Feeling hopeless...

AugustBaby

Hi, I had my LBM over a year ago and since then, have worked with Payplan who have been brilliant. We originally applied for an IVA, which we missed by just over 1%, and are now following a debt management plan.

I left a job I loved for another one that earned more money, my DH has taken on additional work and we are so careful to manage each month ie we pay all our outgoings and don't spend anymore than what is left over. We are both scrupulously honest about money and I truly have no desire whatsoever to ever take on credit again - this is the total reverse of how I used to be.

But after the painful but good things that have happened - facing up to the problems, being honest with my DH (I had 'hidden' a lot of the debt), contacting Payplan, unravelling the complete mess, contacting each of the creditors, applying for the IVA, not getting the IVA and going through the alternative route of the DMP, working out and sticking to a realistic budget, going without luxuries (don't get me wrong, I don't pine for anything apart from being debt free!) - I logged onto the site which shows you exactly where you are, and I feel..... well, useless, pathetic for getting into this situation, and just overwhelmed by the amount. We owe nearly £130,000.00 (which seems far more than anyone else here) and that doesn't include a mortgage, just credit cards and loans.

We live in military accommodation at present but as my DH is leaving, we are going to have to move into rented accommodation - I am really worried about whether we will be accepted for renting as we now have a bad credit history. We can provide evidence that we haven't missed a payment on anything for over a year and haven't ever missed a rental payment for the Forces accommodation but will this be enough? I'm so scared of the answer that I haven't even approached an estate agent. Does anyone here have any info?

I think it's just hit me that the overall amount is huge and we won't be debt free until 2018. I also feel so insecure that the creditors can still add interest and that the period of time to pay everyone could be extended.

I'm no less determined to carry on, to budget each month, to never take on credit - this is how I want to live now, and after the debt is cleared. I just feel totally overwhelmed that by the time the debt is cleared, I'll be 50. How stupid was I to get into this situation?

Sorry to sound like so miserable, perhaps I'm looking for a kick up the Khyber....

Thanks
AugustBaby

PS Typing this has really helped, and in actual fact, whilst thinking about things, I've kind of realised that if it was just my life I had affected, I wouldn't feel as bad, but I've put my DH in it too.

rossh70

Hey August Baby. Just posted my situation for the first time and know what you mean about that feeling of worthlessness. However i have had several positive replies already and am now working on a State of Affairs to add to my thread.
There seems to be a lot of pretty amazing people posting here so i reckon we are in the right place.
Do ya a deal. Seein as we have reached this point at the same time how about we adopt each other and spur ourselves on?
What do ya reckon?
Ross

Zebedee69

Kick up the Kyber sent down the internet!:rotfl:

I doubt that having a poor history will impact your ability to rent. Very few people would even check. Once you can prove you have income every month from work thats enough.

As for the debt..... Atleast you know what you did was silly. Some people never get to that stage and go around with no idea:rolleyes: You'll be debt free one day and feel much happier for it;)

Oh and one more thing.....

:grouphug:
Big MSE group hug!

Zeb

AugustBaby

...for the quick response.

Everybody seems so friendly here, and I have felt bloody lonely for the past year. None of our friends or family know the situation so there has been no one to discuss the situation with except for my DH - and I don't feel I should ask him for a boost up when I got us into the situation.

Thanks for your offer - we are now officially mutual support buddies!

Thanks, AB

CHR15

Well done for getting this far, I am sure you have lots of responses to your post offering support, reassurance and help.

Members of the Armed Forces are seen as low risk due to the regular payslips and job security.
Can you try to take advantage of this and get in rented accomodation on the strength of his job security??
It is of no concern to them that he is leaving soon you could just keep it quiet.

If he is at the end of his career (22yrs) he should be in for a decent gratuity lump (iro £40kish), if he has not Done his time is leaving now a good idea?? has he got a job to go to straight from the forces??

AugustBaby

..cyber kick received and appreciated as much as the welcome...

I'm really glad I have faced up to things, I'm just surprised that I feel so bloody miserable after a year of being determined to just crack on.

I was 40 in August, so I'm going to blame that!

Thanks, AB

GreyPilgrim

Welcome to the forum AB. I think we've all felt the same when we've stood back and took stock of how big the debt mountain is. I think maybe it needs to shock you a little to spur you into action. But you've done all the hardest bits, surely - admitting there's a real problem, facing up to it, coming clean with partner, committing yourself to the DMP when it would be ten times easier to just bury your head in the sand etc etc etc. Now it's just the 'head down and get it paid off'.

You will get there, even though it seems a long way off.

Would posting your SOA help at all, to see if there are anyways you could throw more at your debts and bring that 2018 date a few months closer?

best wishes, and don't apologise for feeling miserable. You're among friends and people who know how it feels, so it's allowed.

AugustBaby

Hi, yes, we could get into rented before he leaves - I hadn't thought of that!

He hasn't done his time, but after being involved in eight 'active' conflicts, he had changed roles but now, due to a policy change, will have to go back into theatre - life it too short and I have friends who have lost their husbands.

However, he does have a job waiting for him and well paid enough that it doesn't impact our budget (in fact, it will help it slightly) - even taking into account that we will now have to include a decent chunk for rent whilst at present, it is peanuts for a gorgeous house. However, I'ld rather live in a shed with him, than be without him.

As for a lump sum, he will get something, and that is going straight to the repayment fund!

Thanks for replying.....really appreciated.

learntthehardway_2

Its a long haul.....but keep focused and YOU will be debt free, I've just started my DMP be on it for next 11yrs and I'm 50 now,but Its my debt and I'm determined to pay it off........I feel so much better now I'm in control of my spending...(buried my head for so long).....I can see light at end of tunnel as I'm now the total opposite of how I used to be (stupid!! with money).
If you start to feel down, log on this site, brilliant people on here will lift you like they have me............and boy have I felt down!!
Good luck.......

AugustBaby

Grey, thanks, you are right, the most painful bits have been done and now it's just the long haul.

I'm really glad I came to this site - it's a mine of information.... and support.

Many, many thanks for responding, AB

AugustBaby

Blimey, LTHW, I thought I may get a response by tomorrow, thank you for taking the time to write a message.

It does feel so much better to be in control, you're so right.

I think I'm struggling with the fact that I got my DH into this too - perhaps that something I need to talk over with him....

Thanks, AB