Psychologically damaged?

ImaginaryBallroom

It was really brave of you to post this. I can somewhat relate to what you are going through, particularly the checking and rechecking of small details.

I've been in my reception job for a few months, and while I can't be considered 'new' any more, I'm definitely not 'experienced' either. The thing I struggle with most is settling bills and taking payments using the hotel's computer system. It's an old-fashioned piece of software that is often slow and uncooperative.

Another employee started in the job at the same time as me, and I feel like she has progressed so much quicker. We write handovers at the end of our shifts so the next receptionist can see what's gone down during the previous shift, and they're all stored in a folder in our shared inbox. If I've been off for a few days (I only work three or four days a week), I'll scroll through the handovers to see if any problems arose and how the receptionist on shift dealt with it. This other girl who started at the same time as me has so much initiative. She'll detail what happened and what she did to resolve it, and more often than not I mentally kick myself and think, 'I would never have thought to do that!'

I've had some strange looks and a couple of worrying comments from senior members of staff in the past. I think everyone, including myself, is aware that I'm a little bit 'slow'. While I don't have any disabilities or anything like that, I just generally feel quite stupid and unable to pick things up quickly. In almost every aspect of my life I've needed 'extra support', whether that be in work, education, or heck, even dance classes! I'm fed up of being the weak link or the underdog.

All I can suggest is, continue to do things your way. Surely it's better to check something and get it right rather than be hasty and get it wrong. My colleagues often say things like, "You know there's a faster way to do this, right?" And I understand that they're trying to be helpful but I need to slow down. And it's not impacting on anyone else's work or wasting anyone else's time, so I don't see the problem.

dekaspace

Armorica wrote: »

Anxiety is pretty obvious from the post.

Aspergers is simply one of a number of possible diagnoses - it's not a speculative one, merely a possible one. (Bearing in mind the OP already feels ADHD is likely)

The OP may want to consider reading a book on aspergers and seeing if it fits. In particular things that would fit with aspergers would include
- OP claims smart, educated, high tech
- Poor short term memory
- Difficultly with quick processing of verbal information

(I couldnt spot anything in the original post that really suggests ADHD, and anxiety can be a symptom where aspergers in the root cause)

The situation the OP describes is a common career path for individuals with aspergers.

For the avoidance of doubt, I amm not saying it IS. I am saying it MIGHT be, and is just ONE of MANY possibilities.

I have aspergers and can honesty say the OPs post is close to if not exactly spot on for my situation word for word, I struggle with simple instructions and excel on complex ones for me its because simple instruction is very vague and if given a long timescale I feel like I have done something wrong.