Feeling hopeless...

rossh70

AugustBaby wrote: »

...for the quick response.

Everybody seems so friendly here, and I have felt bloody lonely for the past year. None of our friends or family know the situation so there has been no one to discuss the situation with except for my DH - and I don't feel I should ask him for a boost up when I got us into the situation.

Thanks for your offer - we are now officially mutual support buddies!

Thanks, AB

No worries pal. It must be a 40 thing as i reached that dreaded milestone back in May. Take a wee look at my thread if you like and see you aint the only one with those sort of debts. I have written them down, posted them and am now absolutely terrified yet feel a wee bit better at the same time.
Its keepin it all to myself that has made me ill recently so i knew it was time to deal with things as best i can.
That and the fact i have met a great girl and am scared i will frighten her of when she finds out the mess i am in.:o

Lucie_2

I'm not sure how things work in the Forces, so this may be a stupid idea, but can you get some kind of "reference" from them to say that you have been a model tenant, always paid on time etc etc? Is there a housing officer or similar who could do it for you? You probably won't need to produce it to an estate agent, but it would set your mind at ease that you've got it incase you do need it. I bet anything on official military headed paper would carry enough weight with an EA to make them not bother checking anything else about your finances.
You don't need to explain why you want it to the housing office, you could just say that as you've never rented a civilian house before you're worried that you have no record and it might make things awkward.

Good Luck!

AugustBaby

Hi, I faced up to things when I felt so ill, I thought I was going to have a breakdown - mad, isn't it?

Your great girl won't be scared when she finds out how brave you were to face up to things, and how strong you have been taking control of the situation......

And, hey, we were only 39 last year - and it's alright for you, men get so much, much better as they get older!

Thanks, AB

AugustBaby

Thanks, Lucie, that's a good idea and I think it just might be possible - I'm going to ring my DH and ask him if he can find out.

I'll let you know and thanks for the advice!

Many thanks, AB

Determined

AugustBaby wrote: »

...for the quick response.

Everybody seems so friendly here, and I have felt bloody lonely for the past year. None of our friends or family know the situation so there has been no one to discuss the situation with except for my DH - and I don't feel I should ask him for a boost up when I got us into the situation.

Thanks for your offer - we are now officially mutual support buddies!

Thanks, AB

Ooo Ross & AB can you adopt me too?? - must stop logging on at work....must stop logging on at work....

rossh70

Too right we can! it will be like the old woman who lived in a shoe. (maybe can't really remember the story)
Seriously it would help me no end to have other folk battling with me and i would love to be able to support you back.
Consider yerself adopted.;)

GeorgeUK

Hi AB

Renting before leaving the army looks like a good idea. Best to do a SOA now to see what you can afford in the market. That way after removal costs etc there shouldn't be any nasty surprises.
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

Not sure if you are/would be entitled to any benefits, but it may be worth checking http://www.entitledto.co.uk/ to make sure you get anything you're due.

To see how much your debt is decreasing by and where to throw any extra money, look at the snowball calculator http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx
It can feel so good to see where you are with it all at any one time.

Keep talking to your husband. It looks like you guys are doing pretty well together and supporting each other. Keep it up. Tell him about the site if you want - there may be times when he just needs to vent and it's easier doing it anonymously on the forum that putting pressure on each other.

Good luck with this. You've started your journey up the mountain - now you just need to make sure you leave yourself enough rope to get to the top safely.

We'll advise and support you where we can.
George

SortingIt_2

Hi Aug-Baby,

Don't let it get to you. You have taken the first positive steps in sorting it all out and you are on your way to being debt free. I am just starting my DMP with payplan on my own as OH has no debts so to speak and I have a whopping £61K of debt I beleive...possibly more now with late payments and interest but I know I have done the right thing and will carry on.

There is a DMP mutual support thread about here on the site which a lot of others are in the same situation. You have def come to the right place for support, the guys on here are great!

Take care xx

dsljfreeman

Hello there August Baby

:grouphug: you have definitely come to the right place, have a look round the other boards too especially the freebie and competition board - you never know if a wee treat will land on your doormat.

My total debt was around the £45k mark at the beginning of October this year and I'm 27.

But the fact is it's very scary when you have the total in black and white, I blamed myself for the level of debt we were in as I'm the one that deals with the finances but after admitting that to my hubby he told me that he was to blame too, so not to beat myself up, maybe just have a wee heart to heart with your hubby about how you're feeling.

I would recommend getting involved with all the challenges on the dfw board and reading the personal diaries, there are a lot of people out there with huge debts and we are all working hard to pay them off.

In the meantime get your soa posted and we can help get your outogings down that wee bit more xx

Donedoingdebt

AugustBaby wrote: »

I think it's just hit me that the overall amount is huge and we won't be debt free until 2018. I also feel so insecure that the creditors can still add interest and that the period of time to pay everyone could be extended.

quote]This is a possibility but if it's any consolation, I am approaching the 8th year of my DMP in Jan. I have managed to not miss any payments on my 7 credit accounts (4 DMCs & MBNA direct) & not once have any of the DCAs tried to restart interest & charges, although they regularly contact every year or so to try & get me to up my payments. I have usually been in a position to offer minimal raises (£5 monthly) due to annual pay rise & this has kept them quiet for another year.
Surprise, surprise, the only ones I had this problem with were MBNA, but with hindsight, I feel I walked into their trap. I kept agreeing to their requests for small increases until eventually I was paying what would have been the normal monthly minimum payment.
Hey presto, they turned around & stopped the DMP & started charging normal interest although obviously, I wasn't allowed to use the card.
I took the extreme action of selling something to pay them off in full & happily, they're now out of my life.