Ex-fiance wants half the profits from sale of my house.

Borealis_sky

My fiance of 12 years and I are in the process of breaking up (We're both early 30's, have no children and still live together). I earn an average salary.

I purchased a house 4 years ago, 6 months after we got engaged. She has been continually unemployed for over 5 years and refuses to work, as she would rather focus on her own personal creative projects and try to earn money that way (however unfortunately this has not earned anything for her to date). She has also refused to claim Jobseekers Allowance, as she says she finds it depressing. I should note at this point that she is able-bodied and very well educated.

I have tried every method of trying to help/ask her to find a job on and off for years !!!8211; even if it is just part-time. Though she has always refused, and she says that she doesn't want to waste her life working. This usually ends up on a horrible argument once every 6 months or so, so bad that I retreat and leave it alone as I don't want that sort of constant anguish in my life.

I purchased the property as a house for us to live in together and to begin our future in. The property is solely in my name, as her credit rating is poor and she never had employment for her to contribute to the mortgage. She had a couple of thousand pounds savings at the time, and I asked if she would like to contribute it to the deposit for a share in the house, to which she declined.

Therefore I have paid for everything related to the property (deposit, stamp duty, legal fees, all monthly mortgage payments over 4 years etc). I have also paid £40k (through a second mortgage plus what's left from my salary every month) towards renovation costs, and I have paid for every home furnishing item and appliance. I also have paid for every household bill and the household food too. I have paid for our holidays, trips, meals out, days out, treats, bus journeys etc etc.

She has not paid anything, ever. In fact, she owes me several thousand pounds for various things over the years. None of which she has attempted to pay back. She always borrows my credit card when we go out, and I'm not allowed to tell/show anyone she uses my card as it makes her embarrassed when we are out.

There was never an agreement between us that this was how our relationship worked (i.e me at work and her at home). I always asked her to contribute financially, and I have always communicated to her that I do not accept and am not happy with us living in this scenario. However I did not know what to do when someone else you love vehemently refuses to something you're sort of at a loss.

Over the past 4 years we have renovated the house together. There has been A LOT of DIY/renovation work that we have completed (new kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, living room etc.). It has been an awful amount of work !!!8211;
basically stripping the house back to brickwork and rebuilding it from within. For a few years we both lived in poor conditions whilst this work went on since I could not afford to pay for tradesmen to do it all on my salary alone. I have done the most of the DIY/renovation work myself, however to her credit she has helped out with manual work a lot, and also provided lots of ideas and moral support. I would reasonably say I have done 70% of the renovation work to her 30%.

Conversely, she also has done a larger share of things like the cooking and cleaning, I would say she has done 70% of these tasks to my 30%.

Now that our engagement has broken down (partly to all the above, partly to other things), she wants to move on with her life and she wants me to sell the property. I want to sell the property too as I want to move on with my life. However she expects/wants a lot of money from the house sale. She said she wants £50k(!!!) so she can move on with her life (because she refuses to work in the future and wants the money for her future). That will be approximately half of the profits, with me getting the other £50k.

I was quite surprised by this, as I have fully funded her life from my average salary for 5 years !!!8211; most people would be grateful for that alone, surely? Her response is that I should not have proposed to her and waste her time/life. She says she should be paid for her DIY work, and she also says that because we are engaged she is entitled to half the money (she's read some articles online).

I think she's being very unreasonable, and I am not prepared to pay her £50k and loose all my profits. I have worked so hard for the past 6 years in relation to raising money for this house !!!8211; I have put absolutely every penny into it, whilst also supporting two people. Whilst I appreciate that she has helped with the renovation work, she has not put anywhere near as much as me into the house).

For the plans I have after selling the house, I need £100k. If she takes £50k my plans are over.

We have discussed > argued > shouted about this for months. We are at stalemate, we simply to not agree with each other.

I know that because all the legal housing documentation is in my name, she can't do much apart from take me to court. However neither of us really want to do that (she has seriously threatened it though!).

As she has contributed to some of the renovation work with her time, and I would feel bad if after we depart ways that she has nothing. But on the other hand I also think she really should of worked and saved something up over the past 5 years, and I feel like I'm a bit of an idiot.

I am thinking of offering her £10k from the sale and also writing off the £2-3k she owes me, but I would like to know what the people think first? (It's highly likely she'll laugh at this offer anyway).

Am I being unreasonable and she should be financially reimbursed for her efforts, or am I being completely walked over?

I'm very confused and also very annoyed.

Thank you

k3lvc

Assuming all your bank records/bills etc are available showing no contributions from her then let her take you to court. Counter-claim for the things she owes you (assuming of course you have records of these) and be prepared to settle with neither of you owing the other anything

kingstreet

Get professional legal advice and offer nothing until you have got it!

haras_nosirrah

Her putting work into the property may give her some kind of claim but living expenses and rent free for 5 yrs would be a valid counter claim. Her having no income is in your favour here as you can demonstrate she had no means to support herself and you paid everything

As you weren't married and there are no children I don't think she would succeed with a claim

TrickyDicky101

Does she have family to finance any court action? Otherwise that feels like an empty threat.

cloud_dog

What is the value of the house / outstanding mortgage?

tlc678910

Your thoughts of offering 10k sound more than fair, reasonable and ethical to me and a good compromise.

Legally I don’t think she would have a leg to stand on. It is your house, she did not contribute in any way financially. You are not married and she is not legally your dependant.

If she bothered to take you to court asking to be paid for her diy you could ask to be paid her contribution for bills which you always asked for. If she seeks legal advice I don’t think she would bother to go to court. Ethically I think if you offer 10k you have the moral high ground.

You say you are at a stalemate but you don’t need her agreement. It is your house and your relationship is over. Ask her to move out with what you think is a reasonable notice. Then do what you want with your house and if you choose to give her anything that is kind of you. I don’t think you have to.

tlc

Money_maker

Be interesting to see her prove any payments she made to the house.


On a lighter note, you have been very lucky to escape this person. Yes, you have been walked over. Next time, find a partner equal to you in effort and input. When she said she didn't want to waste her life working, you should have started running.

haras_nosirrah

if she is early 30's and together 12 yrs did she go straight from parents to living with you? She is going to find the real world where she has to stand on her own feet tough.

Thank your lucky stars you didn't marry her and have children together. She saw you as a bank - you can now find someone who sees you as a partner not a bank

[Deleted User]

However did you manage 12 years with this !!!!!!!!!! ?


Offer her a token amount to rent a flat for 6 mths and get rid.


Consider this a lucky escape although to be fair she is the winner not having had to earn a living for 12yrs and finding someone fool enough to accept that.

tacpot12

Do you really want to sell he property having done so much work to it? I think you might be hoping that selling it will help you separate from you ex-fianc!.

I would take some time to think about this - I would suggest that you are better off staying in the property. Get the professional legal advice suggested earlier - I think you will find that you are ok to just change the locks and call the police if she threatens you.