DMP mutual support thread part 13 !!

Suseka97

Marble030509 wrote: »

...... Aside from that do you think the letter is ok to send? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Yes, looks good to me and clearly states the situation and your intentions - so go for it

Trying to stay on top of it the best we can, it causes us a stress most evenings after work opening letters and not paying bills but we are slowly getting using to it. Our main panic is not paying anything until September, makes me feel sick that we have all this debt hanging over us and we won't be doing anything to reduce it for another 6 months. But like you have said before it is all about mindset, i just have to start thinking in that way. I'm sure it will come.

This is perfectly normal, I felt very much the same at the beginning of my DMP all those years ago. It's not a situation you ever imagined you'd be in - but life happens. The mindset thing is about coming to terms with the situation, but more importantly to remove any feelings of guilt and focus on your debt free journey. You are now in control of your financial future.

Thank you once again. You've have been a real help over the past few weeks.

Comments above and thank you for your kind words and I'm glad to be of help where I can

NewbieNat

MK-4 wrote: »

Hi,

I read often but don't normally post as there are many more knowledgeable people on here.

Had the same problem yesterday (Sunday) and today (Monday) logged on ready to call SC. Checked the budget and made a few very small changes (£13 reduction) and the budget was accepted!
Was this due to being inside work hours today? I had the phone in front of me ready to call and did not expect this to work?



Hope yours works out the same.

Hi MK-4

I completed my review by 'phone and it was fine :-)

The reason for me was that I have been making token payments up until now and it would have taken over 20 years to pay off my debts! Any DMP over 10 years triggers a phone call apparently. It's now reduced to 5 years :j Well done on your online review - onwards and upwards from now :T

Nat

Moneyworries1

Hi there I’m new to all this - one minute I’m feeling positive about it all and the next I just burst into tears and feel like I want to explode. Which is mainly down to guilt.
I owe just over 11k and up until this last month I’ve been paying the min payments fine, but thanks to buy now pay later on Very, I suddenly realised I can’t do it anymore! I thought this is never going to go. I’ll be in debt forever.
My partner has no clue and that’s what eats me up the most. I can no way tell him. Our finances are separate and he gets extremely stressed over the slightest bit of debt so he would go absolutely mad and 100% leave me. We have two little children so couldn’t do that to them. Knowing I was the one that ripped the family apart, I just don’t think I could live with myself.
My DMP through Stepchange starts 1st April, it’s manageable and should take around 5 years to be debt free. On one hand I feel relieved I’m doing something about it, and on the other I can’t stop panicking about debt collectors and phone calls and letters. I’ve told my mum and she’s the only person who knows, only because I couldn’t keep the tears in one day. She’s been a big help and it’s nice to have a shoulder - but she can’t fully understand the sickness I feel.
I have 7 creditors, three of them have been in touch already and have stopped interest and the minimum payments due are perfectly in line with the suggested payment from Stepchange. Some haven’t been in contact at all yet, but Barclaycard don’t seem to be very happy. They may be just sending automatic letters which I understand but I’ve already had at least three, and on a new statement they’re are requesting a normal minimum payment even though they have added no interest. I also received a default notice today. So this has got me all upset again worrying about debt collectors.
How do I deal with the guilt? Do things ever settle down? Will I ever not be worried checking the post or is this going to continue for the next 5 years?! And I haven’t even got through one month yet 😔

Suseka97

Moneyworries1 wrote: »

.....How do I deal with the guilt? Do things ever settle down? Will I ever not be worried checking the post or is this going to continue for the next 5 years?! And I haven’t even got through one month yet 😔

Firstly, hello and welcome

Okay - the way you feel is perfectly normal and many on here can testify to that (myself included). Guilt is a natural emotion, but one that you need to set aside now.

So, you're not where you would expect to be in your life, in terms of debt, but you are where you are and you have now taken control. It's early days, but things will settle down - yes - and in a few months from now, once everything is up and running you'll feel a whole lot better. Stop fretting about debt collectors, because that's simply not going to be an issue for you. Debt collectors only get involved when companies call them in because a debtor refuses to pay -and you are not in that position. Also, a DMP is an informal arrangement, not one organised by a court where again bailiffs could get involved if you had a repayment plan set by the them and wasn't paying.

