Work/Worries/Panic/Stress/Advice

simplyanonymous

Hi all,

I'm not too sure on what title to give but here goes, this is my first time here.

I've been in a job for over 3 months, the job itselfs is brilliant (office job). I work 37.5 hours a week 9am - 5pm.
During the time I've been there I've only called in sick 3 times and these are reasons are "Anxiety/Panic Attack and Insomnia". I have stated these when I've had a return to work form.

I take medication called propranolol but these medical conditions are something i've battled with on and off for several years and i couldn't go into today due to being exhausted because of no sleep (not my choice it didn't happen), i couldn't sleep at all last night and i have a good sleep routine and don't stay up late. I ended up Panicking all night, tossing and turning.

My main worry is i don't want to become a liability to the company, i do everything within reason and whats necessary. Whenever i've called in sick i always call 30 minutes before 9am and state i'm sick and cannot go into the office today and they understood. I keep telling myself there's no good reason to sack me. It's not far until i come up to the last of my 3 month probationary period. I work incredibly hard, i push myself.

Now there are no indication or anything to worry about from them as i know. But i'm worried... what if i was to lose my job due to my medical conditions.

I currently live in a shared accomodation. (I keep to myself, I don't have friends)


Before i had this job 3 months ago i was on jobseekers for two and half years and that was a difficult time. It was quite a push for myself.


I guess i'm overthinking, i've looked in my contract and from my understanding i should be fine. I have started to feel what's the point of being here but I am no harm to myself ect.

Now i currently am wondering what if i was to lose my job, that would potentially leave me homeless and only with £800 in savings from the job. I'd never know what benefit i would apply for or how my savings would effect my entitled if so.
Housing benefit, JSA or ESA. What would i state if things did go wrong. The contract at work is temporary and 15 months fixed term.

I know i'm going all over the place but i'm in a bad state and i can't rest. I sometimes feel like my medical problems effect me and it scares me when i think about what if? What if i didn't have this job, where would i go and how would i survive? I don't have any family support except my brother but he's also not in a position to provide support as he has his own issues.


I don't get anxiety much within the work place but i've noticed they're good employer. But i do get anxiety, and have trouble sleeping on and off most days. I got 0 sleep because of it last night. I find that the gp isn't helpful. I really need peace of mind, maybe from someone who has been throuhg something similiar? To clarify there has been no statement saying that i am losing my job as thats just my worry for being off sick. I'm usually not like this but it comes and goes like a cycle, more like a switch.

What options could i take, what can i do here to calm and ease overall? :mad:

sangie595

I'm not going to b*lls**t you. Three times in three months is an awful lot of sickness absence, and unless you are very fortunate in your employer, and they don't care at all, they are going to eventually, and quite soon probably, get fed up of it and dismiss you. If that happens you would have to claim benefits, and you'll need to figure out what to apply for, or get advice, just like anyone else does.

What you do need to do is talk to your GP. And if you can't talk to your GP, then you need to get another GP! Your current employer, a future employer, potential employers - there is only so much absence they will tolerate, and you need to do two things. If possible, you need a diagnosis and treatment to solve these problems. And/ or you need to be able to explain to your employer what is wrong with you and hope that they will be able to be supportive.

But what you cannot do is phone in and say I didn't sleep so I'm not coming in on a regular basis. They won't say anything over the phone, and they'll sound understanding when talking to you. But I'm sorry to have to tell you that that is probably the furthest thing from their mind and they don't understand at all. The only thing they understand is that you keep phoning in sick, not sleeping is a pitiful excuse, and they don't employ people to be off all the time. I'm sorry if that appears cruel, but trust me - if they don't think that now, they soon will. The sooner you realise that and get medical help, the better.

You can get through this and turn things around. But you need to be proactive and deal with your issues, and be seen to be doing so.

FBaby

Have you tried to go to work even after a very bad night of sleep? What happens?

I have experienced more very bad night sleep in my working life than I could count. Started with being the mum of two babies who suffering from terrible colic for many months who were up crying most of the nights. Lately, it's been due to health issues. This is oh so common and life goes on.

I don't want to make you more anxious than you are, but personally, if I had a staff member who had called in sick three times in three months for bad sleep, I would be quite concerned about your future with the company, but hopefully you have a more sympathetic boss. Still, I would be careful and consider giving it a try to get to work without any sleep. It's amazing how you body kicks in and still makes you function, even on very low batteries.

simplyanonymous

Fbaby.

