Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to pay off our mortgage with our son's winnings?

ska_lover

No, it is not right

He may never get to higher education due to your decision

you may die when he is 60 + ..and he never get the opportunities that youth offers but will inherit when you die..what will he do with it then, after he has lived the main part of his life????

To do any other is self serving - give him HIS money - the family member whom gave him the money - they did it for HIM not to save you a few quid on interest rate

Pfft

Alexh747

Hi all,

I submitted the original question HOWEVER, it was significantly edited by the MSE forum team!

It’s obviously hypothetical, so if that offends you then feel free not to comment!

What I was asking was along these lines... “how would you best use the money to improve the upbringing of our child, perhaps by paying off the mortgage??” Not “can I steal my child’s money”

I think most would agree that using his money (and of course I know it’s would be his not mine!) to pay for a private education, that we otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford, would be acceptable.

I would also suggest that, bigger, better more exotic family holidays would ultimately be of great benefit to our son. Along the same lines as ‘it’s worth taking them out of school for a great holiday that we couldn’t afford during the school hols’

To do either, we could spend (his) winnings or, having paid off the mortgage use our wages.

But heres where the debate really started when discussing with friends..

Paying off the mortgage would also allow us to not to have to work all the hours God sends to support the family. We could reduce our working hours, go part time etc etc and spend much more time together as a family. Combined with the overall reduced stress of life I think this would be of great benefit to our son.

Legal ramifications aside, how would you use your child’s money to improve their life?

Investing and doing nothing until he’s 16/18/25/whatever would seem like a wasted opportunity to improve HIS life.

Thanks for reading, please be gentle!

Pollycat

If your child's grandparents had wished for you to choose how to spend the money for the benefit of your child, they would have discussed it with you instead of buying premium bonds.

marliepanda

You want your son to pay for his own fancy holidays, and take you along for the ride.

You want your son to pay for you to have an easier work/life balance. Oh but its only to make his life better, not yours.

You're a saint, truly.

Alexh747

Pollycat wrote: »

If your child's grandparents had wished for you to choose how to spend the money for the benefit of your child, they would have discussed it with you instead of buying premium bonds.

Not sure I understand this, surely as the parent it’s my responsibility to spend/invest the money for the benefit of the child?

How would you do it?

Alexh747

marliepanda wrote: »

You want your son to pay for his own fancy holidays, and take you along for the ride.

You want your son to pay for you to have an easier work/life balance. Oh but its only to make his life better, not yours.

You're a saint, truly.

Certainly not claiming to be a saint, of course I benefit, but so too does my son? What would you do with the money? Invest and do nothing until they’re 18? Seems a wasted opportunity to me?

marliepanda

Alexh747 wrote: »

Certainly not claiming to be a saint, of course I benefit, but so too does my son? What would you do with the money? Invest and do nothing until they’re 18? Seems a wasted opportunity to me?

How is it a wasted opportunity for him to have a nest egg to start his adult life?

SamJones

Certainly not. His money. His choices

Alexh747

marliepanda wrote: »

How is it a wasted opportunity for him to have a nest egg to start his adult life?

Wasted in the sense that he could be benefitting from the money for the next 18 years - and still have the nest egg to start his adult life.

My own father was never at home when I was growing up, always working, presented with a reverse of the circumstances an 18 year old me would have defintely preferred him to be around more.

marliepanda

Alexh747 wrote: »

Wasted in the sense that he could be benefitting from the money for the next 18 years - and still have the nest egg to start his adult life.

My own father was never at home when I was growing up, always working, presented with a reverse of the circumstances an 18 year old me would have defintely preferred him to be around more.

Where is the nest egg going to come from? Youre going to remortgage once he hits 18? What if your finances don't support that?

18 year old you doesnt get to make decisions about your childs money. Maybe he will get to 18 and think 'Im not bothered about all those holidays I cant really remember, I wish I could buy my own house or go to Uni comfortably... or buy a fast car.'

At the end of the day its not you money. Ask granny and grandad for some premium bonds if you want to have a shot at it as well, or better yet, buy your own.