Should i accept gift?

katie4

long story short
I have made a complaint against co worker for ongoing issues that suddenly escalated to a verbal comment that I took very seriously and it upset me a lot
This person is now on leave but I returned to find a gift from them for my child's birthday, usually she does buy gifts for them, and I am guessing she had already bought this prior to the situation escalating but I really don't want to accept it, and most of my co workers have said they wouldn't but some are saying I am spiting my child by not giving it.


I don't know what I should do, option one put it back in her desk drawer or option two take it?

Comms69

katie4 wrote: »

long story short
I have made a complaint against co worker for ongoing issues that suddenly escalated to a verbal comment that I took very seriously and it upset me a lot
This person is now on leave but I returned to find a gift from them for my child's birthday, usually she does buy gifts for them, and I am guessing she had already bought this prior to the situation escalating but I really don't want to accept it, and most of my co workers have said they wouldn't but some are saying I am spiting my child by not giving it. - You're discussing this situation with your colleagues? Do you not enjoy having paid employment?!


I don't know what I should do, option one put it back in her desk drawer or option two take it?

I'd not worry about the gift and be much more worried what happens when she returns from leave and finds out you've been speaking to the office behind her back.

Undervalued

katie4 wrote: »

long story short
I have made a complaint against co worker for ongoing issues that suddenly escalated to a verbal comment that I took very seriously and it upset me a lot
This person is now on leave but I returned to find a gift from them for my child's birthday, usually she does buy gifts for them, and I am guessing she had already bought this prior to the situation escalating but I really don't want to accept it, and most of my co workers have said they wouldn't but some are saying I am spiting my child by not giving it.


I don't know what I should do, option one put it back in her desk drawer or option two take it?

Sorry to be harsh but I'd try growing up!

sangie595

I'd agree with Comms69. If you have an issue with this person then discussing it around the office is the fastest way to be up on a disciplinary for bullying. If you've made a complaint, leave it to managers to sort it out. Your job is to act like a professional in work, and holding straw polls about people you can't get on with behind their backs isn't professional. In her shoes I'd be livid. Any dispute between the two of you should stay that way, not drag in the rest of the office. And actually, it's only work, so I'd recommend finding some better ways of managing work than talking about each other behind backs and letting personal stuff get in the way of business. Otherwise, one or both of you might find that what to do with a gift is small fry compared to "how to explain to the DWP why you got sacked".

gettingtheresometime

If she buys for your child then I guess the 2 of you were pretty close once.


So could it be a peace offering?

ohreally

katie4 wrote: »

I have made a complaint against co worker for ongoing issues that suddenly escalated to a verbal comment that I took very seriously and it upset me a lot

To provide context, what was said?

Marcon

ohreally wrote: »

To provide context, what was said?

Who cares? Growing a thicker skin and not overreacting to things, whether comments or gifts for a child, sounds like a good idea for OP.

shortcrust

Wow. Sounds like a really horrible workplace.

LilElvis

katie4 wrote: »

but some are saying I am spiting my child by not giving it.

Your child won't know about the gift unless you tell them about it, so that issue shouldn't form part of your decision-making.

Brynsam

A phrase involving the words 'mountains' and 'molehills' springs to mind here.

xapprenticex

I'd take the gift and put it aside at home, top of wardrobe, somewhere out of the way.



When she returns and decides to bring it up and use it against me, id simply bring it in the next day and hand it to the individual, no fuss, no words.



If we ended up making amends, my child would then receive the present.



The way you are going about it will probably cause issues.