Privacy and HR

Icarus01

Sorry if this is in the wrong thread.

My mother took her own life last week, and naturally I rung in work to tell them I wouldn't be able to make it in for a few days to sort everything out.

After being told bereavement pay was only 2 days I had no choice but to go into work yesterday. I was pretty shocked to find out that the news had got round my company (150+ people) and my colleague told me lots of people have been discussing it. For something so private I am very surprised - and a little upset - that my HR manager has been telling people what's happened. Are they allowed to do this? I would assume matters like these are meant to be kept private between employee and employer.

[Deleted User]

It should be but work places are the worst for gossip. They would have had to tell your direct line manager.

You can complain to stop it happening in the future but nobody can undo this so you'll have to put up with it for now. Maybe send a group email politely asking them to stop gossiping because it's upsetting.

tizerbelle

Did you tell any of your colleagues? Was anything put on twitter/facebook/in the local newspaper? There have been occasions when an employee has told me about a bereavement and I have only told the MD and the line manager (as they need to know) but before I even get back from the MDs office, the news has already spread. So be measured in any complaint/grievance you make, it may not be HR with loose lips. Certainly here, its usually a colleague that the employee told/texted directly who share the information not thinking that the employee might not want it sharing.

Comms69

Also worth noting deaths are matter for public record

TELLIT01

tizerbelle wrote: »

Did you tell any of your colleagues? Was anything put on twitter/facebook/in the local newspaper? There have been occasions when an employee has told me about a bereavement and I have only told the MD and the line manager (as they need to know) but before I even get back from the MDs office, the news has already spread

It's not your place to decide who 'needs to know' information you have been given in confidence. If the person who told you has asked you to inform others that's a different matter. It's precisely the attitude shown above which get private information out into the public domain.

Ozzuk

First of all, sorry for your loss. These things gets out - maybe your manager told your colleagues so you wouldn't have to. It saves a lot of awkward questions, people often don't know how to react in these situations and you may need additional support/less pressure.

Annoying to have your private loss discussed but it could be a result of positive intent.

Dox

Icarus01 wrote: »

Sorry if this is in the wrong thread.

My mother took her own life last week, and naturally I rung in work to tell them I wouldn't be able to make it in for a few days to sort everything out.

After being told bereavement pay was only 2 days I had no choice but to go into work yesterday. I was pretty shocked to find out that the news had got round my company (150+ people) and my colleague told me lots of people have been discussing it. For something so private I am very surprised - and a little upset - that my HR manager has been telling people what's happened. Are they allowed to do this? I would assume matters like these are meant to be kept private between employee and employer.

You must be reeling from what has happened. Quite why your colleague felt the need to tell you 'lots of people have been discussing it' is beyond me - but maybe it was intended as a sympathy gesture ('we have all been thinking of you'), however clumsy.

It may not have been HR who told people, but there is nothing to stop you asking them how word got round. As others have commented, this sort of news spreads very quickly and often the source of the information isn't who you think it is.

Comms69

TELLIT01 wrote: »

It's not your place to decide who 'needs to know' information you have been given in confidence. If the person who told you has asked you to inform others that's a different matter. It's precisely the attitude shown above which get private information out into the public domain.

In fairness I think both manager and MD would need to know.


Aside from anything else - so they can authorise payments and arrange cover.

sangie595

I understand that this is a terrible time for you and you have my sympathy. But there are many ways that your colleagues could find out that don't involve HR telling them. Even if HR did say something, it'd have got it anyway. These things always do. So I'd suggest not worrying about it. This is people for you, they probably don't mean anything bad towards you, and you'd probably do the same in different circumstances - it's natural for people to go along with the "did you hear... Isn't it awful... Poor xXxX..." conversation.

Undervalued

Comms69 wrote: »

Also worth noting deaths are matter for public record

Indeed.

Obviously a very sad situation and yes, the HR department should keep such information on a "need to know" basis within the company.

However, even if they did, there are other ways for colleagues to find out about situations like this and realistically word will get around.

Police response to any sudden death is often reported in local papers and ultimately an inquest will be held in public. Finally any will becomes a public document once probate is granted.

robatwork

It's reasonable that your colleagues know your mother died.

I think it's not your HR dept's business to tell anyone else the circumstances. That's up to you and I would be angry if that had been passed on from someone I told in confidence.

Put yourself in a colleague's shoes and you were told "John's" mum just died. First thing you'd ask is how, when, how is John? This isn't gossip, it's normal human behaviour and you'd be fairly callous to just say "oh thanks for letting me know" and walk away. So don't be too harsh on your colleagues. Animals don't care how their friends and relatives die, but we do.

I doubt you'd be able to find how this info got out so I'd focus on yourself - it's easier to be angry than grieve but it wouldn't be productive.

Wish you well.