I have been to work a few times on little sleep and pulled through several times but when I get zero sleep that's when it takes the toll. It's exhausting and I cannot function. When I have gone back to work before and filled out a back2work form to record my sick absence. I get asked what suitable changes can the company do, just to add when I've signed this form I have spoken about what's been going on as I rarely talk about my private business but it was relevant to do so and was treat confidentially. For example one of the staff members I spoke to today asked if there's anything that could be done on my behalf whilst I'm sick and said they could let another staff member know that I cannot attend todays appointment to see a client.

I tend not to make a habit of calling in sick because I actually don't like to do it at all. I'm on edge.bad way, it's mainly the anxiety that causes me to have zero sleep. I get zero sleep sometimes and othertime I power through on just a few hours, I've done it before. But I couldn't today not on this amount. Sangie you have pointed out some valid points and I can understand where you're coming from. They are a considerate, reasonable employer and it's within the care & support sector. I will see my doctor tomorrow and mention the issue and get some more medication. I have a large understanding regarding my medical issues but it if it get's worse in future (I hope not) then I might just have to go back on benefits and seek different alternatives. I work really hard, beyond pushing myself. I guess i'll wait and see when my probationary period comes and i'll find out my results.

I find when I have gone to work on little sleep I feel drained, and I manage to power through but it's challenging. But on 0 zero sleep I can't function at all.

polgara

Hi - I really understand how hard it can be but you need to build your resilience or coping mechanisms. The propanalol should take the edge of the adrenaline rushes but it sounds like you need therapy of some kind to help with the feelings/sleeping issues.

Whilst your employer may be very supportive you will find that this reduces if you aren't able to sustain attendance so try and be proactive now as the waiting times can be lengthy but at least you can tell them you are trying to improve matters. Have you tried either the Calm or Pacificia apps?

simplyanonymous

Hi, thankyou for replying. I have a large understanding regarding my mental health. I do have my own coping mechanism and a resilience. Sometimes i'm fine and sometimes it's difficult like now. I'm aware that if I was to be sick off work for over 7 days I would need to provide a sick note. I was also wondering how does the process go for SSP if I ever needed but I hope I do not need to go there but just incase it's good to know this information. Would i also recieve regular pay for the times before this? I don't want it to get there but what options do i have in the long run if the worst was to happen. I'm currently on day 1 of 7 of sick absence. I'm really doing everything I can through this difficult time. I understand by law I would get paid the hourly rate regardless and I get paid monthly on the 15th.

I work hard, and have good attendance. I'm very rarely late and only take sick days due to not feeling well within good reason hence today.


Hopefully I can get some good rest tonight and ready for tomorrow. I'm aware waiting times can vary and i'll do everything I can and if asked I'll make it clear I'm doing everything that I can do to improve this matter despite the difficulties. It's pretty much a process of maximising my potential. I have spoken to a staff member last week who mentioned about getting me authorisation to do flexible working from home on fridays which means working from home. I do love my job honestly it's an amazing company to work for.

I just want to do things right, and however i do that even if that means asking for advice.

I'm somewhat calm about this the more I understand it. I shall take in mind about the apps.

Additionally,
As i stated if the worst was to to come as a result of termination which has not happened just hypothetically speaking. Would having £800 savings effect me recieving benefits including housing benefit/jobseekers or ESA?

The reason i am saying this is i am a type of person who focuses on the long term results regardless of anything throughout hard work or failure/unfortunate circumstances. It's more of a peace of mind thing despite all my hard efforts whilst currently working.

Of course i'm not there today but typing at this moment in time i did try to rest but aswell going in after zero sleep or to go in later never works for me, it's not easy to rest after a bad night of anxiety/insomnia. It's usually going in the day after which works out better. I'm just thinking ahead. I don't like being off sick but today was one of those times where I had to.

sangie595

What you get paid depends on your contract. If you are only on SSP then you will only get it after three days, and it's not very much. If it's contractual, it depends on what your contract says.

Before you start asking about things like flexible working, there's a lot you need to do and think about. These requests are often a one time only thing - ask once and you can't ask again and you can't chop and change. So, for example, how does working from home on Friday help if you aren't sleeping? Because you will have to work! If you can't work due to lack of sleep in the office, how does working at home change that? Because your employer is going to be asking that same question.

And I'll be clear - we have thousands of members in the health and care industry, and perhaps your are very lucky, but (a) they are quite often the worst when it comes to health support, and (b) they still employ people to be in work not off sick, and it is entirely possible for them to be concerned and ruthless at the same time.

