Separation, where to live.

Cassius99

My girlfriend and I are separating. We are on fairly decent terms given that it only all finished in the last few weeks. We have a 3 year old child together so clearly the situation is quite difficult both emotionally and practically.

We own a house jointly, although I have always paid the mortgage and bills and the deposit was made up entirely of my own savings I have no issue with the fact that the proceeds of the sale will be split evenly, even if there were something that I could do in law to try and claw back more of the equity I wouldn’t want to leave my ex in financial difficulty after the sale.

My issue at the moment is that whilst I am paying the mortgage and bills on this property I have nowhere to live myself. The only reason we are getting on relatively well currently is because we are not under the same roof. If I returned then I have no doubt that the relationship would become very strained very quickly, so moving back in to the house even whilst it is sold is not an option.

I am looking at renting a flat but am caught by whether to pay as little as possible for a one bed place just for me and once the house is sold to then move elsewhere so I can have my daughter overnight, or whether I should be looking now to rent somewhere where I could have my daughter stay with me even if it will put me under some pressure financially until the house is sold.

I can see pros and cons to each of those choices and at the moment, as I cannot decide which approach to take I am finding that I cannot start searching for somewhere.

Like everything in this process so far, I find these simple sorts of problems really difficult to make a decision about so I was hoping someone who has been in the same position could offer their thoughts.

Thanks.

jonnygee2

House sales can take a long time at the moment. And it's a tough market, you could end up selling for less than you think etc.

So, until you know what is going to happen with the sale I'd be trying to stretch out your finances and rent somewhere as cheaply as possible.

Primrose

Property prices seem to be rather uncertain at the moment so getting a sale may take longer than you might plan for. Meanwhile money will be eroding which you might need later for your new home. .

I know you said you didn,t want to return to the house but could you and your girlfriend not come to an agreement about house sharing If you have more than one bedroom and just try to keep out of each other's way as much as possible?

Point out to her that the more money you spend of alternative accommodation now the less money there will be for keeping the mortgage going and you don,t want to default on that. If she's sensible she will see the light and make an effort to keep things amicable.

If this really isnt an option I,d opt for the cheapest accommodation yiu can reasonably feel comfortable on, given the uncertain length of time it may take to sell your house. In that case the issue of where your child will sleep you have it overnight may be an issue.
Could you rent close enough to home for an overnight stay not to be necessary?
And do you really want the hassle of having to move twice, possibly in quick succession if you're lucky to get a quick house sale ? That,s why I think moving back home pro tem might be the best option if amicable relations can be maintained for the duration

DrivingMissDaisy

Stop paying the mortgage and get your partner to contribute

Comms69

I’d move back in; while prompt her to facilitate the sale..

es5595

Could you look at just renting a room as close to your house as possible?

This would mean all bills etc are included so would probably be the cheapest way to do it, then make it clear to your ex that on the times you have your daughter you'll be bringing her home, making her dinner (and you're happy to cook for ex if she would like to be around) and doing the 'going to bed routine' and then leaving.

Having your own rental will incur a lot of extra bills, plus the cost of furnishing it, whereas causing as little disruption to your daughter will benefit everyone financially, but especially your daughter emotionally.

Comms69

es5595 wrote: »

Could you look at just renting a room as close to your house as possible?

This would mean all bills etc are included so would probably be the cheapest way to do it, then make it clear to your ex that on the times you have your daughter you'll be bringing her home, making her dinner (and you're happy to cook for ex if she would like to be around) and doing the 'going to bed routine' and then leaving.

Having your own rental will incur a lot of extra bills, plus the cost of furnishing it, whereas causing as little disruption to your daughter will benefit everyone financially, but especially your daughter emotionally.

I tend to agree in the short term. It’s what I’m doing. But in the long term it’s not practical.

Either you end up back together or you end up at each other’s throat.

Ms_Chocaholic

Your ex may get comfortable in the home without you there and not want it to sell and/or be unscrupulous in terms of viewings etc which means it does not sell. Or at worst meet someone new, move him in and it will be even more difficult to sell. At least if you live in the property you will have some control over this.

Does your ex work? Could she buy you out?