ADVICE NEEDED - I like him but he's moving away

DreamTraveller

Hello! This is my first post here so I'm not entirely sure how this goes. To save some time for people, I'll explain a short version and a long version for those who want the full story.

Short version:
I met a guy online who I really like(which is rare for me). We've been on two dates and so far, so good. Although, he told me he's moving to London for work. I used to live in London(now in Glasgow) and visit friends regularly down there but I'm not sure if I should say to him if he wants to continue anything when he moves down. For more info, read the long version What should I do?

Long version:
I met this guy on Tinder, not really expecting anything as I had just moved up from London after falling ill. He asked me on a date and I was like, "Why not?" to myself so agreed. The date went great, we lost track of time and spent 7 hours just chatting.

I clicked with him which is rare for me as I've had a very difficult and emotional relationship in the past so I've been put off dating for about a year now. Usually guys I meet I'm not interested in after the second date so I told myself not to get too ahead of myself.

Fast forward to the next weekend, we agreed to go on another date. The same thing happened, we spent about 6/7 hours just chatting and I really think something is different with this guy. I know it's early days but considering my last relationship, I still want to see how things pan out.
The only issue; he told me he's moving to London in a few months for work. Now I love London, I used to live there for a couple of years and can see myself going back at some point but I'm not sure what to do at this point. Yes, I visit there often and I can ask him if he wants to continue seeing each other while he's doing there.

I'm getting mixed opinions from my friends but my main issue is, what if he thinks I'm crazy for even suggesting something like this? I'm not sure how to explain "long distance dating" rather than "long distance relationship" and he may just want to date down there because it may be easier? I think my fear is rejection but I really want some advice as to what do to.

I want to see where it goes for these few months(because you never know, something may happen where it does or doesn't work) then maybe suggest seeing if he wants to continue dating when he moves but the introvert in me is saying "Don't do it, you'd sound crazy" considering it's only on date 2 and when he moves it would only be 2 months of dating(if it continues).

Would really appreciate some advice on if I'm going in the right direction or not. I would never think about this usually because I know long distance is hard work, especially when it's very new, but I actually like him and feel like if I don't do anything then I'd regret it.

Thanks in advance and sorry if I'm sounding completely crazy at the moment(I don't think I am but different opinions, hey ho).

Cheers! x

Comms69

Have you asked him what he wants from this relationship?

rach_k

Definitely ask him. He's the one who went on Tinder looking for people locally, knowing that he is moving away in a few months, so he probably has a simple answer for you. Either he's up for something long-distance or he's just looking for a fling (or he's really dumb not to have considered that he's moving!).

I suppose even if he was only after a few months of fun before he moves, it could still turn into something more. If he tells you that's what he's after, there's nothing stopping you having fun now, then next time you're in London you can ask him if he fancies meeting for a drink and see where it goes.

DreamTraveller

Comms69 wrote: »

Have you asked him what he wants from this relationship?

No, I thought it was too early for that but from what he's been saying on the dates it sounds like he doesn't want just a fling because he keeps mentioning stuff in the future and I just don't get that "fling" vibe.

Robinette

Live for the moment and enjoy the time you spend with him before he moves. Things may have progressed by then or they may have fizzled out. People come into our lives for different reasons and you do not yet know the reason in this case - all you can do is enjoy it and deal with things as they arise rather than hypothetically. Good luck!

ska_lover

Comms69 wrote: »

Have you asked him what he wants from this relationship?

I'd run a mile if someone asked me that after two dates


OP, he isn't leaving for a few months, just relax and enjoy it

Comms69

ska_lover wrote: »

I'd run a mile if someone asked me that after two dates


OP, he isn't leaving for a few months, just relax and enjoy it

Indeed and I was going to put 'relationship' - but with that said it may not be unreasonable to say - next time it's brought up - what he thinks this means for them.

NaughtiusMaximus

Robinette wrote: »

Live for the moment and enjoy the time you spend with him before he moves. Things may have progressed by then or they may have fizzled out. People come into our lives for different reasons and you do not yet know the reason in this case - all you can do is enjoy it and deal with things as they arise rather than hypothetically. Good luck!

^^^^
This.

Give it 6-8 weeks and if you still feel the same way bring up the 'what do you want from this relationship' question then.

FBaby

What difference does it make if you ask him? If he agreed to go on dates with a local girl when he knew he was going to be moving, then clearly he was either opened to the idea of a long term relationship, or planning to enjoy a few dates and then move on. Discussing things won't change that, so you might as well enjoy the months you have to enjoy each other's company.

Who knows, maybe he was planning to only make the best of a few dates but fall so madly in love, decide that he is ready to invest in a long term relationship.

DreamTraveller

I should mention to those saying he knew he was moving - he didn't know until last week before our the date and after he met me online and the first time.
So, I have no clue how he feels about long distance but I'll take your advice and just see where it goes; then when the time comes and I still like him, suggest still seeing each other.

Thank you for all your replies though x

REJP

Ask yourself why you never get a second date. Do you talk too much and not give your date a chance to say anything? Trying too hard can be off putting to some people.
See if you enjoy the next months before he moves then make a decision about staying with him. Don't move to London just on the chance it might work out.