Suppose I'd better get on with it then!!

don78

Hi,

I posted on the DFW board last week when I needed advice about the best route to tackle my debt. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5868549/how-would-you-approach-this-dmp-or-not

I am hoping that keeping a diary will keep me on the straight and narrow. I will copy and past my SOA below.

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 3250
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1805
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 5055

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 524
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 110
Electricity............................. 40
Gas..................................... 80
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 34
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 60
TV Licence.............................. 12.54
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 250
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 160
Road tax................................ 5
Car Insurance........................... 25
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 120
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 20
Contents insurance...................... 15
Life assurance ......................... 35
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 150
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1795.54


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 210000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 5000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 215000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Mortgage...................... 72000....(524)......1.8
Total secured & HP debts...... 72000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
barclaycard....................10000.....265...... .17.9
tesco CC.......................4000......125.......19.9
bcard 2........................4400......101.......6.9
loan 2.........................8500......160.......7.9
halifax 2......................7000......80........4.9
halifax 1......................4800......48........0
loan...........................6000......248.6.... .9.9
mbna...........................5000......198...... .22.9
creation 2.....................4000......90........19.9
creation 1.....................5000......145.......16.9
Total unsecured debts..........58700.....1460.6....-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 5,055
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,795.54
Available for debt repayments........... 3,259.46
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,460.6
Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,798.86

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 215,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -72,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -58,700
Net Assets.............................. 84,300

don78

annoyed.com

Perhaps you guys could tell me if I am being unreasonable here...

My wife and I are the only ones who know about our debt. I am 'old school' and don't like to talk about finances with friends and family. I also think that it's our business and no one else's. I assumed that my wife felt the same.

It turns out that she discussed it with one of our friends yesterday - lets call them Mr and Mrs X.

I went jogging with Mr X this morning and he knew all about it! I think that he sensed by discomfort with the conversation and stopped talking about it. My wife had spoken to his wife and she had gone home and told him!

I feel really disappointed that other people know. I consider this to be really personal info. I would never dream of asking someone about their finances. I am also concerned as this couple have some links to my parents. I would hate my parents to find out and I have absolutely no intention of every telling them about our dent. It would worry them to death.

Am I right to be annoyed at my wife for discussing it with others?

enthusiasticsaver

Is that soa correct because it shows you as having almost £1800 spare each month and you obviously don't as you have £58700 debt and no savings.

You need emergency savings so you are tempted not to put more on credit when the next emergency comes up.

Re your wife discussing the debt I think it depends on how you both view the debt and if your opinions on it differ. Do you want to reduce it and your wife doesn't think it's a problem? Or vice versa. I would ask her not to talk about it as it is private. I think you are right to be annoyed but you both need to be on board to get the debt sorted.

don78

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Is that soa correct because it shows you as having almost £1800 spare each month and you obviously don't as you have £58700 debt and no savings.

You need emergency savings so you are tempted not to put more on credit when the next emergency comes up.

Re your wife discussing the debt I think it depends on how you both view the debt and if your opinions on it differ. Do you want to reduce it and your wife doesn't think it's a problem? Or vice versa. I would ask her not to talk about it as it is private. I think you are right to be annoyed but you both need to be on board to get the debt sorted.

Hi, the SOA is from September onwards when my wife returns to full time work. Our current income is £1000 per month less.

We have been overspending for years. Any spare cash that we had we would use for weekends away, things for the house etc. All of that has now stopped. We will have a hefty amount leftover from September onwards that we can use towards debts.

My wife and I both agree on the importance of paying down the debt, she is just happier to be open with others. I view it as deeply private.

don78

Feeling a bit rubbish about it all this morning. Not sure why as I have been largely positive about our prospects of dealing with it, up until today.

I think the thing that is most bothering me is the fact that we have all of this debt and very little to show for it - is this common for others too?

We haven't got flash cars or loads of gadgets that we can sell. A lot of our debt has been spent on experiences, holidays etc.

[Deleted User]

don78 wrote: »

I think the thing that is most bothering me is the fact that we have all of this debt and very little to show for it - is this common for others too?

This is a very common feeling. Don't feel bad, you're dealing with your debts and things will improve.

pidge04

Yep, not much to show here for the debt I am in.

It is really hard but try not to dwell too deeply on the past.
Look forward to a debt free future.

I just try and tell myself that this is not forever. A blip in the road (albeit a very expensive one!)

Take care.

[Deleted User]

Exactly it is just a blip

Have a great day x

natsplatnat

Memories last for ever - shiny goods don't!


The great news is that come September you can blitz away at your debts and also save for future memory making times! Nothing batter than being able to create memories... especial if you don't get into debt for them.
Have you looked at the snowball tool? It will help identify the order in which you need to bust your debts and will show how even small overpayments will reduce the length of time you have this debt for. Usually target the highest interest earning debts first!
What are your plans for August... keeping a spending diary would be good to highlight where you money goes now... so you can hit September running!


All the best!

don78

natsplatnat wrote: »

Memories last for ever - shiny goods don't!


The great news is that come September you can blitz away at your debts and also save for future memory making times! Nothing batter than being able to create memories... especial if you don't get into debt for them.
Have you looked at the snowball tool? It will help identify the order in which you need to bust your debts and will show how even small overpayments will reduce the length of time you have this debt for. Usually target the highest interest earning debts first!
What are your plans for August... keeping a spending diary would be good to highlight where you money goes now... so you can hit September running!


All the best!

Yes, September can't come soon enough! We are going on holiday this month! We booked it last year and paid the balance ( by CC) before we had out LBM. It'a a week all inclusive and we would lost almost all the funds if we cancelled, so we are going. The plan is to take FULL advantage of the all inclusive. Thankfully there are pools and slides etc so it's child friendly. This will be our last foreign holiday for a good few years.

booksandbacon

don78 wrote: »

I think the thing that is most bothering me is the fact that we have all of this debt and very little to show for it - is this common for others too?

We haven't got flash cars or loads of gadgets that we can sell. A lot of our debt has been spent on experiences, holidays etc.

100% know exactly what you mean here - I have a car that feels like driving a rollerskate, a laptop that shuts down willy-nilly and massive Roy Orbison-style glasses I can't bear to upgrade because the last time I did get new glasses they cost me over £300 which I promptly lost, a week later, at a gin festival :mad:

But I also think the 'experiences' can sometimes still leave a bitter taste - OH and I took a big trip to America (pre-Trump, thank goodness) and it was all financed on credit. One of the hotel bookings was messed up (by me) so we ended up using a big chunk of our spending money (which was from credit) on paying for the hotel. It was an enjoyable trip but I still felt anxious the entire time because our finances were so unstable.

I can understand how you feel about your wife talking to her friend about the debt, when I had the LBM I felt so angry and ashamed that it had come to this and I didn't want anyone to know I was so embarrassed. But really I just felt alone and stuck. The DFW folk on here have really changed that and have provided a really good support system, whether it be through answering questions, giving advice or a simple "I hope you feel better today". I guess the point I'm trying to make is that maybe your wife wants/needs a wider support system, particularly if you both view the debt differently - the most important thing is that you are working together.