So really, your process needs to start with (a) what is the diagnosis; followed by (b) what are the various treatment / other options that will minimise or totally resolve the issues you have; then (c) how long is that likely to take; and only then (d) how do I maintain my full productivity, or as near as possible to that, whilst I did this, and what can I reasonably ask my employer to help with?

How have you managed in previous jobs? Surely you haven't had this rate of sickness in the past and not had problems as a result?

FBaby isn't, you see, an unsympathetic boss. She's (i think she's a she!) exactly the kind of boss that lucky people have! She isn't likely to boot your out right now. She'll talk to you about the options. But she would dismiss of there's no improvement, because that's her job. And that's what she'll need to do, whether she wants to or not. Go right across the public sector, looking at some of the most sympathetic employers, with more scope and willingness to adjust than many other employers, and you would already have tripped or be close to tripping procedures for absence. And they are the "nice" people - in other sectors you'd have been let go the third time you phoned in.

I do appreciate that you are not well, and that you need support, but you're coming across as rather entitled here. You are thinking you are entitled to be paid regardless (and unless that's contractual, you are wrong because the law doesn't say that); that you are doing your best but won't go to the doctor because they aren't "helpful", which really isn't "doing your best"; and so on. If you understand so much about mental health, as yippy say, you need to be using that knowledge. Nobody is entitled to a job. Not me. Not you. And you are acting like you are.

And before you claim that's not fair, and I don't know what I am talking about, I am severely disabled, I know exactly what it's like to be unable to sleep due to unrelenting pain, I have a cocktail of meds that would knock most people off their feet.... And I get up and go to work. Yes, I do have a good employer. Yes, they make adjustments for me. To be honest, I have a great employer, probably one of the fairest in the country. And you know what? If I have too much time off work then I get disciplined. If it gets worse, I get disciplined again. And then I get dismissed. Just like anyone else. And I have worked for them for 30 years! What do you really think 3 months is worth?

eamon

It can take forever +1 day to get a proper diagnosis let alone an effective treatment plan for any mental health issue. You have only been at your current employer for a few months and hence have few employment rights. What you can do is check with your employer if they have anything like an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) its a useful resource and confidential (your employer will only be told that you have made contact, not the reason why). Also consider asking to be refered to occupational health, often this is a faster route to treatment than via your GP. Do as Sangie says and get to your GP asap. That is so important, you have to make things happen. Concentrate on getting your mental health into a better place that works for you. Lastly don't worry about benefits for the time being.

simplyanonymous

I don't think i'm entitled but thanks for your reply. I'm not entitled to anything except for my pay and the hours I've worked for.

I found that previously on 5 Fridays that I took off as annual leave which were approved from the other month for counselling therapy it was discovered from myself to try and work from home on Fridays instead. The reason why is during those times i had counselling therapy sessions (emotional) and the time to reflect because I wasn't in the right state of mind during the counselling session, in the end it helped. I'm currently still waiting on authorisation to work from home on Fridays.

I find that working from home on Fridays would help me by allowing me breathing space to ease my anxiety, this is what I would class as maximising my potential. Regardless of how I feel I think that would be better as a short term adjustment then back to working on the office on Fridays as normal. I am off to speak to my GP tomorrow regardless.

I won't think about benefits.
You have a good point, i'm not sure what else to say?

I don't like to take time off unless it's needed as stated.

I admire your determination nonetheless regarding your condition.

lincroft1710

simplyanonymous wrote: »

I work hard, and have good attendance. I'm very rarely late and only take sick days due to not feeling well within good reason hence today.

3 sick absences in 3 months would not be regarded as good attendance by the majority of employers. Your priority should be to make every effort to attend work and get there on time..

[Deleted User]

Grab hold of the positives - you enjoy your job. You've had support so far that may well continue.

If not shift working, any chance you can attempt to go to bed earlier.

I even knew of someone with ME who would work and grab a nap at lunch time. Had their hours adjusted etc.

If you can pick up a magazine called "Slim, Fit & Healthy" July/August 18 that has a really good article on 7 ways to stop worrying.

We all have times when applying for benefits becomes a must but that doesn't have to define a future if you are able - by the time the first meeting for UC (so far so good and I've deliberately not wanted to read up on it) comes around I'll have had 4 job interviews. And that's without the rest of week passing. #getting more interviews unemployed, then employed! Life can be rebuilt and I don't think I'm in a exclusive part of the country, should the very worst happen.