Wanting to rent a new house & getting married... advice / tips needed

apricity

So we're aiming to get married next year but we've been having a lot of talks today about finding & renting a bigger home for us to live. We'd like to rent so that we can save for actually buying a house but to also start our own family unit as we feel that if we choose one or the other, we won't reach the other goal until much later on in our lives and I fear we may 'never' get there.

I struggle a little with the both of us and would never be able to fit a new born or a toddler in the current house we rent.

My fiance was on about getting a bank loan so that he could still save some money away and make monthly payments to repay the loan. I don't really like this idea and would try and put some money towards it without breaking into my wedding budget.

I just wondered how to start this process of saving to move out of this house and to save for a wedding at the same time?

I'm struggling a little to save for lots of things all at once.

gettingtheresometime

Firstly I'd ( & I don't know who would) recommend getting a loan to pay for a wedding. To get into debt to pay for a wedding is not only daft but when you come to get a mortgage will go against you on affordability grounds.

So you have to ask yourself do you want to spend goodness knows how much on one day or put a fair proportion of that money towards a house deposit.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying you shouldn't get married but some of the best weddings I've been to have been those that didn't cost the most.

Tiffyb

I would not be getting in to debt for a wedding. Especially if you plan start a family.

A wedding can wait, and personally I don!!!8217;t feel is a priority, also can you actually do things quite cheaply if you time things right and no one need know!

I would be saving for the bigger house, renting the bigger house, and enjoy having a family and save as you go. Me and my husband have been together 13 years (we are 28) our oldest is 8, got married 3 years ago and buying our house this year! Good things come to those who wait!

apricity

We're not going to get a loan for the wedding , we're saving £2,500 each for it but he wants a loan for the fees of the tennant fees so he doesn't have to eat into the wedding savings.

I'm sure we can afford to save as we haven't decided when We want to move out but ideally in the next year or so. Even if I take on a weekend job ... ?

Tiffyb

I would eat it out the wedding fund and postpone the wedding. Last thing you want is a big ol loan on top of all other expenses that you!!!8217;ll gain as a new household/ family.

apricity

he doesn't want to do that. I said to him there isn't a rush for marriage ,
we've been engaged since September last year so I don't see how another year would make a difference. Plus it's been a bit of a fairy-tale dream for me to have my child/ren at our wedding (not that i have kids now but always wanted kids before marriage but he wants marriage before kids,i'm happy as long as we make a family lol)

I'm gonna save for moving out separately but at the same time as saving for a wedding , I have 52% left to save before i hit my half after I get christmas out of the way

Tiffyb

Aw it was so awesome having our kids at the wedding!

But honestly it!!!8217;s just another thing hanging over your head when your expenses will already be going up. I would try and talk some sense in to him lol.

apricity

Yeah He's very set in his ways.
When he's made up his mind about something it won't change so I just leave him to realize.

I'd rather get the house , not fussed about marriage too much , i mean i know now it'll happen someday as I am engaged just I'd rather have a family. I have a lot of family issues with my family so I am largely stressed about the wedding.

I'm hoping to do the wedding cheaper than our budget so any left over will go towards a house, the house was my next thing to save for anyway and didnt discuss this with my fiance but he seems to be talking about moving out sooner.

I'll update when more things are said about it, this is all from a 15 min conversation

iammumtoone

There is nothing wrong with the 'modern' way of having children then getting married but on the other hand its nice your OH wants to be more traditional.

Why not a compromise? get married at a registry office, simple outfits, just close immediate family and a few close friends to go for a meal afterwards, no reception. Or Even just you two if its something you would both be happy with.

Then once you are in a better financial situation have a blessing where your children can attend and you can have the big party, if it makes you both feel better put a time limit on this for example plan to have it on your fifth or tenth anniversary.

apricity

we're already going for the registry office but he wanted the nice room and looking like it's going to be £740 to have the room and ceremony on saturday as saturdays are only when we could hire an entire hall for £475 .

I got my dress & shoes , the reception is jeans & tee
I got some bits for decor that I haven't included in the budget as i purchased them with spare cash from the monthly budget

his family comes from Oxford (we're from bristol) and theres a lot of his close family so I was gonna have a party so it's not a waste of a journey and I do want a party anyway but will be doing it ourselves. Mostly.

gettingtheresometime

apricity wrote: »

We're not going to get a loan for the wedding , we're saving £2,500 each for it but he wants a loan for the fees of the tennant fees so he doesn't have to eat into the wedding savings.

I'm sure we can afford to save as we haven't decided when We want to move out but ideally in the next year or so. Even if I take on a weekend job ... ?

But the fact you have a loan whether it be for a wedding or for tenancy fees is neither here nor there, it would still count against you when it came to a mortgage.