You will get letters and you will get phone calls - so be prepared for those. If you don't want either, worrying that your partner might find out, then you could contact your creditors and give them your email address and tell them that all correspondence has to be communicated that way. You can also block calls.

It doesn't matter if Barclaycard are unhappy (as you say) SC will simply send the agreed payment and they'll take that payment. Anyway - it's Mothers Day today and so a day to put aside your debt worries and focus on the family. You are now on the road to debt freedom

Lifeisforliving19

Just a quick question....trying to get quotes to renew house insurance and the cheapest one coming up is with Halifax. It says that you get £50 cash back after 3 months, provided you pay etc etc. Some of our debts are with Halifax...are they likely to realise that and not send us the £50 and try to use it against the debts? I'm sure they wouldn't but you never know.

Moneyworries1

Thank you so much!! You’re totally right I’m sure I’ll feel better about things the further on I get. I have good days and bad days atm. So happy I found this forum... and Stepchange! It’s comforting in a way to know I’m not alone and others are going through this too. Roll on the next 5 years 🙄

sourcrates

Lifeisforliving19 wrote: »

Just a quick question....trying to get quotes to renew house insurance and the cheapest one coming up is with Halifax. It says that you get £50 cash back after 3 months, provided you pay etc etc. Some of our debts are with Halifax...are they likely to realise that and not send us the £50 and try to use it against the debts? I'm sure they wouldn't but you never know.

You are best avoiding creditors with whom you have outstanding debts altogether, it can create a conflict of interest, and you risk them not paying out should you make a claim.


COOP are giving away £50 worth of food vouchers at present with new home and contents policies, if you dont owe them money, there a much safer bet.

sourcrates

Moneyworries1 wrote: »

How do I deal with the guilt? Do things ever settle down? Will I ever not be worried checking the post or is this going to continue for the next 5 years?! And I haven’t even got through one month yet 😔

You need to relax and chill out, none of us ever set out to be in this position, but circumstances have led you to where you are now, so lose the guilt, you need to start dealing with the new face of things, things such as :


Defult notices - nothing to worry about, and are a requirement under the consumer credit act.


Debt collectors - again, nothing to worry about, once the DMP is up and running, they won`t` be on the agenda, unless occasionally a creditor assigns or puts your account out to managemnet of a DCA, again, all perfectly normal, the payments just go to them instead.


Creditors - they are neither happy nor sad, they are obliged to treat you fairly, and in accordance with your budget, creditors who say what your paying them is insufficiant, will normally sell on the debt to another company, they will contact you, and will probebly not know about the DMP, so you will have to inform stepchange, and also send a letter yourself to them as a back up.


Creditor contact - automated letters and phone calls, all made or sent by computer, and they may continue until someone tells it to stop sending them, i have a big blue bin for garbage such as this, i expect you do too.

Moneyworries1

Thank you. My head is just all over atm. Tbh actually having the debt doesn’t bother me so much, I feel reassured that what will be will be and it will get paid the quickest by doing it this way.
My main problem is the guilt regarding my partner not knowing. I can manage the payments on my own, I don’t need to tell him and I just can’t. It would change everything and throw the last 15 years down the drain. We’ve been in a similar situation many years ago but no where near as bad (about 1.5k), he paid it off and made me promise not to get anymore catalogs or anything again. Trust is a big thing for him and telling him would be worse then me cheating! But I’ve just got to suck it up and try and put it to the back of my mind!

Billy12345

Just had to share some good news....:j

Came back from a short cheeky holiday and to a voicemail from the FOS. Called them back and guess what......R******er, my last creditor, have agreed to issue my default on my loan with them.:j The lady at the FOS said because I had been unable to pay them the "minimum contracted amount" for over 2 years and there was no sign of being able to pay the minimum amount then she agreed that it would be unfair for my account not to be defaulted.

However, and this was a surprise but, the FOS have NO powers to force a company to issue a default to a consumer but only to advise. This I didn't know so even though the FOS agreed with me R******er could have still said no.

Thankfully R******er agreed to issue the default but only from now and not backdated..so good result but will take a further 18 months to drop off my credit file.

That means everything is defaulted now and will drop off my file by 2024 at the latest.
Now back to sorting out the cases and mountains of clothes to wash :beer: