Financial Settlement - What would be fair?

paigesaunt

In case anyone is following
I emailed very briefly suggesting we voluntarily exchange Form E, the response I got was abusive.
I then emailed to ask what he thought was fair, his offer was to transfer his half of the FMH to me.
I emailed back rejecting his offer.
The property has little equity, and out of any sale the charging orders in his sole name would need to be paid, leaving me nothing, but him debt free.

[Deleted User]

Have you tried Wikivorce?

https://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Advice-and-discussion-forums.html

caprikid1

As has been stated at this point the starting point is 50/50 of everything as it now stands.


His solicitor almost certainly has advised him of this. You really do need to find some money to get a solicitor involved. There is too much money at stake.


I would also add you have listed all you know about, who knows what he squirreled away in recent years.

paigesaunt

Funny you should mention squirrelling money away, often since he left I have wondered why he never paid any bills. I've lived in the same property with one extra person I.e. a baby, with the same household expenses as always and just about keep the wolves from the door on my very low income. When we were together he turned over at least £200,000 PA, even if 75% of that was expenses, that's still a good income with no reason whatsoever to have incurred the amount of debt he did.

This morning I received another angry email, he even resorted to name calling, and eventually said it'll go to court and he'll fight to prevent me getting anything.
I responded saying I agreed it would be better if the court decided.
I then received another angry email telling me he was in negotiations with the bank, with a view to paying off the charging order, but as I won't agree to his offer he is going to save the money for solicitors fees instead.
Unfortunately his lie was futile as he got the name of the bank wrong! Im sure if you were in negotiations, you'd know which bank you owed!
I replied briefly (and a bit smugly) informing him he was negotiating with the wrong bank, and reiterated I am happy to let the court decide the outcome.
Another angry email, asking me what I want to settle. We've come full circle in 24 hours.

I will find the money to get advice and representation.

neneromanova

Can you ask your Son if you can borrow some money to pay for the solicitors? It would be in his interest as well as he seems to be being stiff on his inheritance as well.



Also have you been to a few solicitors for the free 30 min advice to see what they say? they will tell you what to expect in the hope that you will go with them.



You really can't afford not to use a solicitor. Even if it costs you £5k to pay for the advice, that could be the difference in getting £50k or £200k (if he's been hiding money).

Accountant_Kerry

Totally agree with everyone else, you MUST find a way to get legal representation. There are often solicitors who take on cases like this for people on low incomes. Try CAB they often know of ones in your area. He definitely knows you will get more than he wants to give in court. if I was you I'd be asking for 60% of all assets as a general rule which is not unusual presuming that you have worked a lower paid job and focused on bringing up the children over the years.

caprikid1

"As has been stated at this point the starting point is 50/50 of everything as it now stands"


Of course I should point out whilst that is the starting point in many circumstances where children are involved the outcome can often take the childrens needs and requirements into account and it can often come out 60:40 or greater in the mothers favour where the children and mainly with her.


So if he is not starting from 50:50 on what you know about he is being an absolute fool. When I got divorced we split it 50:50 and both our solicitors said my Ex wife could get more.


Often mediation is suggested but I fear in this case you are so far apart. He knows full well what he is exposed to in terms of the split. No doubt his solicitor has told him minimum 50:50. The one most guys forget about is pensions, that can be a huge sum of money and often the biggest asset. Pension pots of 1M are not unheard of even in the most average jobs.


Personally I would want and this point a solicitor to issue a request for full disclosure. The longer you leave it the more time he has to hide assets. You should be able to start the process with £1500.

paigesaunt

Hi All
I'm so grateful that you take the time to respond and offer great advice.

In regards to pension, he says as he didn't pay into it for the majority of our marriage it doesn't count, I think I read that somewhere too.
He's already taken his 25% tax free chunk from it, I have no idea how much it would be though.
A solicitor I went to see when he first left, has said he'll act for me if I pay £1,000 on account, so that's the amount I'm aiming to raise from somewhere.
Does anyone feel making an application for MPS is worthwhile, I know they're not usually very successful, but knowing it's going to be tough getting him to comply with court deadlines, if I'm costing him, it may speed him up.

As for my son lending it to me, unfortunately until he gets his inheritance he isn't in a position to help, and the reason his father (my STBX and Executor) won't give it to him is because I might benefit.

Probate was granted in Jan, 2 years after the death but they say they haven't got any cash available, it's all tied up in the rental properties.
Naturally, STBX takes dividends, has received his inherited properties and is alright Jack!
There's nothing my son can do except wait.

neneromanova

I think your son needs to go see some free 30 minute solicitors as well and take a copy of the will to see what they say. He might be able to petition to the court about the court about the wishes of th will not being met or something. (Obviously I don't know what was in the will)

paigesaunt

I feel my son should get some legal advice too. The will is very basic and straightforward, there's no direct mention of the rental properties, it's tied up in what I assume they are referring to as the deceased trust fund, further complicated by the fact the two executors are the directors of the rental company so naturally it benefits them to keep hold of them.
It's very frustrating for him, but the executors just won't sell even one of the properties to give my son what his grandfather wanted him to have.
I'm guessing there's no time limit to distribute assets, not that they'd take any notice of it anyway. Both my STBX and his sibling have been desperate to get their hands on their dads money. It strikes me as odd though that for 40 years the will never changed, only to add grandchildren as the estate was always to go to them only, bypassing my ex in laws children, I.e. my STBX and his sister, (he always knew they were irresponsible and lazy)
It was only 6 months before he died, it was changed to include STBX and his sister having anything, he then changed it again but that will wasn't signed before he passed away.
I understand, it is the unsigned will the executors want to go by, I'm guessing because they benefit the most from it.