My SOA

Need_Help_Now

worriedDan wrote: »

Really please that you have been to the GP. Best thing I did last year. Your health must come first at all times. Everything else is secondary.

I know it's hard but try to drop the feelings of shame. You have got nothing to feel ashamed about. You haven't broken the law or done anything wrong. We can all look back at decisions that we have made and feel regretful, but what really matters is what we do from this point on.

Do you have anyone in real life that you can confide in? Does anyone else know about your debts?

Hello Dan,

Thank you for posting again. I really appreciate it. Glad I went to the GP too. I am taking the first of my anti-depressant tablets this evening. I have 1 a day to take at any time and because they can make you drowsy I thought why not at night as I am having problems sleeping anyway.

Still a bit on the emotional side today. The tears just seem to come out of nowhere but I am nowhere as bad as I was yesterday.

I will try my hardest to forgive myself but not sure I ever will Dan.

I have a brilliant Mother and Father Dan, the most wonderful parents so I am so lucky I have them to help. I am not going to lie to you though - they have no idea about what is going on with my debt problems. I know for certain if I told them it would tear my whole family apart. My father isn't great health-wise and I know if I told him I would risk him having a heart attack. They know I am depressed though and they even took me to see the GP. I have friends and work colleagues I can trust too which is good. My GP is arranging for therapy for me too which should be good for me.

Today I have been trying to ring StepChange as I left a debt out from my list I sent to them. Can't believe I did that either. Couldn't get through as they were so busy so they gave me an email address to send the information to which is handy. They informed me that the first payment will happen in mid-September. I'll be glad to get up and running with it and start attacking the debt.

Thanks again for posting Dan - I really appreciate your kind words and support. I'll keep updating my page here to let you all know how things are progressing.

SuperMoose

Hello :wave:

Don't know if you've seen this thread but if not it might be helpful
ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Need_Help_Now

SuperMoose wrote: »

Hello :wave:

Don't know if you've seen this thread but if not it might be helpful
ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Thank you SuperMoose for this. I didn't spot this. Thank you for showing me it.

I'll definitely pay this a visit. Much appreciated.

startsmall

:j i have just read your post and know how you feel i suffer from depression and have COPD too we are 25,000 in debt and my husband is self employed so can't even work out accurate figures only estimates. we are wanting to sell our house and move to devon (better air quality) anyway im rambling what i really wanted to say was well done for holding your head up high and facing all your challenges if you need to talk i'm here.

Need_Help_Now

startsmall wrote: »

:j i have just read your post and know how you feel i suffer from depression and have COPD too we are 25,000 in debt and my husband is self employed so can't even work out accurate figures only estimates. we are wanting to sell our house and move to devon (better air quality) anyway im rambling what i really wanted to say was well done for holding your head up high and facing all your challenges if you need to talk i'm here.

Hello startsmall,

Thank you for your post. I am so sorry for the delay in my reply. I had a bit of a rough day yesterday so wasn't on here. I had to go back to my GP - I just couldn't stop crying and shaking yesterday. My GP took some blood samples and I am now waiting on results next week. I am however a lot better today but I realise that this is the beginning of a very long journey but I am trying to keep positive and picturing this as a new beginning for me.

I am so sorry to hear of your depression and COPD. I hope you are getting help and support for both things and finding some comfort. Depression is such as horrible thing. I have been depressed over my finances for a while now but realising I wouldn't make my monthly payments for the first time in my life really frightened me but I realise that this is the path I must take. I can't go on with the debts I have and paying them the way I was.

Thank you again for your kind post and hope you are feeling a bit better with every day yourself. I will keep posting updates here to let everyone know how things are going.

Thanks and take care startsmall

enthusiasticsaver

I think when you feel more in control this will help your depression. Getting support for the gambling problem might be worth exploring from Gamblers Anonymous. Going on the DMP is definitely a good thing for you but make sure the soa is not too restrictive. Better set it too low than too high. I think you need to allow more for groceries, haircuts, clothes, presents, entertainment, car maintenance and emergency savings.

On the plus side once the DMP is under way you will still be paying quite a lot monthly and presumably the family debt is not included. This is totally doable in less than 6 years although of course your credit record will be affected. Hope you start feeling better soon with a combination of the AD, talking therapies and feeling more in control financially.

Need_Help_Now

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think when you feel more in control this will help your depression. Getting support for the gambling problem might be worth exploring from Gamblers Anonymous. Going on the DMP is definitely a good thing for you but make sure the soa is not too restrictive. Better set it too low than too high. I think you need to allow more for groceries, haircuts, clothes, presents, entertainment, car maintenance and emergency savings.

On the plus side once the DMP is under way you will still be paying quite a lot monthly and presumably the family debt is not included. This is totally doable in less than 6 years although of course your credit record will be affected. Hope you start feeling better soon with a combination of the AD, talking therapies and feeling more in control financially.

Hello enthusiasticsaver,

Thank you so much for taking the time to post. I cannot thank you enough.

My sincere apologies for only replying now. I have been going out for a lot of walks to try and help with the depression so haven't had been on here much as a result. I apologise for that and hope to post more regularly to keep you all updated on my progress.

The great staff at StepChange took me through all the areas of my DMP that I needed to lower and in some cases raise my amounts too. The staff were amazing and explained how creditors will view my case, what they deem acceptable as a minimum payment etc.

I have been given an estimate of 3 years and 9 months that my debts will all be cleared on my plan but I hope to make overpayments where possible to reduce this further. But, I won't rush it either.

I am feeling a lot better, thank you and I have made huge progress since last week. I am taking my medication for the depression, I had blood tests which all came back clear (My GP suspected something else was going on - thankfully there wasn't). I have notified all but 1 of my creditors and soon I'll be sending off the paperwork to set up my DMP with my first payment being made in mid-September.

I am looking forward to the journey in a strange way because I think it will give me a renewed outlook and respect towards money.

I would like to thank you and everyone who has posted here. I couldn't have got to where I am without you all. Thank you all so much.

lindez

Hi Need Help,
I found your diary, well done on starting your DMP, good news on your test results that is a great positive. I hope you fell better soon, I have subscribed and will be encouraging you all the way take care.

cat1978

Good morning,

Didn't want to read and run, but having suffered from depression and been on anti-depressants, felt I needed to respond about that.

The symptoms of crying more and shaking can actually be a side effect from the anti-depressants, and some of the tablets make you feel worse before they make you better. It took my doctor trying 3 different tablets before he found the right ones for me and even these ones caused me to be sick and nauseus in the first week. Give the tablets time to work, but if after a few weeks (hopefully you will have a review with doctor), things don't feel any better, make sure to let your doctor know so that they can change the tablets.


I found walking really helped, and overtime I started gardening. Anything that involves exercise and fresh air will help you so much.


Good luck with shifting your debt, you can do it. My husband ran up debts with his ex wife, and his current debt free date is April 2047!!! 3 years and 9 months will fly by

Need_Help_Now

lindez wrote: »

Hi Need Help,
I found your diary, well done on starting your DMP, good news on your test results that is a great positive. I hope you fell better soon, I have subscribed and will be encouraging you all the way take care.

Hi Lindez,

Thank you for dropping by and many thanks for the kind words. I am feeling a lot better, thank you. I have come a very long way in just over 1 week and I couldn't have done it without the kind words and advice from everyone here.

I am submitting my DMP later this evening. All my creditors have been contacted etc. I think once I make my first DMP payment I will feel a real sense of accomplishment but I do realise this is only the beginning but I am up for it.

I'll keep posting any developments on here as I have them. Thank you again for your kind post.