Suppose I'd better get on with it then!!

PurpleFairy26

Hi don78 just wanted to ask if the SOA is actually what you spend or what you would like to spend? You say it's from September when your wife goes back full time, even if you take off her salary that would leave you with a significant surplus now - where is that going? Will any childcare be incurred when she goes back. Also all your numbers, both outgoings and debt are round numbers, I would suggest in reality that isn't the case. Go through the last 3 months bank statements and see what you have actually spent.

Don't worry most people will do several soa in the first few months (or years) of budgeting as circumstances change. You need to make sure you save for the bills you pay annually for each month so that you can pay in full when they come round, I would also allocate some money to an emereggancy fund each month - I know saving whilst in debt might seem counter productive but believe me if something breaks, you'll be grateful for it rather than having to increase your cc debt.

Best of luck on your journey.

don78

PurpleFairy26 wrote: »

Hi don78 just wanted to ask if the SOA is actually what you spend or what you would like to spend? You say it's from September when your wife goes back full time, even if you take off her salary that would leave you with a significant surplus now - where is that going? Will any childcare be incurred when she goes back. Also all your numbers, both outgoings and debt are round numbers, I would suggest in reality that isn't the case. Go through the last 3 months bank statements and see what you have actually spent.

Don't worry most people will do several soa in the first few months (or years) of budgeting as circumstances change. You need to make sure you save for the bills you pay annually for each month so that you can pay in full when they come round, I would also allocate some money to an emereggancy fund each month - I know saving whilst in debt might seem counter productive but believe me if something breaks, you'll be grateful for it rather than having to increase your cc debt.

Best of luck on your journey.

Hi - the SOA is what I think we should be spending from September. I agree it would be useful to look through bank statements etc so I will do that at some point this weekend.

Yes, we do need to have some sort of emergency fund otherwise we would just end up using credit again!

don78

So my wife and I are back on friendly terms now after last weeks's events ( her talking to our friend about her debt). I do accept that she may need more support than me. It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't also friends with the husband. I just prefer to keep my finances private.

It turns out that she has also told her sister, although not the actual figures! We have agreed that we will keep it to ourselves but will speak to each other if we ever feel the need to discuss it elsewhere. My main worry would be my parents finding out. This would be totally pointless. They do not have the means to help us, and even if they did I wouldn't want that. There are retired, in their seventies and enjoying life. They would worry so much if they knew our debt figures and I just don't see any point in that. I would go as far as actually lying to them about it to protect them from it! They are from a generation where debt is seen as taboo.

I am pretty sure that my brother is in debt too as his lifestyle is a little 'flashy', but I don't want to talk to him about it either!

don78

Jogged with Mr X again this morning. He mentioned the debt, and the fact that his wife had told him that I was not happy about him and his wife knowing. I had to make it very clear that I didn't to discuss it today, or ever! I actually felt a bit bad afterwards as I am sure he would have been non-judgmental, but I just don't want to go there.