced' out to work at 15 so she wanted me to get the best start in life while also knowing the value of a quid!

My husband had to pay his keep too, but would usually get it back in the form of take aways at the weekend, travelling expenses etc. His other brother didn't pay anything and has NO concept of managing money whatsoever. It scares me that 'adults' can get to their mid-twenties and the only expense they're used to paying is a mobile phone bill and designer clothes (still managing to get themselves in debt with this!!).

Katinkka

My dad never charged me. He mentioned it a few times but he got the stone face! lol :P He wasn't bothered and gave me extra too. I think it's worth pointing out though that, I wasn't a nuisance and was considerate to him.

SailorSam

I was watching Bbc breakfast this morning and they spoke to a 7yr old girl in India who worked in the local dump sorting out any rubbish which she could sell, she told the reporter that she could earn 50p a day. They didn't say how much of this she was allowed to spend on herself or how much she needed to give to her Mum, but i think we can all guess the answer.
We're all very lucky in this Country, including our children who have to pay for their keep as they get older.