Depressed at Work - Can I quit?

BukowskiGirl

Hi everyone,

Looking for advice please. I have suffered depression for about a decade now, but only truly admitted such seven years ago. I have been taking anti-depressants on/off since the start of 2015. The week before last I decided they make me feel worse and gave them up. I feel I should explain I haven't recovered in the slightest, only ever deteriorated until this year has been my worst yet. Part of the issue is no doctor diagnosing me, they're all too happy to prescribe different anti-Ds and get you out of the room, but I've never even had a doctor properly ask me what's going on, at one point I even thought I was bipolar but no one cared, just wrote another poxy prescription.

Early June I got signed off work due to my 'mental health issues'. Since then I have been struggling, I was off for much longer than I expected but the doctor prescribed sick notes easily. I could not afford to be off but ended up off and anxious so long I got onto SSP, not much money at all. Without any guidance or treatment aside from another different anti-D prescription, I have wasted the summer hiding out in my house with my two cats who are all I have keeping me going right now.

I did manage to get back to work recently but today I called in sick again. I have no idea where to go from here. Despite the depression dating way before my current job, I feel now it would be impossible for me to go back there, makes me feel sick thinking about it (I want to reiterate my job is not the cause of my depression, I have problems underlying this but the job has pressure and you must be polite and bubbly at all times, many targets to focus on at once). So I have no idea what to do, and of course need to make some kind of decision before tomorrow as I am due in again. I feel too down and anxious to go through the whole doctors - sick note - calling in sick cycle and would rather just quit. At least then I would have no option but to take on any job that pays the bills (or become homeless) but at least without the targets, so I can work while recovering.

I don't believe the government would help me. I am single with two cats and private renting, however I have a roommate who works full time so I believe I would be told I'm not entitled as someone works full time in the property. No idea. Don't even know who one would ask about that. Shall I just quit? It would be a weight off my mind to be free of the job, but with times being as they are I may struggle to get employment straight away.

Please help! Any advice / stories would be much appreciated. To be honest, I feel like time totally off work would be my only option to focus on recovery, but I can't see how this would be an option. I've no savings, only student debt. I'm scared.

Comms69

You would be entitled to benefits; your room mate isn’t a partner I assume and therefore you don’t live as one household.

Your entitlement wouldn’t be high though; at a rough estimate around £600 a month.

marliepanda

Comms69 wrote: »

You would be entitled to benefits; your room mate isn’t a partner I assume and therefore you don’t live as one household.

Your entitlement wouldn’t be high though; at a rough estimate around £600 a month.

The OP could be sanctioned for up to 6 months for quitting a job...

Are you in a UC area Bukowskigirl?

Comms69

marliepanda wrote: »

The OP could be sanctioned for up to 6 months for quitting a job...

Are you in a UC area Bukowskigirl?

For sure, I meant more looking ahead.


There's really no reason to quit, they'll sack him/her sooner or later


Atleast take the SSP (and keep accruing holiday) whilst you can

Robin9

[QUOTE=BukowskiGirl;74756411_The_week_before_last_I_decided_they_make_me_feel_worse_and_gave_them_up._[/QUOTE]

Please don't do this - my wife, in conjunction with her doctor, weaned herself off the anti-depressants. She went downhill rapidly and she had a terrible few months - panic attacks, suicidal thoughts ..........

We found a private Psychologist who came to our home. He said two things happen when you come off anti-depressants 1) you get get better or 2) you get very much worse.

He doubled her dosage and after a few months she got back on an even keel. She will take tablets for the rest of her life.

elsien

Don't quit. You can make the decision not to return if that makes it easier to cope with in your own mind, but wait for any move they make to dismiss on capability grounds due to your illness so there is less impact on any benefits you might need to claim.
Do they have an occupational health department? Would reduced hours or any other adjustments help at all?

If you claim sickness benefits, whether through ESA or universal credit, depending on area, you will still need to provide sicknotes and have assessments so that side of it may not be much easier for you. If you are only on SSP you may be entitled to other help as well, so that is certainly worth looking into further. There may also be housing benefit/council tax benefit etc.

With regards to what you may get, run some figures through entitled to or turn to us to get a rough idea. Or some areas have advice services that can point you in the right direction and help with form filling. Don't presume you won't get anything because that's unlikely to be the case.

