Moving Mum in with us

KJBerry

We lost my Dad last September and Mum is really struggling to cope - she is 88 and has never lived alone before. She has never had to deal with finances or managing home maintenance and although she is physically well she is struggling to cope emotionally.

She inherited dad's IHT allowance and now has total savings amounting to a total of about £670,000. Dad left half the house in trust to my brother and myself.

We are starting to think that Mum will need to come and live with us and sell the house, which is probably worth in the region of £175,000.

Her current will leaves her entire estate to my brother and I.

If Mum sells the house to move in with us am I right in thinking that we would lose the Property Exemption Allowance and therefore put her estate over the IHT threshold?

If so, does anyone have any good alternative suggestions?

I would be grateful for any advice.

Dox

This really is one where good advice from an accountant/solicitor is worth paying for. There are all sorts of pitfalls - and escape routes, too, so I'd get on and do it sooner rather than later. They will need sight of your dad's will to establish the exact terms of the trust under which you and your brother inherit half the family home.

Yorkshireman99

Dox wrote: »

This really is one where good advice from an accountant/solicitor is worth paying for. There are all sorts of pitfalls - and escape routes, too, so I'd get on and do it sooner rather than later. They will need sight of your dad's will to establish the exact terms of the trust under which you and your brother inherit half the family home.

I would ad make sure the solicitor is a STEP member so knows about the in and outs of trusts IHT implications. They can save the family thousands.

Tom99

KJBerry wrote: »

If Mum sells the house to move in with us am I right in thinking that we would lose the Property Exemption Allowance and therefore put her estate over the IHT threshold?

No its not lost but the calculation can seem complicated:

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/how-downsizing-selling-or-gifting-a-home-affects-the-additional-inheritance-tax-threshold

getmore4less

KJBerry wrote: »

We lost my Dad last September and Mum is really struggling to cope - she is 88 and has never lived alone before. She has never had to deal with finances or managing home maintenance and although she is physically well she is struggling to cope emotionally.

She inherited dad's IHT allowance and now has total savings amounting to a total of about £670,000. Dad left half the house in trust to my brother and myself.

We are starting to think that Mum will need to come and live with us and sell the house, which is probably worth in the region of £175,000.

Her current will leaves her entire estate to my brother and I.

If Mum sells the house to move in with us am I right in thinking that we would lose the Property Exemption Allowance and therefore put her estate over the IHT threshold?

If so, does anyone have any good alternative suggestions?

I would be grateful for any advice.

If that is a life trust then you need to include the full value of the house as her assets if not then there may not be the 100% transferable.

The downsizing rules kick in so the full amounts should be available (against the property value)

Keep_pedalling

I would be more worried about the impact this move would have on my family than any tax implication. How well do you and the other members of your household get on together?

I know if my late mother had moved in with us it would have driven me nuts, and a friends wife had to move out because she could not stand to live under the same roof as her MIL any longer.

An alternative solution would be to sell up and move into sheltered or assisted living accommodation close to you.

Margot123

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

I would be more worried about the impact this move would have on my family than any tax implication. How well do you and the other members of your household get on together?

I know if my late mother had moved in with us it would have driven me nuts, and a friends wife had to move out because she could not stand to live under the same roof as her MIL any longer.

An alternative solution would be to sell up and move into sheltered or assisted living accommodation close to you.

This is very sound advice.
The primary consideration has to be the psychological affect it will have on everyone involved.

I have seen far too many times where families have 'taken in' elderly relatives who are in reasonable health, only to see the families fall apart due to the pressures of caring for that person.

Have you considered what would happen if Mum developed dementia, regretted the move, felt she was a burden? What if she becomes immobile, incontinent, requires medications by injection/syringe driver etc?

I know these are 'what ifs' but they do have a habit of becoming reality.

Robin9

My wife has always said that if her Mum moves in with us she will move out, book into a hotel and send me the bill.

Flugelhorn

Oh yes - one thing I knew I could never manage. Some people feel that they have to do this and forget the impact on others.
"Assisted living" or "enhanced sheltered" nearby would be an option as mentioned above

margaretclare

I think this is where I can speak from experience.


We took in my MIL in the mid-70s. Did not know that she already had symptoms of dementia. Did not understand all the implications of this.


Nowadays dementia is recognised and is talked about much more freely. Not then.



I would never, never advise it. There is no suggestion that the OP's mum is demented, just that she is 'struggling to cope'. I would submit that any newly-widowed person will struggle to cope, especially if, as is said, she's never lived alone before, never dealt with finances etc.



I remember widowhood in 1992 and although it happens to very many people, it's not something I would wish on my worst enemy.


I would suggest there may be other ways of helping Mum rather than taking the huge and irrevocable step of moving her in with you.

Savvy_Sue

I don't think the OP says how far away Mum lives at present, and that would also form part of my thinking. At 88, no-one is going to cope 'well' with losing their life partner, and Mum may be better left with her friends around her rather than 'moving her' - presumably with her agreement - away from friends and familiarity. big decisions like this should not be rushed!