Little By Little...

Lydia42

Awesome news about the Lowell debt. Super pleased for you :-)
Hope everything goes ok with hubbie and he gets another contract soon.
Also well done cutting back on the take aways etc. We don't tend to get take-aways but are awful for treating ourselves to a bottle of wine here and there and a few munchies. Bad for the wallet and waistline too!!!!!

redmel1621

Update:

In a twist of fortune, Dh has a job. His last day at his current job is tomorrow, then he has to take his paperwork/certs to the new company on Monday then starts on Tuesday. It is £240 a month more than his current job but will involve more travelling, so will probably end up about the same, which is great.

I need to update the budget based on our new incomes, as I haven't adjusted it yet based on my income/loss of tax credits.

I'm feeling a little more optimistic about things right now, but slightly apprehensive about how the new job will be for him.

redmel1621

I can see my first wage pending (payday is Monday) yay. I have hated having no income for the last 5 months, so this feels great. It isn't a full month as payday is 24th (pay cycle is probably 21st-21st) so is only maybe 3wks pay, but it still feels great.

I am going to sit down today and do some serious number crunching.

redmel1621

I completely failed to get my budgeting sorted yesterday, but I am ON IT today.. I have been sent a nice spreadsheet by a lovely friend and I am in the process of filling it out.

On paper we will have more than enough money, so I can't see why we would have a problem paying things off. Oh yes, I know why we will have a problem... Dh. His stupid bike has cost a fortune. He spent £200 more than the loan on the actual bike, then there was petrol and food when going to collect it. Once we got it home there was insurance and tax to sort out on it. Since then he has bought a chain to lock it up for £200 and he has now needed to buy a back box and bars etc... which has cost another £240. He completely forgets what he has spent and moans at me about where all the money has gone. It's like he has some form of spending amnesia!

I did say I was going to write it all down, didn't I? I DEFINITELY need to do that as this is ridiculous now.

This morning I was saying we need to look at getting a new toaster soon, as ours has been getting worse and worse. It barely toasts anymore.. he said we should just go out and get one today. When I asked him how we were going to do that he claimed that we have barely spent a penny this month so should have loads of money in the bank. He is so annoying. It's not even like I have spent it and he may not have remembered (or realised) It is HIM that is spending the blinking money and he STILL doesn't remember.

How can I rectify this? All ideas welcome.

Chrystal

This is going to sound horrible, and I really am on your side BUT...
Oh come on... NOBODY is that stupid are they? :eek:
The costs you've put down must come to £1000 + for extras for the bike,and it sounds that he thinks that by acting stupid he's getting away with it. You need to do an SOA - Statement of Affairs, which you'll find at the beginning of the DFW thread, but make sure you put down EVERYTHING accurately (not wishful thinking) Include yearly as well as monthly bills, and you can add different things on there that are specific to you. Hair cuts etc and don't forget you need clothes etc and include a monthly amount to cover Birthdays, Christmas etc. It will work out exactly how much is left over for debt repayments. If there IS anything left over - after you start to build an Emergency Fund - then allow each of you 'spending money' and when that's gone for the month it's gone! AND MAKE SURE YOU SHOW IT TO OH!
I honestly think it's time to get tough, otherwise you'll never find your head above water, and OH has to be made to realise the reality of the situation... he's not a child and has to take responsibility for the way he's behaving.
Don't mean to upset you with this, but sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world. and subscribing to cheer you on. ((hugs))

redmel1621

Chrystal wrote: »

This is going to sound horrible, and I really am on your side BUT...
Oh come on... NOBODY is that stupid are they? :eek:
The costs you've put down must come to £1000 + for extras for the bike,and it sounds that he thinks that by acting stupid he's getting away with it. You need to do an SOA - Statement of Affairs, which you'll find at the beginning of the DFW thread, but make sure you put down EVERYTHING accurately (not wishful thinking) Include yearly as well as monthly bills, and you can add different things on there that are specific to you. Hair cuts etc and don't forget you need clothes etc and include a monthly amount to cover Birthdays, Christmas etc. It will work out exactly how much is left over for debt repayments. If there IS anything left over - after you start to build an Emergency Fund - then allow each of you 'spending money' and when that's gone for the month it's gone! AND MAKE SURE YOU SHOW IT TO OH!
I honestly think it's time to get tough, otherwise you'll never find your head above water, and OH has to be made to realise the reality of the situation... he's not a child and has to take responsibility for the way he's behaving.
Don't mean to upset you with this, but sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world. and subscribing to cheer you on. ((hugs))