Does your doctor know how you feel about not getting any help other than medication? You could either take someone else with you to help you explain, or write it down beforehand to give to them if you struggle to explain face to face. Or send a letter before your next appointment.
MH support isn't easy to come by, but they should at least be exploring other options with you if that's what you want, if only to rule them out.

BukowskiGirl

Hi, thanks so much for your comment! It's quite tricky - he's not a partner no but he was when we moved in last year, so we have a tenancy agreement with both our names on. Not sure if this makes any difference, the estate agents funnily enough are aware we are no longer together as we notified them because I was intending to move out but then my mood deteriorated, got signed off, withdrew into myself and it never happened. My ex also works full time but due to his numerous outgoings (mainly based around his car) he's also broke all the time, so we are amicable as we're aware neither of us can now afford to go anywhere.

The whole benefits claiming process seems quite complicated though, and as ridiculous as it seems I don't even think I'm up to that right now, I'm amazed I'm attempting to articulate these issues in such detail, even if it is anonymously online, it's a huge step forward for me as I have no one personally I can turn to for advice. I think I'll give it a miss on the benefits then and just claim SSP for at least a couple more days while I try and figure things out further. Thank you again!

elsien

Some areas have a mental health advocacy service. This generally needs a referral from a professional such as a GP. but that could be someone who would be able to help with challenging the GP over your concerns and supporting you through the benefits process.
As a starting point ,just run your postcode through here and see what it says. Then, if and when you do need to take things further you can come back for more support if you want to.

https://ucpostcode.entitledto.co.uk/ucdate

BukowskiGirl

My doctor really doesn't seem to care about MH issues, it's so weird, to the point where looking back with hindsight I blame myself for being naive and not knowing what to say, not knowing what to ask. I feel fobbed off by doctors to be honest, and offended no one has cared. For years they did ask if I wanted to 'talk to someone' but as I was so naive I literally thought they meant just that - talking to someone, and I didn't see the point. What I have now learnt is that I should have said YES, because the people they refer one to actually do specialize in MH and they can carry out questionairres to help diagnose MH issues - no doctor had ever told me that, literally never. I thought, because I am a child still I think, that the DOCTOR should diagnose you and know what treatment is best - even if it does regard mental health!
I only learnt about the mental health questionairre fro the occupational health lady I had to speak to after my first month signed off. Talking to her really gave me some clarity and I knew to ask for the referral to 'speak to somebody'. It's slow going though around here, I've had an initial assessment via phone and it'll be 6-8 weeks before hearing back in order to see someone face to face. I was hoping to have helped myself by then but... Robin9's comment rings very true. I thought I was going to be OK for the first few days I stopped, then rapidly downhill so I will have to buck up to go and ask for some other anti-D I haven't tried yet. I feel like I'll be on them for life too, have already been on them for years and it's all over the place. I'm 25 now and I can't seem to grasp it all, I can finally consider myself and my thoughts, emotions, finally am able to articulate it a little even if it is ramblings (sorry!) so I know I'm making progress in a way even if it doesn't feel it.

I really appreciate all the comments, thank you all so much

elsien

Some doctors are idiots. Or lacking in empathy. Or both. Don't blame yourself for that. Anti D's can keep you going while you look at what other help there might be. Now you're on the path towards that, it's too soon to say how long you might need them for. But you've made a start with other therapies which is definite progess.

Again, just for future reference because I don't want to bombard you with information, at some point you may want to check out if MIND offers anything in your area.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds.aspx

For now, just look after yourself as best you can. See the GP again if you need to. Phone Samaritan's if you need someone to offload to. They are there for anyone who needs a listening ear, not just those at the end of their tether. And they won't care how much sense you're making, if it helps you at all then that's fine.

117pauline

Please, please do not take any advice on this thread about your mental health and well-being.

If your usual doctor seems uninterested in your health, try a different doctor at your surgery.

Take a list of important facts with you when you get an appointment, if possible get a double one. I would include how long it has been going on, which tablets/dosage have worked or not, symptoms etc. Tell the doctor about your anxieties about work etc.

Most of us get flustered at the doctors and often minimise the symptoms. Your notes will help you and the doctor tremendously.

The occupational health person from your work sounds like a good support and may come up with some contacts or suggestions.

I know it takes some time to access mental health services but hang on in there. It will be worth it in the long run.

Personally I would take up the SSP whilst you make up your mind using a list of pros and cons. From my own painful personal experience, leaving work lead me to becoming a person who left the house once a week, only for a doctor's appointment and to buy food.

I wish you well whichever route you choose