How to slow down?

A_Simple_Home

I work from home (very part time). I have plenty of time for housework, gardening etc, but I am in such a flap all the time that nothing gets down. When I do start something, I get anxious and rush it. I can never seem to relax and do something properly. A good example is cooking. I rush, make a total mess and then feel stressed:mad:.

Help?

-taff

Make a list of things you ned to do. Put a time for doing each item agasint it, then double it because things always take longer than you think they will, and you know then you have that much time to do whatever it is in. Check when you're halfway through doing, slow down if you're taking too little time.
Prioritise items on your list for the whole week, not just one day, do immediate things first, do things that can wait later in the week.

[Deleted User]

Right sit down with a cuppa and a biscuit and a notebook and make a list of to-do things, and been done things , and try to say to yourself 'today I am going to do ???' whatever, and when its done treat yourself to something you enjoy doing.

I am not mad keen on ironing but will do say half an hour with a treat of half an hour reading my book

It's not the end of the world if its not all done, and if I fell under a bus it would never be finished so its a case of pacing yourself and doing what makes you feel good.

When I am cooking I will perhaps make a slightly larger amount than I need and freeze some in portions for another day .

Same if I am making scones I will make a larger batch of dough and wrap and freeze some in portions to get out and cook as and when I feel like it. I live alone so don't need 24 scones in one go

Be kind to yourself, and it will help you to destress if you work out what's getting you in a flap.

Is it you have too much expectations of yourself ?

I have an order from my DGD for another 4 dozen off knitted baby balls I shall do two at a time per day. I don't feel like trying to sit here knitting furiously for the next three weeks ,she will get them when I feel like it and not before

True she has a waiting list of people who want to buy them ,but if they are keen enough they will wait their turn :):)

Relax and go with the flow, as life is for enjoying and not worrying about I used to stress dreadfully once upon a time then as I got older I realised its only making me feel bad and no one else, so now I take time to go for a walk ,look at the flowers, and smell the coffee

I am certainly never going to stress about the insignificant things in life anymore I am at the age when I have more years behind me than in front so what I have left I am going to enjoy

JackieO xx

YorksLass

I agree with JackieO - life is for living and enjoying, not stressing about anything and everything! Sometimes we're our own worst enemy and place high expectations on ourselves. Remember, no-one's perfect.

There are some things I do every day (eg make meals, clear up, make the bed etc) but everything else gets done as and when. Right now I have some ironing to do but it isn't urgent so it will get done when I feel like it. Do I feel guilty? NO.

In the evening I write down three things (over and above the must-do-s) that I want to do the next day and concentrate on those. If they're done, great. If not, there's always tomorrow.

And yes, you should include a daily treat for yourself. Remember - all work and no play etc

PollyWollyDoodle

I agree that lists are the way to go, but keep them realistic - I wonder if you're just expecting too much of yourself? I also work part-time from home. When I gave up full-time work I honestly thought that I'd have redecorated the whole house by now, that the garden would be under control, housework done etc ... I've had to adjust my expectations, because I don't want to work that hard.

trulymadlyhannah

I found mindfulness and minimalism really help me with this! Most people think minimalism is an aesthetic (and some interpret it like that) but its more about intentionality for me! Having said that, often the by-product of minimalism is having less 'stuff', and that does cut down on cleaning/maintaining it which saves valuable time, and having a clutter-free space helps me focus on the other things too!

Minimalism for me is all about saying 'No' to the things that don't matter, and really focusing on the things that do! I.E ignoring the ironing for a day, and making sure I sit down and really enjoy the little things in life. Like sitting down to savour a hot drink, rather than leaving it to go cold and finding a half-full cup in the microwave the next day!

Its such a nice feeling being able to say 'No', both to other people and to the never-ending jobs list in my head, and to be content with what I have done. A positive mindset plays a huge part too. It sounds like you are being really hard on yourself and expecting a lot, though its a vicious circle isn't it? You stress which makes you get less done, which in turn makes you stress! I suffer from Anxiety too and know how it can completely take over your life. The most important thing is that you are making time for the things you enjoy. If you don't enjoy cooking, keep it really simple or look for ways to make it easier so you can do more of the things you do enjoy!

I've got two books on my to-read list that are all about mindfulness - one called 'make your bed' and another called 'the things you can only see when you slow down' - I will report back if they are good!

Hope this helps, and hope you are okay xx

GreyQueen

Another voice advocating for minimlism here.


Many people, including several work managers, have described me as having a very strong work ethic. How little they know me! I'm actually very lazy and only like to busy myself about things which are essential:


1. Earning a living, a single wumman has to make rent and eat.
2. Keeping my home above the dysentry line.
3. Gathering food supplies and consuming same.
4. Feeding and watering social bonds.


Other than that, I only like doing what I like doing, which is chiefly drinking tea whilst lying on the couch reading detective novels, playing mud pies on the allotment, drinking tea or vino with pals whilst running my mouth and having a lorra laffs.


Please extend as much kindness to yourself as you would to a vulnerable friend. Embrace 'good enough', don't run your life with more than two errands/ appointments/ shopping destinations per day, give up ironing, and have a duster handy to pass to any housework-critical visitors who might blight your life.;)



Remember, don't run through life trying to do more-more-more, sit and think carefully, while drinking your hot beverage of choice, about how to do less-less-less. Don Aslett's books are great and the one about getting your house to do the housework is well worth borrowing from the library. HTH.

bexster1975

Hello A Simple Home

I hope it's clear by now you are in the right place

I also now work part time, not just at home but for myself only. I too thought I would become a domestic goddess, but not so much in the last month! As others have said, there are more important things in life. People to spend time with, places to see, books to read, tea to drink (GQ!). As long as your home is comfortable for you, I wouldn't worry.

Why not make something like cooking a self care task? By that I mean choose to make something you have always wanted to try. Doesn't matter how many you are feeding. It makes me sad when people say it hasn't worth cooking for one. If you can't treat yourself to a lovely meal, who will? I am enjoying doing what I like. I earn enough to pay the bills, plus a little fun money. Maybe the business will see me running a multi million pound enterprise within five years, but it matters not if it does or doesn't. ( to be fair if it does, I may just sell it for a squillion quid and sail off around the world!).

As others have said, be kind to yourself. Working part time at home, if it's a choice, should be a huge pleasure - one many would envy.

I hope you are less stressed, I have taken a great deal of pleasure in reading the responses here

Bexster

A_Simple_Home

Thanks all. Some great advice. My dad passed away 2 weeks ago and the house reflects my state of mind. A bit of a mess! The garden on the other hand looks great as I love gardening and it is my therapy. Decluttering the house and minimalizing my life is on my to do list!!

bexster1975

Sorry to hear of your very recent loss. Comments on here about being kind to yourself are doubly important at the moment then.

Enjoy your garden

Bexster

-taff

Sorry to hear that Simple Home. It's always a shock and grief can make your mind fly all over the place. Don't be too hard on yourself to get things done, just potter and be for a while. Take things at your own pace.