That is exactly what I told him!! I'm so frustrated with the situation. He has a weird relationship with money/working/earning etc and he does have some mental health issues, which I think contribute to his way of thinking (or not) as well as being a product of his upbringing... BUT he is not a child and he should not be acting like one.:(

Thankfully I can see the woods and I am constantly on his case about his lack of reality. He does act like a child and stamps his feet and has a tantrum if he can't buy something because "he is working and what's the point of working if he can't buy EVERYTHING he wants" that is the kind of attitude he has... I have had to put up with so many years of him out of work, that I think I give in easily, just to keep him from leaving his job. Even with his ridiculous purchases, we are still better off with him in work than out of work. I feel like I am making progress, but still have to treat him with kid gloves when it comes to work.

I just take solace from the fact that he is better than he was :cool:

I haven't done an SOA for the forum, because I am not ready to be judged and criticised : I just don't think I could face it and I would end up leaving. Suffice to say on our new combined income, which we will have properly over the space of the next month, we have a few hundred spare after paying everything that is included on an SOA, so I'm not worried. I just need to get on top of things right now as we are in a transition phase of changing jobs/cutting out tax credits/Housing benefit etc.. it is a bit of a struggle right now. Obviously it would have been made easier had he not bought all the things for his bike, but he will need all of it to start his new job (just could have done it all a bit cheaper in my opinion)

Thank you for your reply. I really do appreciate it and I need all the cheerleaders I can get :rotfl:

I've done a monthly budget... the problem is we can't get all of the money in the bank by the end of the month, in order for it to be sat there for the following month to cover bills and food etc... So, is what I am proposing is that I will do a version of a forecasting budget to £0.. a kind of combo of monthly budgeting and ynab style lol.

I've started to get to work on it, so will continue with that inbetween cooking and preparing for work tomorrow. :money:

Chrystal

Oh honey he sounds like hard work.... but to be honest I think MOST males (there;s always the odd exception) never reach beyond the mental age of 7 .... they're always little boys at heart who want everything NOW! :rotfl: :rotfl: As for his attitude you can only do what you can and hope for the best.

I didn't mean for you to put your SOA on here necessarily, just print it our for your own use, but make sure it covers EVERYTHING. It's amazing how something always gets missed off and jumps out just when you really don't need it to! For what it's worth though I think you'll find that people only want to help when they point out things on the SOA, that maybe you haven't thought of.

Sounds like a plan with your forecasting budget, hopefully it won't be too long before things are on an even keel.
Keep on keeping on and I'll keep on cheering from the sidelines. ((hugs))

redmel1621

Chrystal wrote: »

Oh honey he sounds like hard work.... but to be honest I think MOST males (there;s always the odd exception) never reach beyond the mental age of 7 .... they're always little boys at heart who want everything NOW! :rotfl: :rotfl: As for his attitude you can only do what you can and hope for the best.

I didn't mean for you to put your SOA on here necessarily, just print it our for your own use, but make sure it covers EVERYTHING. It's amazing how something always gets missed off and jumps out just when you really don't need it to! For what it's worth though I think you'll find that people only want to help when they point out things on the SOA, that maybe you haven't thought of.

Sounds like a plan with your forecasting budget, hopefully it won't be too long before things are on an even keel.
Keep on keeping on and I'll keep on cheering from the sidelines. ((hugs))

You are right there:rotfl:

Aha I get you with the SOA. I am definitely making sure everything is covered... I've done that too many times and found that I'm short of money to cover something.:cool: Hopefully I can get this budget sorted. I just keep getting distracted!

BabyStepper

So pleased your OH has got a new job. That's great news! :j:beer::T I hope it goes well for him. It'll certainly be better for you when trying to do the budget. Good luck with spreadsheets, ynab and all the rest. I'm still a paper and pen girl.

GlendaSugarbean

Aargh how frustrating! Would it work if you have pre- agreed personal spending pots? You could open Monzo accounts or something similar with no OD just for your own spends, then no need to monitor his stuff and if he runs out of cash it isn't your problem. Ideally. Of course he would need to agree not to use the joint account...