AA higher rate

toozie_2

Hi, sorry this is going to be a long post.

My parents live 5 mins away, dad is 93 and mum is 87, I am an only child.
Without going to details why, my dad became bed bound 3.5 years ago, he is in a hospital bed at home we have Carers x2 four times a day for his personal care, he is mentally as sharp as a button, prior to 3.5 years ago he was receiving AA standard. When he became bed bound I applied to increase it to the higher rate- which he receives.

He did the bulk of the cooking and cleaning so for the past years I have done the evening meal every night at my house and taken the food there.

My mum ran all finances so about 5 years ago and under the guise of her maybe breaking her writing hand or arm and couldn’t write a cheque she agreed for me to apply for a POA, both financial and medical. At this point I’ll also say mum has always been a difficult, angry, and fairly reculusive person, and would not under any curcumsatances see a GP and hadn’t done for 50 years.

The years passed mum was starting to forget things or not make sense when talking, my care there was increasing, and last November I had to give up work 4 days a week so I could do more caring and give dad medication 3 times a day etc, as it was by now being forgotten.

I was aware in my mind mum had dementia....she would not visit the GP. I went twice myself, and was told they couldn’t act until she became a danger to herself or others, although I live in a small town the GPS are excellent and he was very sympathetic.

Mum has deteriorated, neglecting to wash, change clothes at all, sleeps in same day time clothes etc. 6 weeks ago she fell, I managed to get her with great persuasion to A&E she had broken her wrist. After this the dementia (undiagnosed) got much worse, phone calls to us in the night etc.
My dads physical health has taken a turn for the worse, think deep down he’s worrying about mum, I’ve had to dial 999 twice in the last month, issues to do with bladder and bowel. They’ve fitted a catheter and things seem better now fir a bit. During this time I begged the GP to use my POA to get mum assessed as I needed more help, and the amazing Carers who come into dad (working for the local authority) wanted me to get their care package extended to include mum, as she can’t be left there alone with no care if I had to go in with dad.

So...eventually and really unknown to her, a psychiatrist came out, I have the written diagnosis of moderate dementia and a joint care package is going to be out in place soon for both. I’ll still have to do much of the day to day work but they can try and help mum with personal care etc.

Sorry for the really long story...but it actually feels good to write part of it down!

My questions aren’t:

1/ I thought I’d apply now for AA for mum, do I fill in the form as a POA and enclose a copy, or do I fill it in as if I am her, but sign it and send the POA with a covering letter?

2./ she would not be able to live there alone my dad has an alerter on his wrist and he presses that if she falls (twice recently) and I go immediately I get the call. Could I apply straight for the high rate of AA? Obviously this would be going to her bank account

3/ the letters would obviously all go out to her, this worries me as she is adamant there is nothing wrong with her at all, and gets angry and screams if I suggest outside help etc. I know she would never let it drop if a letter arrived to state she had been awarded AA, as she wouldn’t accept she needs the extra care it could pay for. Is there a way DWP would change her address to mine ( things just in her name)

4/ back in November when I had to drop my work days to one (the one day keeps me same!) I didn’t bother or think about Carers Allowence for me, my earnings for 1 day are under the threshold I’ve just checked, so I would qualify for CA. If I applied for CA for my dad (mum never got the care component because they have lots of savings) would a letter go to their house to say I have applied....because mum believes she does all the caring and would go mad if she thought I was getting money she could have...she would not be able to understand the system at all

Hope you guys can help?

Thank you

pearl123

toozie wrote: »

Hi, sorry this is going to be a long post.

My parents live 5 mins away, dad is 93 and mum is 87, I am an only child.
Without going to details why, my dad became bed bound 3.5 years ago, he is in a hospital bed at home we have Carers x2 four times a day for his personal care, he is mentally as sharp as a button, prior to 3.5 years ago he was receiving AA standard. When he became bed bound I applied to increase it to the higher rate- which he receives.

He did the bulk of the cooking and cleaning so for the past years I have done the evening meal every night at my house and taken the food there.

My mum ran all finances so about 5 years ago and under the guise of her maybe breaking her writing hand or arm and couldn’t write a cheque she agreed for me to apply for a POA, both financial and medical. At this point I’ll also say mum has always been a difficult, angry, and fairly reculusive person, and would not under any curcumsatances see a GP and hadn’t done for 50 years.

The years passed mum was starting to forget things or not make sense when talking, my care there was increasing, and last November I had to give up work 4 days a week so I could do more caring and give dad medication 3 times a day etc, as it was by now being forgotten.

I was aware in my mind mum had dementia....she would not visit the GP. I went twice myself, and was told they couldn’t act until she became a danger to herself or others, although I live in a small town the GPS are excellent and he was very sympathetic.

Mum has deteriorated, neglecting to wash, change clothes at all, sleeps in same day time clothes etc. 6 weeks ago she fell, I managed to get her with great persuasion to A&E she had broken her wrist. After this the dementia (undiagnosed) got much worse, phone calls to us in the night etc.
My dads physical health has taken a turn for the worse, think deep down he’s worrying about mum, I’ve had to dial 999 twice in the last month, issues to do with bladder and bowel. They’ve fitted a catheter and things seem better now fir a bit. During this time I begged the GP to use my POA to get mum assessed as I needed more help, and the amazing Carers who come into dad (working for the local authority) wanted me to get their care package extended to include mum, as she can’t be left there alone with no care if I had to go in with dad.

So...eventually and really unknown to her, a psychiatrist came out, I have the written diagnosis of moderate dementia and a joint care package is going to be out in place soon for both. I’ll still have to do much of the day to day work but they can try and help mum with personal care etc.

Sorry for the really long story...but it actually feels good to write part of it down!

My questions aren’t:

1/ I thought I’d apply now for AA for mum, do I fill in the form as a POA and enclose a copy, or do I fill it in as if I am her, but sign it and send the POA with a covering letter?

2./ she would not be able to live there alone my dad has an alerter on his wrist and he presses that if she falls (twice recently) and I go immediately I get the call. Could I apply straight for the high rate of AA? Obviously this would be going to her bank account

3/ the letters would obviously all go out to her, this worries me as she is adamant there is nothing wrong with her at all, and gets angry and screams if I suggest outside help etc. I know she would never let it drop if a letter arrived to state she had been awarded AA, as she wouldn’t accept she needs the extra care it could pay for. Is there a way DWP would change her address to mine ( things just in her name)

4/ back in November when I had to drop my work days to one (the one day keeps me same!) I didn’t bother or think about Carers Allowence for me, my earnings for 1 day are under the threshold I’ve just checked, so I would qualify for CA. If I applied for CA for my dad (mum never got the care component because they have lots of savings) would a letter go to their house to say I have applied....because mum believes she does all the caring and would go mad if she thought I was getting money she could have...she would not be able to understand the system at all

Hope you guys can help?

Thank you

I suggest you also post this up on alzheimers uk forum and maybe carers uk form. You need all the advice you can get IMHO.